The shy girl’s guide to sexual confidence

Want more bedroom confidence than Pammy and Paris combined? It’s all about knowing what you want and making it happen. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you out...

Step 1: Believe in yourself
The brain is the body’s largest sexual organ, so use it! “Confidence is knowing that you are desirable in a sexual way, so how you think about yourself is crucial,” says psychologist and sex therapist Dr Janet Hall. “If you act as though you’re Cameron Diaz, people will perceive that. Even the prettiest girls can be overlooked if they don’t project comfort in their own bodies.”

Step 2: Work your best asset
Figure out what your best feature is (legs, boobs or butt) and dress/position yourself to show it off. Buying some new lingerie is a great way to make yourself feel sexier. If you worry about getting down to business with the lights on, play around with dimmers or use candles to set the mood.

Step 3: Learn what you like
“Sometimes we get so caught up in his needs that we forget all about our own,” explains Dr Hall. “But you can’t lead the orchestra if you don’t know how to be a conductor!” Key word? Masturbate.

Step 4: Test your limits
If you’re shy about sex, one of the best ways to overcome that is to visit an adult shop. “Go with a friend,” suggests Dr Hall. “And make sure you buy something while you’re there!”

Step 5: Choose him carefully
If your boyfriend makes you feel uncomfortable or constantly puts you down, you’ll never feel confident enough to assert yourself in bed. If you think your partner could be part of the problem, talk to him about it. If he still doesn’t get it, ditch him.