Can You Be in a Long Distance Relationships While Studying at College Or University?

College and university is a time of major change for those who only recently were pondering what life would be like outside of their high school walls. Expectations run high, and many previous familiarities will be left behind for new experiences. This may or may not include high school sweethearts. For those who decide to stay together even though they must say goodbye and begin long distance relationships, the time ahead will put their relationship to the test. But there many other reasons why long distance relationships have become more common during the time spent at college or university - some have met their partner from out of town online, at a party, concert, or through involvement in certain activities. In fact [according to a 2002 study by a large US southeastern university of approximately 450 university students(1)], between 25-35% of college relationships were long distance. It can be a very rewarding bond if you have found that special person worth making the effort for. After all, just because the meeting occurred when the geography was not ideal does not mean the people involved are not going to be ideal together. For those who choose to accept and overcome the challenges of being in an long distance relationship, some realities must be faced. Examples include lack of support from friends and family who doubt the relationship chances, an inability to have the desired physical connection, time differences where partners are on different sides of the world etc. Approximately 1 in 5 long distance relationships will last until the end of university, but these figures are not very different to those for proximal relationships .

Those pursuing a higher education whilst maintaining a distance relationship must realize that their education is going to be the base of any life they form together once the separation is over, and should be respected as such. Skipping classes, and foregoing assignments because you cannot bear to be apart is ultimately going to make life much harder for both people if tertiary education fails, and jobs are scarce. If the people involved in long distance relationships are serious about a future together, there must be a mutual understanding about time commitments to schooling, as well as one another. There are certainly going to be many nights when sleep is calling after a day of labs, lectures and projects, but this is often the only time that can be given to chatting on the phone, discussing each others days and feeling closer. After all, it is nights like these that coffee was invented for! Mark L said "We had a time every night that we spoke on the phone or exchanged text messages, no matter what. Jess always knew she would hear from me, and I think that made her feel better." The effort will likely not go unnoticed, and sends the very affectionate message that despite the long day, being able to talk was too important to forgo.
Communication is the life blood of an online or long distance relationship. Failure to reach out amplifies distance, when the goal is always to minimize it. Phone calls, instant messaging, texts and even handwritten letters or packages reach across any distance to touch the heart. Approximately 10% of college students in long distance relationships are able to see their partners regularly ; therefore the remaining 90% must make up for this absence with communication. Exchanging schedules and class times is a great way to ensure there isn't confusion about how each person is spending their time. Being forthright about who your friends are and introducing them if possible will also go a long way to cutting down jealousy and suspicion. When a partner understands that friends are not a threat, it decreases the chances that there will be arguments about them.

For many students, taking on a job is part of the school experience in order to meet demands of rising education costs, but also, to enable payment of long distance phone bills! There are the rare occasions when couples may be given the opportunity to have a weekend or more off from both school and work during reading weeks and holidays. If constant communication is the life blood of a long distance relationship, then taking advantage of these free times is the heart. Having a healthy dose of time together is invaluable to distance relationships, and gives the couple that boost of energy required to face the distance once again until the next time they can be together.

College and University is a time of change and growth in all aspects of life. There may be temptations outside of the distance relationship, which is why establishing and developing honesty and trust is key between partners. Having a clear idea of what is acceptable when faced with many new choices and experiences (and there will be many!) is the best way to get through a long distance relationship without feeling as though anything has been compromised. If it is too difficult for one or both people to maintain some code of conduct for their partners sake, the partners should consider whether the timing of the relationship is wrong, or whether the relationship itself is simply not right for an individual person. However, there will be other times when you have found that special someone, and no amount of distance or compromise will get in the way.