Begin by choosing your moments. Teaching moments often occur when least expected, so be prepared. Be open to any discussion, meaning do not go off the deep end no matter what your child asks. Give a calm, honest answer. Avoid using a preachy or commanding tone.
Recognize an opportunity when it presents itself:
1) If an awkward moment you feel merits discussion occurs while watching a movie together seize the opportunity.
2) When something untoward happens in the life of one of your daughter’s friends, use it as a conversation starter.
3) If your daughter tells you about a teen pregnancy in her school, turn the conversation to prevention and reasons it is best to stay with groups when dating.
4) At a time your daughter seems receptive to conversation, ask her if she has any questions about dating or dating etiquette. If you get the eye roll, just continue on and make your point.
5) An excellent time to bring up the subject of dating and expectations is immediately after the school has studied sex education in class.
6) Books are a great way to get information into the hands of your child. Always remember to tell her to ask any questions she may have after reading the book.
7) Every parent will be pressured at one time or another to let their child date. Whether or not it is allowed, this is the perfect opportunity to discuss dating rules.
8) Any time a sibling is having trouble on the dating scene, or parents are having difficulties with an older child over the subject of dating, the younger children are watching. Use tumultuous times in your family to feed dating expectation information to the younger children, but do so without trespassing on the older child’s privacy.
9) Make your job easier by talking with your children at a young age about dating rules, etiquette, etc. You don’t have to wait until they hit the teenage years to begin discussing the subject in general terms.
10) For some children, darkness seems to bring anonymity and loosens one’s tongue. When your daughter is ready to turn the light out, sit on the edge of her bed for a “how was your day” talk. You’ll be surprised what subjects these conversations can bring about.
Mentally go over the points concerning dating that you would like to touch on with your teen in order to be prepared when you do gain her attention. Below are some ideas you might wish to consider:
1) Curfew and days of the week dates are allowed.
2) Dating etiquette and what you expect from your teen’s date i.e. cannot go until you meet the date.
3) The dreaded sex talk.
4) Discuss date rape, the part drugs play and how to stay safe.
5) Explain to your teen that she can call you at any time to come pick her up, no questions asked.
6) Dress code if you have one.
Listen and respond without passing judgment. Set your rules and stick by them. Above all, keep the lines of communication open.
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