10 hard questions to ask yourself before having children for women

Whether or not to have children, and when, is one of the biggest decisions a woman has to make. While a “gut” feeling is usually a good indicator of whether you are ready or not to become a mother, there are some serious things to consider. Following are 10 hard questions to ask yourself before having children.

1--Are you ready to be selfless? You become a mother the day of conception. From that day forward every decision you make not only affects you, it affects your baby. Whether it is watching what you eat, avoiding that after dinner drink or putting your career on hold, almost every decision you make is based on your baby. Decide whether you are ready to put yourself second.

2--Is the father ready? Whether you are married or single, the father of your baby will have an impact on you and your child’s life. Do you have a supportive partner who will support you through pregnancy, labor and life with a newborn? Will you be able to support him as his life changes? Are you having a baby on your own? What will the involvement of the biological father be? The only right answer to these questions is what feels right to you. However, don’t take lightly the role of the father and the impact of a new baby on him.

3--Are you financially prepared? Again, this is a question you have to answer based on what feels right to you. Some people don’t feel financially prepared for a baby until they can guarantee full payment for a Harvard education. Others feel ready if they have a crib and a high chair. Make sure that you are comfortable with your financial situation, before bringing a new baby into it.

4--Are you ready for things to get a little more complicated? Having a baby changes everything whether it be a trip to the grocery store or a night out with your husband. Everything becomes more complicated and involves car seats, strollers, diaper bags, babysitters and diapers. Most parents agree that the pros outweigh the cons, but it is a major lifestyle change.

5--Are you ready to surrender control of your body? From trying to get pregnant, to pregnancy, to labor, to breastfeeding, to weaning, your body becomes a baby laboratory. Everything you put into your body matters and changes happen that are out of your control. Be sure you’re ready to dedicate your body to your baby.

6--Are you willing to do the work that being a mother takes? Being a mother is one of the toughest jobs there is. You are on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You are required to be a teacher, a doctor, a psychologist, a clown and a disciplinarian all in one day. Like anything, the more you put into motherhood, the more you get out of it. There are all kinds of classes and books that can prepare you to be a mother. Decide if you are ready to put extra time into being a successful mother.

7--Are you responsible? There is no greater responsibility than being a mother. It takes organization, patience and confidence. If you are responsible in other parts of your life, than you probably will be a responsible parent.

8--What are your long-term goals? Think about where you see yourself in five, ten or fifteen years. What are your goals and dreams? If you see yourself as president of your company, will a child fit into that picture? If you see yourself sitting around the dinner table with a large family, than having a child will help you reach that goal.

9--Is your biological clock ticking? Women can feel their biological clock ticking at any age. If you feel it ticking when you are 22, decide if it is really the right time or if you would rather accomplish other goals first. If you feel your clock ticking at 42, decide is it just because you are running out of time or have you always wanted a baby. Again, it is a personal decision that only you can make.

10--What will a baby add to your life? You should be able to answer this question with at least three meaningful things. Bringing a baby into your life is life-changing and should not be taken lightly.