Are My Standards For Mr. Right Too High?

Every woman has her own preference when it comes to guys dating. But are these standards useful in assuming compatibility or do they simply limit a woman's options? There are a lot of women who seem to have it all. They are pretty, interesting, and sociable, yet they are surprisingly single. The most probable reason why highly eligible women are still single is that they created a set of whimsical rules that their partners should have. Some women will only go on guys dating if the date contains the characteristics of "Mr. Right."

The typical Mr. Right is described as rich, intelligent, sweet, successful, and physically attractive. Certain women are also looking for the elusive x-factor. A lot of men can meet one or two criteria but if there is a single missing piece on the puzzle, they are rejected. There is certainly nothing wrong with this but giving the guy a second chance might be a good idea. The chemistry between individuals can also be the deal breaker. On the other hand, the guys dating may have been perfect but if beliefs about life goals, hobbies, and even religions clashes, some women inevitably rejects the guy.

Setting standards for the type of guy you should date is only right. In fact dating experts even recommend it because it enables you to stay away from jerks. But it is important to make sure that these expectations remain realistic and attainable. Otherwise, you are putting yourself up for disappointment and heartache. It is also important to realize that in guys dating or in any other situation, nobody is perfect, not even you. Setting expectations that are too high are not only unfair during guys dating, you are also limiting your prospects.

In addition, it is also important to determine how well you fit with each other despite apparent differences. Like women, a lot of guys also have a set of preferred criteria in guys dating. In most cases, both men and women will have to deal with the realization that they will never find someone who meets their unreasonable expectations during guys dating. Lowering expectations is sometimes the best course of action. Countless men and women found their perfect match by getting rid of the unrealistic requirements or Mr. or Ms. Right.

Right now, if you browse any type of dating profile, women try to "describe" their personalities accurately. And they include the list of characteristics their potential date should have in the guys dating stage. A lot of great guys might have been interested in meeting these women. However, they were turned-off by the list of qualifications. Great guys would not waste time on women who seem arrogant and difficult; you should strive to appear friendly, approachable, and nice.

Given a sea of faces in guys dating, there is inevitably at least one person who will catch your attention. Try to identify how compatible the two of you really are by looking beyond the superficial. Upon closer inspection, some people turn out to be real gems while some turn out to be the exact opposite.

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There is No Romance in Your Relationships?

Are you in a relationship where there is no romance? If so, this is no time to think about leaving; if you love the person. When there is no romance in your relationship, you must ask yourself what went wrong. For all genuine relationships to kick off there is romance involved and, it is until later in the relationship that the romance is lost. Many people who are serious do not get up and leave. There are very many people who loose the romance and, you are not the only one.

Relationships and more so marriage is a long journey that will inform you that romance is hard work. It is something that you need to revitalize and do often. There are several things that you can do to bring back the love that was once felt. The first thing is to find out whether there is a problem. This is because strife and romance cannot exist together. You need to find out what you did or what your partner did to bring you to that dry status. There are very many causes of disagreements and, funny enough, one partner might not be aware of the problem.

Burying your head in the sand will not do you any good. You need to identify your problem so that you can deal with it. You will have to sit down with your partner and, in a calm manner, try to solve your problems. If there is absolutely no romance in your relationship, take all the time you need. While talking, you need to have an open mind and be ready to forgive. Having good will in a relationship is all that matters. This way, you will be willing to do anything to make things right.

Honesty will be the best policy and, there is nothing more essential than this. You will get to examine your heart and give all you have in this regard. To deal with a state of no romance, it is crucial to make it a priority. This is because many people who are breaking up today, no longer have the good will to deal with problems in their marriage. Go back to the beginning of your relationship and try to recapture that love. You do not have to pretend but, you can learn to recreate it. Sometimes, people will find a love that is even greater than the one present in the beginning.

Once you have settled your problems, the issue of no romance has been halved. If you are on a similar page with your spouse, you will begin to talk. Talk is essential in romance. Not just the usual talk but, the talk that comes from the heart. When a man and a woman who love each other talk, there is a sense of magic that brings harmony to them. This is only the beginning.

Give yourself to romance as well as to your spouse, nature will take its course. Make sure that you resolve your troubles once they have occurred. Pilling up problems and unresolved issues is the killer in most relationships. Nobody is perfect and losing romance is not a problem unique to you. It is the willingness to recapture love that counts. Take time to be alone with the person you love. This way, you will show the world what really matters to you. Make your spouse feel special and, you will always get back the romance.

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Top 10 Cute Pick Up Lines That Will Make Her Laugh

Cute pick up lines when delivered with confidence and a smile on your face will help you look unique in her eyes and possible squeeze a laugh out of her.

Confidence is the key when delivering a cute pick up line, you can't be to serious or even worse stutter and stammer when you approach her when delivering cute pick up lines. You should maintain eye contact and also let her know with your tone that your pick up line is meant to be cheeky. With that in mind; here are the top 10 cute pick up lines:

1.) Your shoe is untied. Can I tie it for you?

2.) Have you ever had a guy follow you across the street (or into a coffeehouse, onto the Metro) because he liked your smile?

3.) Say...didn't we go to different schools at the same time?

4.) Do you have a quarter? I want to call your parents and thank them.

5.) My name is Elmo. You can tickle me anytime.

6.) You're someone I could really blog about!

7.) Were we lovers in a past life?

8.) Did you drop this? (Hold out a dollar or a pen.)

9.) I've heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy?

10.) The body is made up of 90% water and I'm thirsty.

Some of these pickup lines are funny and some don't make a lot of sense but if you deliver them right they will make her laugh provided you deliver them with a fun-spirited attitude and of course a smile on your face.

Remember if you have the right attitude, and your body language says you are confident; you can use acute pick up line or any other pick up and be successful. There is no need to make it more difficult than it is, remember she will feel flattered you made the effort to amuse her, as long as you don't do it in a creepy or desperate way.

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Transform the Top 10 Reasons You Hate Dating

Singles hate dating for many reasons but when you look closely, most dating complaints fall into the realm of Fear (and expectation). Enlightened masters have said that everything in is either Fear or Love. When we date we are trying to attract and create Love, so why is it that we all orbit around modes of Fear? I think it's to protect ourselves from getting hurt.

Below we'll review the 10 reasons you hate dating so you can transform them into ways to love yourself and others instead.

1. Rejection: You're afraid that dates won't like you. Remember that 'no' is just a word like yes. After one meeting another person does not really know you and there can be many reasons why it didn't work out. So let it go and do not reject your self in the process. Agree to love yourself and focus on something you liked about meeting that person. Then move on.

2. Job Interview: You feel like you have to promote yourself and discuss surface things. But there are NO rules in dating. You don't have to discuss your job or strive to impress. Some of the best first dates are spent trading jokes or discussing your favorite Seinfeld episodes. You will get to know each other over time, so just be your self and have fun.

3. Competition: You constantly wonder if he or she likes someone else better. It is normal to date multiple people in the beginning, until you know each other well enough to become exclusive. This is a normal part of the dating process. So this means you have to remember your own worth and know that the right partner will love you just as you are. While other people will be great, they will not be you. The same is true for the partner you'll choose.

4. Anticipation: Often women hate dating because it feels tortuous to wonder when and if he'll call. It is hard for them to enjoy the date and just go on with their lives and remain present. This is an important skill to practice. If you can love you life and yourself either way, it is a winning proposition. It is more attractive to a partner and you will be happy and even keeled either way. One way to practice this is to tell yourself that the right person will call and your job is just to remain present and happy in your own life.

5. Game-Playing: You feel at least one person is playing hard to get or sending mixed signals. There are so many dating books like 'The Rules' that suggest manipulative techniques to attract a partner. So it's possible that a date will adopt this strategy. Decide that you will be yourself on dates and will deal authentically with others. If you want to build a relationship based on honesty then act accordingly and the right mate will appreciate it.

6. Exhaustion: Dating feels like one more job! You have to get dressed up and go out after a long work day and make time to go online etc. Sometimes you do not feel like doing it. This is understandable but anything important that you want to create in life takes time and energy. If you come to dating with an attitude of fun then you can enjoy going out and meeting people.

7. Judgment: Often in dating we sit there judging ourselves and our date. We think about what is wrong with them and what they might not like about us. Shift your focus from fear to love here. Think about the great things you have to share and look for what you DO like about the other person on your date.

8. Compromise: Sometimes singles are afraid to meet someone they like because of a fear that they will have to compromise their life choices. It's true that relationships often do require some compromise because as your relationship becomes more serious, your life will include two people. Remember that the right partner will try to respect your most important needs and choices. Also, the ability to compromise means that you are loving and respectful of your partner's needs, which is a good thing.

9. Family Pressure: I often hear that singles are afraid to date because their friends and family want to know what is going on and they become disappointed when the relationship does not work out. Remember that it is your life and you only need to please yourself and be on your own timeline. Everyone is different and we cannot always control when we will meet our best partner. So let yourself off this hook and decide that you will not feed and bear your families expectations and hopes about your relationships.

10. Commitment: Sometimes singles are afraid to date because they start imagining sharing space with someone, getting married and having babies. While it's true that this is the desired trajectory for some dating singles, everyone dates for different reasons. You can choose to wade into the dating pool for fun, companionship and romance. Realize that there are different levels of commitment in dating and as long as you are honest and clear about yours, you can create whatever you want and have a terrific time meeting people!

So, do not allow your fear to guide you when dating. Begin to transform your fears into love and before you know it, you'll attract a great loving relationship!

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Parents:how to help your son after he gets a divorce

No matter the duration of a marriage, its dissolution always has an emotional impact on more than just the two people who were involved. Children experience angst at the prospect of being shuttled between two addresses. Close friends feel their loyalties tested in deciding which half they should side with or invite to holiday parties. Parents, too, experience the discomfiture of no longer having in the family picture someone to whom they had become fondly attached.

Even if you never completely warmed to your ex-daughter-in-law, however, the worst thing you can do is tell your son “I told you so” or start reciting a litany of all her faults that really annoyed you. Much as he may be inclined to agree with you, the transition period during and after a divorce is one where he will be examining his own judgment and values. The implication that you have masked your true feelings about his wife until now will run counter to the attempts he will need to make in order to learn to trust his heart again.

The following tips will assist both of you in allowing him to build that bridge and get over it.

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW
It’s hard to quell our natural curiosity when something unexpected happens to the people we love. The fact that your son’s marriage seemed like such a match made in heaven makes it that much harder to accept that they have now decided to go their separate ways. Were there signs of trouble brewing that you somehow missed? Should you have said something sooner? Was it all just a simple misunderstanding?

You can lose a lot of sleep trying to analyze their marital situation from all different angles but the reality is that you weren’t living in the skin of either one of them to really know everything that transpired. Chances are that even your son can’t sum it up in twenty-five words or less, nor should he be expected to. Continued persistence on your part will only escalate his frustration as well as make him want to spend less and less time in your company.

The bottom line is that even if you do find out the answer, it’s not going to reverse the circumstances. Having made the adult decision to get together in the first place, your son and daughter-in-law are owed the respect of being allowed to make the same kind of adult decision to separate. No questions asked.

YOU’RE A PARENT, NOT A COUNSELOR
How many conversations have you started lately with your son begin with the words, “What you really oughta do--?”
We can’t help ourselves when it comes to giving what we think is useful advice. Having been there/done that ourselves in romantic entanglements, we believe that we’re speaking from the voice of experience when we recommend the lovelorn take a long vacation, move back home, immerse oneself in hard work, etc. Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all cure for the pain of divorce.

As loving as your intentions may be, the moment you slip into your wise counselor voice you are putting your offspring on the defensive. Whether he was the one who initiated the divorce proceedings or was himself the victim of an unpleasant surprise, the last thing he needs is someone telling him what he should do next with his life. To suggest that he is incapable of making a decision undermines everything about his character that you have instilled since he was old enough to listen to you.

It also goes without saying that he knows what he needs better than you do during this juncture. Maybe it’s eating cold pizza and watching cartoons. Maybe it’s hitting the bars every night with his buddies. Maybe it’s working out at the downtown gym and taking out his anger on a punching bag. While his particular remedy of choice may not coincide with yours, people always heal faster when they have the freedom to decide what works best for their own personality and timeframe.

DON’T TRY TO GET THEM BACK TOGETHER
There’s nothing wrong with remaining friends with your son’s ex-wife. Maybe she’s a perfectly delightful young woman who filled your void of always wanting to have a daughter. Why should that bond have to be broken between the two of you if there’s a genuine affection and a lot of things in common? Insistent as your son may be that you should have nothing to do with her now that they’ve officially split, you’re within all rights to remind him that you’re old enough to choose your own companions and that she just happens to be one of them.

Just make sure, of course, that you’re keeping her close for the right reasons. If you’re secretly harboring hopes that her continued appearances everywhere he’s going to turn up will make your son smack himself in the forehead and realize what a dunce he was for letting her go, you may be waiting for a very long time. Inviting her to every family party and Sunday dinner as if nothing ever happened will only widen the rift between you and your son, especially if/when he starts dating someone new. If your ex daughter-in-law is truly as worthy a friend as you believe her to be, she will graciously bow out of the “family only” events but continue to do lunches, make movie dates, and go shopping with you.

DON’T PLAY MATCHMAKER FOR HIM
Now that he’s a single guy again, what better opportunity to introduce your son to the visiting niece of your best friend from the garden club. Maybe they’ll hit it off, go out to dinner, get engaged, and have a storybook wedding in your backyard.

Or maybe you should just let him find his own dates. For all you know, he could still be deeply pining for his ex. If he is, what woman in her right mind wants to go out with a guy who can’t stop yakking about how wonderful and perfect her predecessor was? Even worse, he could be vulnerable right now to the aggressive charms of a female who sees a rebound opportunity in the making.

If his divorce was a costly one, getting involved with someone new right away—even a potential Ms. Right— could mean that he’ll have to spend money he just doesn’t have and is too embarrassed to borrow. Have you also considered the possibility that someone new was already in the picture before the ink dried on the divorce papers and that he just hasn’t told you about her yet?

Last but not least, how many guys would seriously consider a date set up by their mothers? Such desperation smacks of taking your sister to the high school prom and knowing that no one will ever let you forget it.

DON’T INVITE HIM TO MOVE BACK HOME
Yes, he’s hurt and sad and maybe he’s even looking a little malnourished. This is not the time, however, to tell him he can move back to his old room and that you will take care of him until he’s strong enough to leave the nest again. That’s not to say you can’t have him over for dinner in the middle of the week or send him home with casseroles and cookies. Or to remind him that he’s a strong person and that you have every confidence he’s going to be all right.

Besides, if you really want him to give this marriage thing another chance sometime, how many women are going to be attracted to a man who moved back home and lets his parents do all of the work?

GIVE HIM A NIGHT OFF
If there were children by this marriage, you have even more pressure to maintain neutrality and fairness in any discussions about their mother. In joint custody situations, the kids are likely to be hearing enough negative stuff about their respective parents that they don’t need to hear more at your house. In the event your son was awarded full custody, treat him to some time to himself by offering to take the grandchildren off his hands.

Most of all, keep an open door to communications, affirming that the change in marital status has in no way changed your love and respect for who your son is as an individual.

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Those never to discuss with inlaws

Having "in-laws" means just that; you are related to a spouse's family by law, if nothing more. For some folks, that's all their relationship amounts to. But other couples enjoy each other's family.

Whatever your relationship with the in-laws, you can help to protect it and avoid potential conflict by steering conversation away from these five delicate topics:

1. Money and finances. As a general rule, avoid discussing your finances, savings, checking, budget, debt, or other money issues with your spouse's family. If there are problems, they are likely to blame you rather than their child. After all, blood is thicker than water. Plus, discussing finances with older people may appear to be a plea for help. At the very least they may be tempted to offer unwanted advice. Even if you do appreciate their counsel, if something goes wrong, bad feelings will follow. Family and finances don't mix.

2. Your spouse's flaws. Even if the spouse's family agree with you, they are apt to side with their family member. And they will not forget your criticism even when the relationship improves. While you need not cover up all problems or wrongdoing, it is better not to say too many negative things about their beloved or they may bounce back on you.

3. Child rearing practices. It is possible that the in-laws may disagree with some of your child rearing practices, including nutrition, discipline, and allowance, to name a few. While you may wish to seek their advice or respect their suggestions, you are under no obligation to follow their advice blindly. If you do not subscribe to some of their responses to your children, such as spoiling them or expecting too much in the way of grades or chores, simply avoid the topic. If they raise it, listen patiently and say, "Thanks for the advice. I'll give it some thought." However, when your kids visit their home, you can ask that certain practices be changed or eliminated:
"When Billy comes over this weekend, would you mind not swearing in front of him? We're trying to teach him to mind his tongue at school, and really appreciate your help."

4. Intimacy. Never discuss your private time with the in-laws unless you have cultivated a highly confidential relationship. In many ways, it's a bad idea. For one thing, it may be difficult for them to imagine their loved one in an intimate embrace. For another, that is part of the marriage that should not be shared with others. Your spouse may be embarrassed if his or her parents are hearing things about the romantic side of your relationship.

5. Strong personal opinions. Two topics that can easily rile people up are religion and politics. You should probably avoid discussing these with your spouse's family if you want to remain on good terms with them. Obviously there can be exceptions if you share similar views on these topics. But if not, don't try to force your views on the spouse's family or hold a grudge if they see things differently than you do. After all, the relationship is more important than an opinion.

When you married your spouse, you married the in-laws, for better and for worse. Just as you work on the marriage, put a little effort into building a positive relationship with your in-laws. Your spouse will appreciate it and everyone will live happily ever after.

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Sexual Reasons Why Your Women Will Drop You Like the Dow in 2009

Now that we are entering a new year, men and women alike are really starting to reflect on their past relationships and the sex that goes along with them. And both parties are thinking it may just be time to upgrade. And the hot word in 2008 was bailout, and that is just what your women might be thinking for 2009 if you meet one of these five criteria of a sexual failure.

1.You think foreplay comes before your entree
Nothing like beating a dead horse here, but if you continue not to understand what the word caress means, then you are doomed to be searching some online personals in 2009. Touch matters to women, not just on their vagina, but on their neck, ear lobes, the back of their knees, and right next to the corner of their eyes. These touch points are what separates the bang buddies from the Don Juans.

2.You don't know that your lover can have an orgasm through her breasts
Yep, it's a fact, women can and do have breast orgasms. And they can be more intense than any clitoral show you can put on. And, the most important thing about these orgasms is that they release a chemical known as oxytocin that makes your women feel close to you and bonds her to you. This is probably released during breast feeding to make a mother feel close to her baby, but if you use it to your advantage you can really score big.

3. You are so out of shape that you last as long as ice cream in hell
If you are in poor cardiovascular shape, you will last significantly less time then if you you did some running or treadmill work. You may think this is nonsense, but it is not. The heart is weak when you're out of shape and it can't pump blood to the penis and the brain in equal shares. If your out of shape and you start a wild sex session, the heart sends the majority of blood to brain first and penis last. And you will get softer erections and not last long at all. Certainly grounds for the girlfriend to start looking.

4. You have a fake vagina in your closet
You guys know who you are, and you need to get rid of that thing immediately. With the invention of the internet and silicon, came some pretty amazing sex toys. I can understand your excitement, women got some pretty nice stuff too, but you have to get rid of these things. Why, you might be saying, that thing is awesome. Well, because to women it is gross, because we know that you probably don't clean it on a regular basis and because it is still just weird.

5.You think your penis is too small and you keep asking us about it
Just like you guys hate when we ask you if we look fat in our clothes, or if our butt looks big, we hate when you ask if your penis is too small. And then we say, no really it's not, and then you ask us ten minutes later, are you sure it's not. Stop asking, or do something about it. Because if you keep asking or get depressed about it too much, we will just look for a guy who doesn't have an issue with it.

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When meeting a girlfriends parents

As many of us discover in our first years of dating, there are certain events which seem to mark the evolution of a relationship. A casual dating situation becomes a little more serious and the couple might stop seeing other people. As that exclusive relationship progresses, discussions may turn to the future- thoughts on marriage or children or careers. At this point, your girlfriend may feel comfortable enough to actually invite you home to meet her parents. The sound you're now hearing is a thousand male tires screeching to a halt.

Meeting her parents for the first time does not have to resemble all of those sitcom and movie storylines about disastrous first impressions. If you can keep your wits about you, meeting her parents can actually turn out to be a very enlightening experience. If you ever want to understand how someone's mind truly works, just visit her childhood home for two hours.

First of all, it's important to understand the significance of this first meeting from her point of view. A girl of dating age spends most of her time separating promising princes from disappointing frogs. Part of that decision-making process is rooted in her own upbringing and family dynamic. Nobody understands better than she does how important it is to bring home a decent prospect. She knows the level of scrutiny a boyfriend might face, and she also understands the reasons behind that scrutiny. If you've been invited to meet your girlfriend's parents, appreciate the gesture for the significant event it is.

If you find yourself wearing your cleanest shirt and standing nervously outside your girlfriend's parent's door, keep the following tips in mind:

1. Forewarned is forearmed.
Long before the actual meeting; try to find out as much about her parents as you can. Ask her if they are sensitive about certain topics, such as religion or alcohol or politics. Do they have interesting careers or hobbies? Are they liberal or conservative? What sort of entertainment do they prefer? Would they find any of my own personality traits offensive (language, clothing, image)? The more you can learn from your girlfriend, the less likely you are to offend her parents unknowingly.

2. Key off your girlfriend's behavior.
Meeting near-strangers is already difficult, so it helps to follow the lead of someone who knows them much better. Keep an eye on her demeanor around her parents- is she completely at ease, slightly formal or seized with fear? There's almost always an exaggeration of personality during awkward events, but the way she's behaving should be a clue for your own. Most parents are usually easygoing with their children's significant others, because they truly value their child's happiness. If you're making their daughter happy, you've won half the battle.

3. Dress for success, but not necessarily for a wedding.
A clean appearance can make a good first impression, but try to find a balance between your own style and a more formal one. It's better to present yourself as someone who is comfortable in his own skin, not trying too hard to be presentable. Leave the t-shirts and worn jeans at home, obviously, but dress at the same level as your girlfriend. Try not to accessorize with anything controversial- no earrings, body piercings or provocative hairstyles. Even if her parents understand their daughter's alternative lifestyle or artistic flair, a first meeting does call for general understatement.

4. You will be under scrutiny, so avoid going over the top.
Remember that her parents are also people who have never met you before this particular evening. They may not understand your sense of humor or tastes in music or opinion on political issues. This is not the time to demonstrate all three at once. Even if a strong personality is your strong suit elsewhere, this first meeting is not an audition for an improv group. Demonstrate your ability to match your personality to the situation at hand. One of your girlfriend's unspoken fears is being embarrassed by your unchecked behavior. Allow the conversations to flow naturally and insert just enough of your personality to let her parents get a favorable impression.

5. Don't worry if the first meeting does not go well.
Parents and their children often have conflicts when it comes to dating. Parents look for different qualities in a prospective son-in-law than your girlfriend might. Parents tend to look towards the future- a promising career, emotional stability, and long-term goals. Their child (your girlfriend) may be more attracted to physical traits or an irreverent sense of humor. When these two camps collide during your first meeting with her parents, you may feel caught between them.

It's important not to create more tension if the first meeting takes a bad turn. Instead, concentrate on strengthening your relationship with your girlfriend and plan a new visit with her parents when some time has passed.

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Couples spend time together --how much is too much?

In order to get at the meat of this relationship question, it might pay to turn it around for a moment. Is there such a thing as unhealthy time spent together? For most couples, the answer is yes. There is a distinct line between time spent beneficially and time which can actually cause bad feelings and discord. But where is that line, and how can one partner know if that line has indeed been crossed? This is where open communication becomes essential.

Time spent together as a couple should be beneficial to both. Couples just starting a new relationship may want to spend every spare minute together, which may sound unhealthy to outsiders but both are getting and receiving the intimacy they crave. As long as you and your partner feel this bond growing stronger, the linear time spent together should be viewed as healthy or unhealthy.

There's a lot going on during those first few weeks or months of a romantic relationship, so society's rules rarely apply. Don't be afraid to spend as much time together as possible during the earliest stages of a promising relationship.

As the relationship begins to take shape, however, it may be a good time to examine the effect it's having on your own personal life. Are you still meeting your other responsibilities-work, school, sleep? Are you maintaining your ties to family and friends? If you notice a definite and negative change in your daily routine, you may be spending too much time with your partner and not leaving enough time for yourself.

One of the hardest things to do in a new relationship is manage your time together wisely, but that's what needs to happen in order to maintain your own emotional and physical well-being. Whether it is a formal date or a casual visit, someone has to determine when it's time to part ways. It may not always be a mutual decision, but a time boundary must be established early in the relationship.

Here are some things to consider when spending healthy time together:
1. Work and school obligations. As exciting as it may be to spend all night talking on the phone with your new partner, both of you have places to be in the morning. Assume a fair amount of time for sleep and agree to wrap up late-night conversations by that time. There will be plenty of opportunities to catch up on the latest news, but your bosses and teachers may expect your full and undivided attention. Sleep deprivation, no matter how exciting the cause, will eventually take its toll on your body and mind.

2. Family and friends. Everyone in a new relationship wants to find acceptance (or at least tolerance) among family and friends, and for the most part they usually find it. Friends may want to spend quality time with the newly-formed couple and family members may want to scrutinize this new significant other. Time spent together may mean time spent with each other's social and familial circles. If these new connections are mutually satisfying, then the time spent together is healthy. But sometimes people just don't mesh well with certain other people. Spending an uncomfortable amount of time around your partner's boorish or immature 'best friend' may lead to a build-up of resentment. Your partner may also feel uncomfortable around one of your more eccentric relatives. You need to know when to make a graceful exit from family and friends.

3. Personal identity. Most healthy relationships are seen as a meshing of two individual personalities. It is important to spend enough time alone to pursue your own goals. If you feel yourself getting losing your own identity in a relationship, it may be a sign of unhealthy time spent together. Both partners should recognize that time spent apart can help the relationship grow, not cause it to wither from inattention. Shared hobbies and interests are great things on which to build a relationship, but a partner shouldn't feel like his or her time has been wasted on the sidelines. It's okay to miss an occasional game or convention or competition. Supporting your partner's interests is healthy, but resenting your time spent in the bleachers is not.

4. Partner's comfort zone. Many of us can become oblivious to the feelings of those around us. We fail to read the obvious signs of discomfort or boredom or distraction. People may want to be polite, but at some point in the day they will become 'peopled out'. It's important to understand that a romantic partner may have had a difficult day at work or be under stress. A healthy amount of time spent together often means knowing when it might be better to leave. Sometimes a partner may want to talk about his or her problems, but sometimes he or she is really seeking solitude. If you have open communication, it might pay to ask your partner directly if he or she would rather be alone, rather than remain in their personal space too long and cause an unspoken tension.

There may come a point in your relationship where time spent together becomes more significant. You may not spend as much linear time together as you once did, but you're more in tune with your partner's needs. An early relationship may suffer from too much time spent together, but often a mature relationship suffers from a lack of time spent together. You need to find a good balance which strengthens the connection without sacrificing either partner's sense of self.

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Make a Guy Jealous - 3 Steps to Make Him Cherish You More Than Ever Before

Lover's rejection, break up or even a divorce! You have hated him, ignored him and even deleted his number from your cell phone. But his memory, his laughter, his touch, everything gets back to you, as soon as you close your eyes. Only if, he too cared the same way! Only if, he had not dumped you! But dear, life already is filled with so many ifs and butts! So, what should you do now? Try new guys or have your prince charming back in your arms? Well, if you chose the later one, it's definitely important to strike back and emerge the hottest news in your town. Well, if you still can't frame such a mind-blowing advent, you can at least make him jealous and crave for you, as he never ever did!

Here are 3 tricks to make your man, desperately jealous for you! Sounds exciting, so do read on! But then, use them only on those guys, who, at least, have some soft corner for you. In case, you are not sure regarding his feelings, something which is bound to happen, you can still use these tricks. After all, you are not going to loose anything in the end!

• Do not cry

To start with, stop being a cry baby. Donot plead, donot beg, donot reveal! The more you run after your guy, the more are you running away from him. Give him space, peace and in the meantime, flirt with his male friends. Let him know how important they are in your life. Cherish their chats, their conversations and their gestures. You man should feel the vacuum, the hollowness of your absence in his life. Donot initiate the conversation with him, until he seems interested. If, initially he doesn't start, you can give him a little attention. But remember; be always in your limits.

• Be Busy

Be busy. Try getting him out of your mind. Make him show that you are engrossed in different things, be it texting friends, talking on phone or staying online, late nights. Always remember, when you miss your guy, just hold on-it's merely because, you have time to do so. Let him question why you are so engaged and so busy? If he ever questions you, try ignoring it, move on to the next subject and create suspense! Believe me; guys are more drawn to suspense in a woman, rather then her mere looks.

• Change yourself

Change yourself and startle him. Try being a different human. Have some time for yourself. Go to gym, have a facial done and learn a new sport. May be, he turns a bit uneasy when he sees you going out with your male friend for a gym or sports class. It can be he might turn jealous and even wont mind coming to pick you up from your classes. So, that he can at least have a check on you.

Ultimately, he has to accept that your life does not revolve around him anymore. If, he had been rejoicing at you mourning for his return, he will definitely feel shocked and above all, be jealous. Make him feel insignificant in your life. Be happy, relaxed and enjoy your life being single. Do not be available for him, all the time. Let him sweat and search for you.

But, at the same time, be cautious in this game. Do not let it be too hard on him. Give it a break, if your guy is turning out to be violent, obsessive or mean. Though, everything is fair in love and war, what matters more is his presence in your life.

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Is your man too controlling?

Relationships take a lot of hard work and commitment. There are times when we feel less in love and we wonder why. In the natural flow of any relationship there are times when one partner may feel less in love than the other person. Most relationships rebound and continue to grow and flourish. The time to worry is when you find yourself feeling less and less enthusiastic, withdrawn, and lonely. Many problems can cause this, such as cheating, abuse, and a general loss of affection.

A big problem some couples face is one partner trying to control the other. In some cases it takes a while for a wife to realize that she is being controlled. The man has no idea that his actions are hurting his wife. He often reacts to her thoughts with sarcasm and degradation without realizing the impact this will have on her.

A controlling man will exert control over many areas of his wife's life. He may take control of the finances and demand his wife report to him about each dollar she spends. He will give her money for the bills and demand receipts. She may find herself asking permission to shop for things such as clothes and personal needs.

He may also attempt to control her personal life. He may discourage or even forbid her from going places on her own. Going out with friends or on vacations by herself are out of the question. If she does go, he may spend a large amount of time and energy making her feel guilty about it. This is an attempt to curb her behavior in the future. This may also extend to her family. He may try to limit the time she spends with them and stifle the influence they may have on her. She may find him trying to listen to her phone calls and reading her mail. He may try to access her email account and look through the files on the computer to see what websites she may have visited.

A controlling man may also discourage his partner from bettering her life. Things such as hobbies, higher education, or a new job may be threatening to him. Very often he will try to sway her way of thinking so that it matches his own. He may make her feel as if her ideas and thoughts are useless and inferior. This can leave her feeling as if she is in a parent and child relationship rather than a healthy adult partnership.

Controlling men usually do not realize they are doing something wrong. They feel their actions are justifiable and normal. Often they are subconsciously trying to bind their partner to them so that they will never leave.

Issues in his life that happened long before the couple met are usually at the root of the problem. Most controllers suffer from low self-esteem. Though this has nothing to do with their partner, they will project this attitude onto their wife. They feel if they can control her in some way, or change her way of living or thinking, that they are more important. They then feel better about themselves. They may have been involved with a person in the past that was unfaithful. This leads them to believe that if they keep tabs on their current partner and keep her with them at all times, she will not hurt them in the same way. A controlling person also fears abandonment. If she becomes dependent on him for everything, he thinks she will never leave him.

In a healthy relationship both partners respect each other's personal space and each other's ideas. They encourage each other to grow and to expand their horizons. A good relationship requires closeness as well as freedom to be yourself. Remember that women can also be controlling. If you are considering marriage to someone that shows signs of having control issues, remember that marriage will not fix this problem; it will only make it worse. Your partner may change, but it is something they have to do for themselves. Make it known that you will not be controlled and try to encourage your partner to seek counseling.

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How to talk to your teen about sex

In today’s society, children are bombarded with sexual overtones and innuendos. Music, magazines, the Internet, movies, sitcoms, and even television commercials are filled with sexual images. Because of this, children are discovering sex at much younger ages than in the past. Often, parents are their last source of information. By the time a parent actually talks to a child about sex, the child may already be well versed on the topic.

How and when should you talk to your child about sex? Ideally, your child will come to you with questions as her curiosity grows. Typically, though, this is not the case. Instead of coming to you, your child will probably seek out and listen to her friends.

Unfortunately, she may not get the adequate information she so desperately needs. Because your child may be too embarrassed to come to you, you will have to go to her.

You should have already talked to your child about how her body will change as she approaches puberty. Explain to her about all of the changes she can expect. This holds true for boys, too. As you talk about the changes that will occur, you need to go ahead and explain why these changes are happening. If you are unsure about how to approach the topic, there are several wonderful videos that you and your child can watch together. You can also buy some books that deal with discussing sex with your child.

Talk to your child about why it is necessary that her body changes. While some parents like to use animals as an example (thus, the term “birds and bees”), but you really need to stick to humans to give her the full idea. If your child is a girl, you’ll need to cover topics like menstruation, body hair, and breast development. If your child is a boy, you can talk to him about body hair, facial hair, and voice changes.

Explain to your child that her interest in the opposite sex will probably increase as she enters into the volatile period of puberty. Talk to him about how his body will experience certain sexual urges that may be confusing. Explain that this is perfectly normal and natural, and that he shouldn’t be embarrassed.

As you talk to your child, try to keep your tone as matter-of-fact as possible. Do your best to keep any embarrassment you might be feeling hidden from your child. You want your child to feel comfortable talking to you, so that if he ever has a question about a sexual issue, he can come to you. Talk to him just as if you were talking about any other normal topic. Don’t treat this topic as something that should be whispered, hidden, or avoided.

Once you have covered topics such as menstruation, puberty, and reproduction, it is just as important that you talk about the serious consequences that can happen because of sex, such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Your child should understand that sex is a serious issue. If you are seriously concerned that your child may be contemplating becoming sexually active, you may have to be more graphic by using images in videos and books. You may also want to schedule a doctor’s appointment, and ask your doctor to talk to your child about the consequences of sex.

While you obviously want to keep your child as innocent as you can for as long as possible, you need to keep in mind that if you don’t tell her about sex, someone else eventually will, and you may not like the version they give her. Once you have decided that it is time to educate your child, make it as easy as possible on you and her. Initiate the conversation while the two of you are spending time together. Take a bike ride, or go on a hike. It may be easier for her to talk to you if she doesn’t have to sit down and talk face to face. Try to keep the atmosphere lighthearted. Stress to her that you are always there for her to talk to.

If you begin talking to your child while she is still young and fairly naïve, you may be able to keep the lines of communication open as she matures. If you do find out that your child has become sexually active, think before you react. She will need you to do the right thing now more than ever. Above all, let her know that you love her. You can’t stop your child from having sex, but you can arm her with the knowledge that she needs to make an informed decision.

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Discussing dating with teenage daughters--parents should know

Dating is the last thing most teens want to discuss with their parents. So how do parents introduce the subject and actually get their offspring to lend an ear?

Begin by choosing your moments. Teaching moments often occur when least expected, so be prepared. Be open to any discussion, meaning do not go off the deep end no matter what your child asks. Give a calm, honest answer. Avoid using a preachy or commanding tone.
Recognize an opportunity when it presents itself:
1) If an awkward moment you feel merits discussion occurs while watching a movie together seize the opportunity.

2) When something untoward happens in the life of one of your daughter’s friends, use it as a conversation starter.

3) If your daughter tells you about a teen pregnancy in her school, turn the conversation to prevention and reasons it is best to stay with groups when dating.

4) At a time your daughter seems receptive to conversation, ask her if she has any questions about dating or dating etiquette. If you get the eye roll, just continue on and make your point.

5) An excellent time to bring up the subject of dating and expectations is immediately after the school has studied sex education in class.

6) Books are a great way to get information into the hands of your child. Always remember to tell her to ask any questions she may have after reading the book.

7) Every parent will be pressured at one time or another to let their child date. Whether or not it is allowed, this is the perfect opportunity to discuss dating rules.

8) Any time a sibling is having trouble on the dating scene, or parents are having difficulties with an older child over the subject of dating, the younger children are watching. Use tumultuous times in your family to feed dating expectation information to the younger children, but do so without trespassing on the older child’s privacy.

9) Make your job easier by talking with your children at a young age about dating rules, etiquette, etc. You don’t have to wait until they hit the teenage years to begin discussing the subject in general terms.

10) For some children, darkness seems to bring anonymity and loosens one’s tongue. When your daughter is ready to turn the light out, sit on the edge of her bed for a “how was your day” talk. You’ll be surprised what subjects these conversations can bring about.

Mentally go over the points concerning dating that you would like to touch on with your teen in order to be prepared when you do gain her attention. Below are some ideas you might wish to consider:
1) Curfew and days of the week dates are allowed.

2) Dating etiquette and what you expect from your teen’s date i.e. cannot go until you meet the date.

3) The dreaded sex talk.

4) Discuss date rape, the part drugs play and how to stay safe.

5) Explain to your teen that she can call you at any time to come pick her up, no questions asked.
6) Dress code if you have one.

Listen and respond without passing judgment. Set your rules and stick by them. Above all, keep the lines of communication open.

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Picking the perfect name for your baby

Some may say that the actual pregnancy is the most difficult part of having a baby. Still others may say that the actual delivery is the most stressful. But many couples will agree that some of the more stressful times and some of the worst arguments happened when discussing what to actually NAME the baby.
If you think about it, a baby’s name is his or her primary source of identification for their entire life. Sure it can be fun thinking of baby names, but always keep in mind that, while your baby may not mind now, she may not think it’s so cute one day that you named her Nestle because you love chocolate so much.

* Try not to go too trendy. Sure Ashton Kutcher and Ashlee Simpson are popular now and can be seen in every single television show and entertainment magazine on the newsstand, but, trust me, you are not the first person to think of naming your new baby after them. In a few years time, I wouldn’t be surprised if every single boy in your child’s kindergarten class was named Ashton and every girl was named Britney or Beyonce.

* Look at your family tree. You will be surprised when you talk to relatives and find out your’s and your spouse’s family history and the names of distant relatives. You may come up with a real gem or a variation on an old family name. Maybe you have an aunt that practically raised you. You could name your baby girl a variation of that name to honor her. This will give your child’s name a sentimental feel to it.

* Ask your family and friends for suggestions. This tip almost doesn’t even need to be said as the second you start letting people know you’re pregnant, the name advice will come flooding in. You will get names from the most common to the most obscure variation. People will suggest typical names spelled differently or names they wished they had used on their own children. Take these pieces of advice and make a list of all of those that you didn’t automatically say, “Eww!” to when you heard them.

* Pick up some of those ever-present baby name books. You see these little baby books everywhere you go, from the bookstore to the checkout stand. Suck it up and just get one of these books and pore over it with your spouse. You never know what names might pop out at you.

* Research cultural names. Maybe you’re one-quarter Italian or perhaps your great-grandmother was Spanish. Get on the internet and research some Italian or Spanish names. Sometimes you will see a name that you have never even heard of that sounds beautiful to you. This will allow your child to honor her own cultural background and maybe spark some interest in her when she is older to research her family’s history.

* Weird names are cute, but don’t get too crazy.Sure the entire Phoenix family has names like Rain and River and Leaf. It worked out great now that they are all movie stars. However, keep in mind that while the name sounds good to you now, how will it sound in a few years? Keep in mind that your baby will grow into a child that starts to attend elementary school and eventually college. While Rainbow or Scooter may sound like beautiful or cute names for a baby, think of how it will sound to your child as they get older and start to form a name for themselves.

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what to do and say to support a grieving friend

People are stunned when someone they care about loses a loved one and they rarely know what to do or say for them. Here are some ideas of what to do and say to comfort your friends who are suffering with grief.

When someone dies friends and family all come together to comfort each other. It’s hard to know what to do or say but we instinctively know that the act of coming together is important. But what do you really say to someone you know who has lost a loved one? Some people are so unsure of what to say they avoid the funeral and their friend all together, leaving the person who is suffering from grief bewildered by the fact that their friend seems to have abandoned them.

What people need to know is that the simple act of being there is tremendous comfort to the grieving person. You don’t need to say anything magical, sometimes you don’t even need to talk at all. Listening to someone talk about how much they miss their loved one or listening to a story about the deceased is often just what is needed. Allowing that person get out what they have been keeping inside is a wonderful gift.

At first people are good about visiting you when you lose someone in your family. They bring their casserole over to the house and send flowers. They attend the funeral and for days, even weeks they come by to visit and just see how you are doing. However, the visits taper off and the left behind often find themselves very alone. About a year after the death is when the widow or widower feels the full effect of their loss and they have to face a new life without them. That’s also the time that many visitors stop coming by. It’s difficult to start over but it can be even more difficult when friends stop visiting.

It’s at about this time that people, although they still miss their friends, get back into their normal routines and forget to visit the widow or widower. Losing someone in your immediate family isn’t the same as losing an aunt, a grandma or a friend. The initial shock and loss may by the same, but you can go back to your normal routine. The widow or widower can’t. You may miss them at the holidays or at family reunions, but your daily routine won’t change. For the widow or widower it is very different. Someone that was with them every single day is now gone and they have to find a new life on their own. It can be very quiet and lonely. If friends remember to keep in contact with their friends who have lost someone it can ease the pain of loneliness somewhat.

There are other things you can do besides just visiting. For a child who has lost a parent you can take them out to a movie to give the surviving parent some time to himself or herself. You could also take a child shopping for a holiday present or birthday present for their remaining parent.

That could be a big relief for the child since they often have no way to go shopping by themselves and they may have little money to spend. It’s hard for a child to have no way to buy their mother a birthday present or make sure their father has presents under the Christmas tree. This is when a mentor could make a huge difference in a child’s’ life.

Encouraging a widow or widower to start dating may not be in their best interest. Grieving is a long process and is different for everyone. Just because you think it is time they get out into the dating world again doesn’t mean that it is the right time for them. Instead ask them over to your house for dinner, or shopping at the mall or a movie. Socializing is great, don’t let your friend lock themselves up in their house but don’t push them into dating. Let them decide when it is time to look again for love.

The most important thing to remember is to be there for your friend or loved one. Asking what they need may or may not help since they could still be in shock, but often they will come up with something you can do to help out. Be a loving, gentle, patient friend and that itself will go a long way.

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Decide to live together??

Is cohabitation a good idea or way to prepare for marriage? Before you commit to living together, here are some things to consider and plan for.

Forty years ago, the idea of living together without benefit of marriage was one of those concepts that only “bad” people or free-spirited (translate: irresponsible) artists engaged in. To this day, I still recall how my parents cut off their burgeoning friendship with a next door neighbor when they discovered that he was only “shacking up” with the woman whom they assumed was his wife.

Even couples who opted to cohabitate prior to an upcoming wedding date were regarded with a raised brow of suspicion. After all, once both parties had moved their respective belongings under one roof, what would stop either one from requesting a postponement that could conceivably drag on for years? My mother’s admonition that “there’s no sense in buying a cow when you’re getting milk for free” was consistent with her generation’s mindset that marriage was the only acceptable contract for two people who wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.

As the country’s divorce rate began to escalate, however, more and more couples warmed to the idea of rehearsing their compatibility prior to a walk down the aisle. The rationale of seeing each other 24/7 in the best and worst of circumstances is intended to preclude the discovery of unpleasant surprises the significant other managed to keep secret during the courtship phase. While it’s certainly cheaper to hire a moving van than a lawyer if the relationship turns sour, the following considerations should be taken into account before you put both of your names on that lease.

Have you set a wedding date already? With everything else you have to think about during the planning stages, orchestrating a move on top of it may be more stress than the two of you can reasonably handle. Even though it’s a given that your stuff will be co-mingled after the honeymoon, there’s a big difference between the two of you moving to a brand new place and one of you moving into the other’s current abode. Territorial issues and matters of personal taste can take on larger proportions when you’re also in the midst of juggling dates and times for a reception hall, interviewing caterers and trying to figure out who’s going to get elderly Aunt Agnes to the church.

On the plus side, of course, is the money you’re saving on the rental of a second residence and the excitement of setting up your first household together. Because you are under the same roof, you’re also going to be more sensitive to each other’s moods than if you were simply talking on the phone several times a day or continuing to be “up” for ongoing dates. The ability to compromise will be introduced to the equation as well, laying a foundation for the resolution of disputes that will inevitably arise throughout your married life. This further applies to the management of joint incomes, the relationships with family and friends, and the division of labor pertinent to indoor and outdoor chores.

Is one of you ready to take the plunge but the other’s not so sure? Living together is often served up as an excuse to lock down a relationship that might otherwise wander off in search of better company. “If we’re recognized as a cohabitating couple,” one of the partners thinks, “I won’t have to worry about him or her being hit on by someone else.” The reality, of course, is that neither the presence nor absence of a wedding ring has stopped anyone from cheating if it’s something that they really want to do.

One of the strongest arguments that is made against the idea of living together is the fact that it has about as much—if not less—permanence as a monthly rental agreement. If you’re dissatisfied with how your landlord is maintaining the property, you have two options. You can either insist that the problems be fixed or give 30 days’ notice and start combing the want ads for someplace new. When the “maintenance” question is one involving emotional issues, however, there will always be greater pressure on half of the partnership to ensure that the other half’s needs are being sufficiently met in order to keep them happy. Suffice it to say, the burden will invariably be on the one who is pressing for a long-term commitment and not the one who’s “just thinking it over.”

What if both of you are gun-shy when it comes to wedding vows? Perhaps you like each other’s companionship and can’t imagine ever being with anyone else. On the other hand, maybe you’ve both been burned by prior relationships and deem marriage a curse that could ruin a perfectly lovely friendship. If you’re both steadfast in this belief, there’s nothing wrong with combining resources and being a live-in couple. Where matters get sticky, of course, is if you decide you want to have children or if one of you should become the victim of a life-threatening scenario in which the partner is powerless to make decisions on his or her behalf.

Unlike a marriage, a domestic partnership—regardless of its duration—could also strip a surviving partner of health, retirement and inheritance benefits that would otherwise legally be theirs. These questions need to be addressed at the outset to the satisfaction of both parties rather than simply left to chance as time goes by.

On a final note, living together has become an increasingly complex problem for senior citizens. Not only are they of an era that frowned on such arrangements but they are further saddled with the censure of their own children and grandchildren who believe that they should choose propriety over companionship. In addition, there are economic and tax considerations that enter into the mix. While sharing the same house or apartment seems a logical first step toward matrimony and filing joint tax returns, remarriage for a widow or divorcee could also impact the ongoing receipt of retirement pensions, Social Security and alimony checks. Many seniors are encumbered as well by having spouses who are still alive but living in institutions as a result of Alzheimer’s, dementia, cancer, etc. Since divorce and waiting-it-out are not viable options for those in advanced years, it becomes a matter of informing family and friends that day to day happiness with a live-in companion is a higher priority than catering to the morality standards of outside parties.

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Sharing a bed with an insomniac or snorer

Are you sharing a bed with an insomniac or snorer? Both of these sleep problems can cause you and your partner nights filled with tension and of course, lack of needed rest. When a person suffers from insomnia, it is hard for him or her to fall asleep. Sometimes they can lay awake for hours before falling asleep, or worse, may stay awake all night.

If this sleeplessness is disrupting your ability to rest peacefully as well, there are some helpful tips your partner can try that might provide a good night’s sleep for both of you.

Taking a warm bath before bedtime may help reduce insomnia. Add some calming bubble bath to soothe away all of his or her stress from the day.

Your partner needs to avoid caffeine, alcohol and tobacco a couple of hours before going to bed. These all can prolong wakefulness.

Keeping a regular bedtime schedule can also promote sleep. Going to bed around the same time each night will be a routine your partner’s body will get used to over time and should help induce a sleep filled night.

A bed that is firm can also help with sleep. If it is too soft, it could cause restlessness in a person and keep them from finding a comfortable position, thus preventing sleep.

Eating a light bedtime snack or drinking herbal tea could also work to induce sleep. And your partner should never go to bed hungry. An empty stomach will always demand attention, which will take away from focusing on sleep.

Try keeping the bedroom dark and completely free of noise to help your partner fall asleep easier. This will help you sleep better, too.

The bed should also be used only for sleeping. Don’t let your partner spread out paperwork from his or her office and set up the laptop on the bed to catch up on work. The same goes for watching television. Both of these things will cause the bed to be viewed as a place of activity or stress, not sleep.

If the person you share a bed with has a problem with snoring, he or she may be getting sleep but you are the one suffering from a less than restful night. Of course, even though the snorer seems to be sleeping, he or she may not be getting the appropriate rest they need either.

Twenty-five percent of adults snore every night. It is a very common sleep problem that the snorer can’t control. Some even deny they snore at all.

Snoring is caused when the flow of air through the mouth and nose passages becomes blocked, resulting in the noisy sound coming from your partner’s mouth. Try rolling your partner onto his or her side to eliminate or at least lessen the snoring. Sleeping on the back seems to make snoring worse.

Sometimes it can help if you go to bed before your partner. If you can fall asleep before he or she climbs into bed and starts snoring, there is a chance you won’t even hear anything because you are deeply asleep. Now, if you are a very light sleeper this may not work, especially if the snoring is very loud.

There are a lot of self proclaimed cures for snoring but most of them prevent snoring by keeping a person awake. This would not be helpful since it could promote insomnia.

Fortunately, your partner can’t suffer from insomnia and snoring at the same time unless each sleep problem happens at different intervals of the night. If so, seeing a doctor may be the next step to take. A doctor may have advice on both sleep problems that could help you and your insomniac or snorer get some much needed rest.

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Surprises your lady will adore

Whether your budget is small or even practically non-existent, you can give the special lady in your life romantic and meaningful gifts that she will always treasure and remember. Some will cost very little, and some are completely free. Here are ten gifts that most women will always enjoy receiving.

The first thing that is important to remember is that it doesn't need to be Valentine's Day or her birthday to give a gift and let her know that you care. Any day of the year can be turned into a day to give a loving gift.

1. One gift that will not have a price tag attached, but will be highly appreciated is the gift of time. Give her an entire day of your time and ask what she would like to do with that time. It may be hiking or going to the beach, but you may find out that the way she would best enjoy spending that gift of time is to just spend the day together at home getting to know you better.

2. When planning that surprise for her, do not overlook the old "romantic standbys" of candy and flowers, but instead of waiting for an anniversary or birthday, just do it because you think she's special (and tell her that!) If the budget will not allow roses, any florist will have other kinds of arrangements that will cost much less, so you may want to look into other options instead of the more traditional "dozen roses."

3. Is she fun-loving? If your lady enjoys games and laughs, try setting up a treasure hunt for her. Give her the first clue that you have written on a slip of paper, and have her follow the clues you creatively give to get to the next clue, until she eventually finds her gift. Don't have the clues going on for too very long, however, because even the most fun kinds of games can get tiring if they drag on for too long.

4. If children are involved in your relationship, one of the nicest gifts to give her is some private time while you take over watching the kids. This one may not sound like a romantic gift at first, but you can make sure to plan it so that it turns out that way. For instance, what if her private time involves an hour of soaking in a bubble bath that you have drawn for her at just the right temperature? Add a few scented candles to the room. Add a boom box (battery operated, please, because of the hazard risk of electricity and water) playing her favorite, or perhaps a brand new CD, or a new book of poetry if she enjoys reading.
You might even choose to go as far as sprinkling some rose petals into the water. It goes without saying to make sure the children use the bathroom (if there is only one) before her bubble soak starts so that she will not be disturbed.

5. Many men, unfortunately, will refuse to do something that a lot of women think is very romantic, and that is writing a love poem for her. It doesn't need to be William Shakespeare and it doesn't even need to rhyme for it to be something that she will always treasure. Just write down thoughts from your heart concerning how you feel about her and try to fit them into poetry form and you have a priceless gift for her. Use nice stationary and present the poem or written thoughts to her with a little teddy bear holding the paper.

6. Another idea for a day of pampering is to plan for her to spend some time at a spa or beauty salon where she may not generally feel comfortable about spending the money to visit. Make sure she gets as much of "the works" as you can afford, including things like a manicure if she would enjoy it.

7. Choose a Saturday or Sunday and spoil your lady for the day. Arrange so that she will not need to worry about chores like cooking or cleaning. If the budget allows, call out for food or have a maid service come in for just this one time. If food delivery or a maid service for the day is too extravagant for the wallet, consider cooking a meal for her yourself or even dusting and running the vacuum. If this surprise is one you choose, don't forget to add the dish washing to the gift!

8. Tell her how you feel about her. That means true feelings. If she has made a huge difference in your life in some particular way, tell her that. If she is the first thought on your mind in the morning and the last thought before you drift off to sleep at night, she would absolutely love to hear that. It is important to say those three little words of "I love you" often, but sometimes it's nice to explain some of the reasons why you love her.

9. Rent a few movies that you know she would like and don't forget the popcorn and soda for your "theater evening." The thing that would make this a true gift for her is to let her choose the movies. Take the time to watch them with her, even if you would normally consider them "chick flicks." Let her get emotional and share that with you.

10. Last but certainly not least, and if the budget allows, arrange a weekend getaway for the two of you. Make all the plans, secure the reservations, and be sure to keep the destination a secret. Whether it's a short plane flight to your location, or a short or longer drive, she will find out the mystery destination when you arrive. Be practical, however, in letting her know if she will need any particular items of clothing for possible weather changes so that she will be able to pack properly. Even a trip to the mountains in the summertime might be a reason to tell her to throw a sweater in her suitcase. Know ahead of time which restaurants are in the area and choose your dining spots. She will have nothing to do except to enjoy the mystery weekend.

Remember that often the best gifts that mean the most are those that do not involve superficial things, or the spending of any money at all. Try to think of some meaningful "time" gifts to give her and your surprise will most likely be a huge hit.

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how to impress your in-laws

When you get married, you gain a second family: the in-laws. Regardless of the negative stigma that in-laws have gotten over the years, these people are usually wonderful. After all, your husband's parents raised him to be the amazing man who you fell in love with and decided to spend the rest of your life with. You will probably find that his core values were established in his upbringing. Still, impressing the in-laws can be a daunting challenge. You want to project the best possible image of yourself because you want them to understand why their son loves you as much as he does.
You know that his family will be a major part of your life now -- and you don't want to do anything to give them a bad impression of you. When you are really nervous and anxious about how you will be perceived, you tend to act less like yourself, and you can seem stiff and uncomfortable or unapproachable. It's almost like a job interview -- you are so tense that you can't be as friendly or funny as you normally are.
The best way to combat the in-law jitters is to be confident that you are prepared to impress them. It might seem strange to prepare for this type of thing, but if you have a plan in mind, then you will be less preoccupied by the anxiety, and more able to relax and be yourself. Here are a few ways to impress the in-laws:

1. Compliments. Who doesn't love to hear great things about themselves? Well, your in-laws are no exception. Remember, they are human beings. Tell them how lovely their home is. Compliment your mother-in-law on her baking skills, or your father-in-law for his barbecue mastery. Let them know how happy you are to join their beautiful family. Let them know how much you love their son, and how you can see where he got his morals or sense of humor or creativity from. Honestly, they are nervous too. They want you to like them, so giving them compliments is a great way to let them know that you are impressed with them. The most important thing here is honesty. Your compliments should be genuine and should come from the heart. You don't want to risk seeming insincere.

2. Prepare a home-cooked meal. Your husband's parents want to see that the two of you have created a home together, and a healthy and delicious homemade dinner always creates a warm and comforting family atmosphere.
Set the table nicely -- break out the cloth napkins and the new napkin rings that you got for your wedding!
Play some light music -- something instrumental is always nice in the background. Try to get some information from your husband about his parents’ favorite meals, and wine preferences. They will be very impressed by your heartfelt gesture, especially if you have prepared some of their favorite dishes. Put out some fresh flowers.
Have tea and coffee on hand to serve with dessert -- and make sure you have decaf, just in case -- a great hostess is a prepared host!

3. Take an interest in them. What do they do for fun?
If your mother-in-law loves reading classic novels, ask her if you could borrow one of her favorite books, and then have a lunch to talk about it. If she knits, ask if she would be willing to teach you. You could knit a scarf for your husband -- that will get you double points, because it will show that you are nurturing too.
If your father-in-law likes jig-saw puzzles, bring one over the next time you visit. They will be glad to have the opportunity to build your relationship, and the closer all of you become, the less nervous you will be about impressing them.

4. Show them the best side of you and your husband as a married couple. When you are spending time with his parents, it is not the time to discuss any uncomfortable topics, such as finances or politics. The last thing that you want to do is argue in front of them. Of course, all couples have their debates, but they should never interrupt a dinner with the in-laws. Be polite and loving towards each other... that should be easy... after all, you DO love each other.

Have a great time impressing and getting to know your in-laws. They are family now, so they should love you for the wonderful person that you are -- and you should do the same for them.

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ways to boost self-esteem after a break up

No matter who initiated the break, the end of a relationship is hard on one's ego. While going through the grieving process, it's important to move on with your life. Jumping into another relationship to build your self-esteem is not really the answer to the post-break up blues and self-doubts. Try some of these other tips to help put the past behind you, and look towards your future, with more confidence and self-esteem.

Aesthetics:
Whether you are a man or a woman, having a fresh start often means changing your look. You may have been in a long- term relationship and "let yourself go." Many times there is a sense of complacency in long-term relationships, and our personal style and fitness might suffer. Take an honest look at yourself and let's make some positive changes to boost your self-esteem.

• Hair and Make up: Changing and updating a hairstyle can be an important step in making you feel good about yourself after a break up. Both Men and Women can benefit from spending some time at a salon and updating their personal hairstyle. Put your trust in the stylist and allow them to suggest new looks for you. Be daring and take a leap. Changing your hair, and learning how to create fun new do's with it is a great way to start off your transformation.
Ladies, you might want to invite some friends along and make it a spa day. Relaxation and laughter with good friends is the best medicine for a broken heart and confused mind. Get a manicure or pedicure, have your make up done differently and follow it up with a night on the town. This is about the new you, emerging from your grief into your new confident self who knows she will survive.

• The Clothes Make the Man or Woman! Have you gotten comfortable in your sweatpants rut? Time to spend some dough on new threads! You don't have to spend a fortune to pick up just a few new items to make you feel fresh and renewed. Bring a friend along on a shopping day, and get yourself a new outfit for dates and casual nights with friends. Buy apparel that brings a smile to your face, bright colors and fun styles will help break you out of the blues and bring your wardrobe into the new social scene.

• Get in Shape: Whether you gained a few pounds or broke out of your previous healthy exercise routine, now is the time to reclaim the best that you can be by being fit and healthy. Join a gym, or even just set up an evening to walk with a neighbor, any kind of routine exercise will not only make you look good, but will allow your body to help make you feel better as well. Regular exercise is great for lifting depression, and seeing increases in your fitness level may encourage you to try out new sports like tennis, or even rock climbing! Decide what interests you and get your body moving!

Mental Changes:
Now that the work of aesthetic changes is done, you need to focus your thoughts on the positives around you. Getting through the emotions of the break up is hard work, but working towards the future can give you hope and a purpose for your day.

• Write it Out: You've cried, and talked to your friends endlessly about the loss of your relationship. You may be tempted to further clear the air by communicating with your Ex… but don't look back. Write out your feelings in a journal, for your eyes only. This will give you the chance to honestly divest yourself of the pent up fears and frustrations that you may be afraid to confide to friends. The act of pouring your thoughts onto paper will also help you to stop perseverating on "what- ifs" and "should-of's." Once you write it out, put those thoughts away and get on with the business of happier living.

• Set Goals: Having a hard time thinking of reasons to get out of bed in the morning? Don't convince yourself that you are worthless or uninteresting. It is simply not true. Setting concrete goals can help to remind you of the things you want to accomplish and your talents and skills. Get yourself a large dry erase board and hang it in your kitchen, hallway, or bedroom. Create three columns labeled "Goals", "Steps," and "Deadlines." Have you always wanted to travel to Italy? Find out what it would take to make that dream come true. Contact a travel agent and perhaps a friend who may like to go along. Figure out what it would take financially and logistically, and set you a reasonable goal of 6 months, or even 2 years! The deadline doesn't matter as long as you are reminded of your dream and are taking steps to make it happen. Maybe you would like to learn how to cook, dance, or even just spend more time with friends.

Make these into goals and start pursuing your dreams. Taking classes or even socializing with friends can help rebuild ones self-esteem and provide you with much needed opportunities to meet new people, and get to know yourself!

The Best Revenge is to Live Well: No matter what you choose to do, choose to do something. Don't let the heartache of a lost relationship continue to affect you by making you believe you are undesirable or uninteresting. Get up and get out. Rebuild your self-esteem by following your own desires and interests and spend some much-deserved time on yourself. Whether you think you would most benefit from a massage or a gym membership, set your goals, and look toward your future as the self confident, and appealing person you are.

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Four reasons to break up with your girlfriend

Four reasons to break up with your girlfriend include the following: you are leading her on, you don't trust her, your relationship has made your life worse, or you are only with her out of guilt.

• YOU ARE LEADING HER ON

If you are with a woman who you know is falling for you, but you are aware that you are personally not falling in love with her, then you owe it to this woman to spare her feelings and end the relationship. Women sometimes have the tendency to let themselves become attached to a man that is not attached to them. If you do not see a future with your girlfriend, then don’t have a present with her. You can’t keep a lady around just because you can stand her. You can’t stay in a relationship out of convenience.

You should never continue a romance that you are not invested in just for the physical rewards. If you are not intending to take this relationship to the next level, and you know that the girl that you are with is already picking out china patterns, then you have to do the right thing: break it off. If you care about her at all, then you owe it to her not to lead her on.

The only reason to continue a relationship is because you believe that there is a future in it. You can date and you can have flings with women with no intention of building a relationship, but you have to be honest with the women that you are with so that they do not end up feeling deceived and manipulated.

• SHE CAN’T BE TRUSTED

If your girlfriend has been unfaithful to you, and you are unable to trust her, then you should break up with her. This is not to say that there are no circumstances in which cheating should be forgiven, but you have to evaluate that on an individual basis. First of all, do you think that she is truly remorseful and will not do it again, or do you think that she is just sorry that she got caught? You have to decide if you will be able to have faith in your relationship anymore. If you are not able to trust your girlfriend, then you need to break up with her. You will become a jealous person if you stay in a relationship with someone that you do not believe in. You should be with a woman who is mature enough to be honest with you. If your girlfriend felt she needed to stray from the relationship, then you should wonder why. Have you been unfaithful to her?

Do the two of you spend as much time together as you did when you first started the relationship? She might have been looking for someone to talk to when you were emotionally unavailable, and what started off as innocent flirtation led to infidelity. People do make mistakes, but if the mistake is going to cause you to be insecure and paranoid in your relationship, then you should break it off.

• YOUR LIFE HAS CHANGED FOR THE WORSE

Relationships can change your life, but the goal is for your life to be changed for the better, not the worse. If you feel like you are no longer a happy and confident person when you are with your girlfriend, then you are in an unhealthy relationship. Having a girlfriend is not worth sacrificing your happiness. Sometimes if a guy who is very inexperienced with women gets a girlfriend, he wants to stay in the relationship even if the woman is a witch to him.

If you are a man who has had a hard time playing the dating game, you might have resigned yourself to the idea that you have to settle for whoever will be with you. Wrong! You are better off alone than with someone who does not treat you with care and respect. It is unfair to you to settle for someone who does not value you. You deserve to be with someone who shows you the same love and kindness as you show them. If your girlfriend embarrasses you in front of your friends by demeaning you or if she is constantly pointing out your flaws and imperfections, then you owe it to yourself to break up with her and find someone who is deserving of your love.

• YOUR GUILTY CONSCIENCE

Sometimes a man will stay with a woman because he feels that it will destroy her if he ends the relationship. If you care about a woman, but you are no longer in love with her, then it is in both of your best interests in the long run to end the relationship.

Your girlfriend does not want to be in a relationship with someone who cares about her on a purely platonic level. She may be very hurt and saddened to see your relationship come to a close, but if you are not invested in this relationship, it is not going to survive, and the longer that you wait to end it, the worse things will become. You can feel bad that you are breaking her heart, but you should not feel guilty for being honest about your feelings.

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