Jan 4, 2009

Shy Man?---Dating tips for you

Shy men have a hard time in the dating pool, but there are ways to improve their chances.

DON’T LET THEM SMELL YOUR FEAR

Confidence is a very attractive attribute. In fact, most women say that they are drawn to men that project confidence and self-assurance. If you are a shy guy, you are going to have to learn how to project a confident image to the ladies.
For one, eye contact is a must. When you meet a woman, you should look her dead in the eyes and smile. If you are looking down at your shoes or around the room, you will come across as being very uneasy and uncomfortable.
Secondly, you should project your voice and speak in an audible and clear manner. If you approach a woman and you speak so softly that she has to have you repeat yourself three times, she is not going to be impressed. You will seem meek and timid. Also, don’t cross your arms when you are talking to a woman because this mannerism will make it seem like you are trying to keep yourself closed off from others.
Regardless of the inner turmoil that you may be feeling and the butterflies and knots that are dancing around in your stomach, your outward behaviors have to be calculated to project confidence. Practice your introductions in the mirror, and make a conscious effort to keep your head up and your shoulders back. Body language speaks volumes. It may take a while to get the hang of the confident new you, but with practice, anyone can master the art of confident body language.

ASK QUESTIONS
Sometimes shy men have the tendency to nervously ramble on about themselves, neglecting to take any interest in their dates. It isn’t that shy guys are rude and insensitive; it’s just that they aren’t sure how to handle themselves under pressure. Unfortunately, if you ramble on about yourself, your date is going to think that you are a self-centered egomaniac.
Follow the Boy Scout’s motto: always be prepared. If you have an array of possible questions prepared for your date, then you will be able to turn to one of those questions if you are nervously fumbling for conversation.

Ask your date about her first job.
Ask her about her family.
Ask her about her pets, if she has any.
Ask her if she has done much traveling, or if she wants to travel.
Ask her about her hobbies and special interests.

She will be flattered and impressed that you are taking such an active interest in her. Plus, these questions often lead to long conversations and trips down memory lane. The more prepared you are, the less nervous and shy you will appear to your date.

CHANGE YOUR INNER DIALOGUE
If you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, then you are going to be projecting that negativity onto your dates. The power of positive thinking is incredible. If you are your own worst enemy, then it is no wonder that you are so shy. You aren’t happy with yourself, so you can’t imagine why anyone else would be happy with you. The truth is that you need to revamp your attitude towards yourself in order to overcome your hurdle of shyness.
Every time you have a self-defeating thought, question it. For example, if you find yourself saying, “I am a never going to be able to approach that woman because she is going to think I am an ugly loser,” you should reject that thought and deliberately think in the opposite way. Say to yourself: “I am going to approach that woman because I know that I am worth talking to.” If you consistently monitor your negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, then over time, you will notice that your attitudes start to shift to more positive ones overall.

LOOK YOUR BEST
The better you look, the better you will feel. A shy man who feels that he is looking good will be far more outgoing than a shy man who thinks he looks like crap. You need to set yourself up for success by dressing to impress.
Shy men have a tendency to wear clothes that hide them, such as baseball hats, baggy sweatshirts and loose-fitting apparel. It’s time to come out of hiding! If you are going out on a date, and you are going to be at a somewhat nice restaurant, you should wear a nicely fitted pair of black pants or khakis, a button-down collared shirt, and a tie.
Also, make sure that you are clean-shaven (unless you have purposeful facial hair, not just a five o’clock shadow), and make sure that your shoes are shined. If you look the part, you will be much more apt to act the part.
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