How Young is Too Young for Marriage?

In the United States, most states require a couple to be 18 years old to marry without parental consent. But can teens be mature enough for marriage?

According to a 2006 Gallup poll, Americans generally believe 25 to be the ideal marriage age for women, with 27 the preferred age for men. In 1946, however, Gallup found that 50% of Americans felt a woman should be married by 21.
Clearly, modern-day approach to marriage has changed. As marriage became less about procreation and more about love and companionship, the ideal marriage age has moved away from an emphasis on sexual maturity and towards an emphasis on emotional or mental maturity.
Yet for thousands of teens every year, the question remains: "Am I too young to get married?"

Changes and Life Experience
According to a November 9, 2009 article in USA Today, people who marry in their teens (16-19) are two to three time more likely to divorce. Some studies suggest that this is because older couples tend to be more realistic and mature about marriage, and because teenagers often experience personality changes as they move into adulthood.
Young adults go through a lot of changes when they leave high school – they make new friends, they have entirely new experiences in college or at their jobs, they find new interests and discard old ones. Such changes in a person’s personal goals or life outlook can also change their feelings about marriage or the person they think they love.
Even if a high school couple stays together after graduation and does not separate for college or job purposes, they can still experience a plethora of emotional changes that could make it difficult to relate to one another.

Mature Attitudes towards Marriage
Older couples may also be better at marriage because they’re more prepared for the reality of married life. Many younger people have romantic notions about weddings, and don’t think further than the poufy white dress and the steamy wedding night. Even more mature teenage couples often assume that the difficult part of marriage will be the “toilet seat” types of problems – little habits that can get on the other person’s nerves, like forgetting to put down the toilet seat or squeezing the tube of toothpaste from the middle instead of the end.
In reality, though, those annoying habits are easy for couples in love to deal with – it’s the way the other person will change that can be hard to understand. “You have to learn each other the same way that you once learned earth science or world geography,” wrote Ylonda Gault in a Dec. 22, 2008 article for Redbook. “And getting married doesn't mean you're done – it just means you've advanced to graduate-level studies. That's because every time you think you've mastered the material, he'll change a bit. And so will you.”
Mature couples understand this, and maturity often comes from life experience, which is difficult to attain in your late teens.

Long Engagements Don’t Hurt
If you’re a teen who wonders whether or not he or she is ready for marriage, consider this advice: a long engagement never hurt anyone.
Even if you think you’re in love or you feel more mature than others your age, it never hurts to wait awhile to get married. Think of it as a test: if your love is real and can sustain a lifetime commitment, then it won’t matter whether or not you’re married – you’ll be together. If your relationship really is ready for marriage, then it won’t be any less ready in five years, will it? And if you break up before then – well, then it’ll be a good thing to have waited.
If you’re still set on marriage, have a long engagement – wait until you’ve reached your twenties to make any definitive wedding plans. If you like, you can wear an engagement ring, or even a “promise ring,” a sort of pre-engagement ring that signals that you’re waiting for each other to be truly ready for such a commitment.

And before you make ANY plans at all, talk to your parents, guardians, or other trusted family members first. It’s important to have as much support as you can from the people who probably know you best.