How to find a long-lost friend

Friendships from the past often rise from our memories to haunt us. All of a sudden, an old army buddy or school friend comes to mind. At that moment you would give just about anything to have a chat with that person.

But without a clue for finding the friend, we abandon the search, promising ourselves to give it a try another time.
The next time that happens, give some thought to experimenting with techniques like these to track down and renew a former acquaintance.

1. Check original sources. Start with the site of your initial relationship. If it occurred at work, get in touch with that employer to see if anyone there has a forwarding address. If the two of you or a small group of regulars frequented a favorite spot or two, stop by to see if anyone has heard from your old pal. Perhaps you had a link to the person's family. Call or email relatives of your old friend to inquire as to that person's whereabouts. Mutual friends might likewise know something that they can pass on to you.

2. Do an Internet search. Try a Google search using the person's first and last name. If the name is common, like "John Brown," you may want to add some qualifying words, such as the name of your friend's hometown, high school, or other identifying information. If you have particulars, like a social security number or license plate, add those to the mix. The Web is a wonderful place to track all kinds of people and things.

3. Place an ad. If you have reason to believe your buddy is still in the area, publish a classified ad in a friendly, low-key way:
"John Brown: Hey buddy--long time no see! Remember the one-oar boat? Get in touch with Larry Davis at post office box 24 in Sioux City or call me at 317-440-2676."
Do the same in special newsletters where you share a hobby or interest, like model airplanes or knitting.

4. Contact current local groups where your friend might have an interest or a connection. For example, if the two of you belonged to a writing group years ago from which you eventually drifted, get in touch with any new writing groups in town. Broaden your search to include reading groups, poets' circles, or related interests. You can visit some of the organizations and make discreet inquiries to see if someone has met your friend in another forum.

5. Visit online discussion boards and chat rooms. You may be able to find someone through "the friend of a friend" this way. Be careful not to give away too much information or anything of a personal nature, keeping inquiries low-key and confidential. Conversely, you can put up your own Website for any of several interests you might have, and perhaps your friend will one day find you!

Getting in touch with a former friend may seem like an impossible task. But when you get organized and make the rounds of possible connections, you might end up finding your long-lost soul mate!