Who Should Pay on a Date?

Paying etiquette has to be one of the touchiest dating issues. Sure, once your relationship starts getting serious, you'll have sorted it out, but in the early days, it can be tough to know what's expected of you.

So we ask: Who pays, the man or the woman, and when?

He Says:
Men are kind of in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" position. Some women are insulted if you pay, thinking you're trying to buy their affection or something. Others get equally offended if you don't reach for your wallet at the end of the date. But I think it's pretty much generally accepted now that who ever initiated the date should expect to pay. In the case of a mutual meeting or a set-up, the default payee is the guy. Maybe it's old-school of me, but even if she invited me out, I'll probably still reach for the check, unless she really insists on paying.

She Says:
I hate that awkward moment when the check arrives. If it's really, really early in our dating history and we're just meeting for coffee or drinks, I think it's best to just pay your own way. Once you've made the leap to Official Dates - the kind with bigger tabs - I'll do the "fake reach" for the tab, or mention splitting it, and leave it to the guy to either take me up on my offer to go Dutch or to insist on paying himself. I think it's best to be casual about it. If he picks up the tab for dinner, I'll spring for the movie tickets, or buy a few rounds at the bar afterwards. Eventually, as your relationship progresses, this kind of thing all evens out.