When to end a relationship?

Not all dating relationships lead to marriage. Rather, many people date different individuals to find out more about the type of person they can or cannot live with as a marriage partner. This means, however, that many dating relationships will break off after a time. But how do you know when to end it?

A relationship that is mostly boring is a good indicator that things are not working out as well as they should. If you end up staying at home twiddling your thumbs on date night, whenever that comes for the two of you, perhaps you do not have much in common. Of course, all couples run out of exciting things to do at times. But if boredom becomes the rule rather than the exception, it may be the relationship will only grow worse after marriage. Try to cultivate some fun activities that both of you can enjoy, like exercise, videos, and home remodeling, for example. If you are unable to find common interests, it may be time to split.

Arguments should not characterize a relationship. While disagreements are bound to occur on occasion, you should be able to handle these simply and effectively. Ongoing or heightened conflicts may signal a growing problem that needs to be addressed. If you can’t resolve arguments quickly, it may be time to give up and move on. Of course, you can always see a counselor first, but then be prepared to continue seeing a therapist or learn problem-solving techniques on your own.

When you notice that one or both of you have little time for the other, that may be a sign that the relationship is headed nowhere. After all, the courtship phase should be the most exciting in any relationship between two people. If you find yourself too busy with work or family interests to make time for a significant other, it may be you don’t care enough to work that person into your life, or vice versa. There is no set pattern for how much or little a couple should spend time together, but you will know if the amount is appropriate based on your feelings over a period of time.

New interests can disrupt a dating relationship to draw one or both parties away from each other. These can take the form of hobbies, needs, or other people, and if they require a substantial amount of your time, it may be that your present relationship is not engaging your life in fully satisfying way. It’s natural to catch yourself glancing at another person who is attractive or interesting, but if your attention continually wanders from your partner, this should tell you something. Periodically evaluate your relationship to determine whether you feel fulfilled and whether you want to continue meeting your partner’s needs. If not, it may be time to take a temporary or permanent break from each other.

Ending a relationship is never easy and should not be done lightly. Yet, at the same time, it is important to be realistic and honest with each other to avoid sustaining an unhealthy or fragile relationship that is bound to bring about unhappy consequences sooner or later.