Tips for dating someone with a disability

Dating a person with a disability is somewhat different from dating a person whose body functions normally, but only in the physical sense. In all other ways, dating a disabled individual is as fun and rewarding as dating an able-bodied person.


When considering a date with a disabled person, there are several things to take into consideration. Is she blind? Then perhaps going to a movie might not be the best choice. Deaf? Might want to pass on those symphony tickets. Is he in a wheelchair or otherwise mobility impaired? Going dancing may not be what you want to do.

It's not a bad idea to ask your potential date where they would like to go. They may be able to offer some ideas you may not have thought of. If you already have a destination in mind, take a scouting trip to it and see if there are any potential problems, such as a crowded floor plan (impossible for wheelchairs to maneuver around), bathrooms that are either too small or too far, too noisy an environment (awful for the hard of hearing), and other possible pitfalls.

Beyond the basic "where to go" question, "how things go" is far more important, just as in any dating situation. Here are some tips for making your date go smoothly and pleasurably for both of you.

If your date is blind, consider telling him what you see around you as you head toward your planned activity. He cannot see, so this is your chance to "be somebody's eyes". When entering or leaving a building with steps, it is thoughtful to tell your date, "There are four steps into/out of this building." If reading is required, for example, a menu, you can ask if there is a Braille menu. If not, offer to read the menu options to your date.

If your date uses a cane, try to keep the walking to a minimum. Find parking places close to your destinations. In restaurants, discreetly ask the host to please not seat you too far from either the entrance or the rest rooms.

Dating a person in a wheelchair has additional special needs. For example, transporting the wheelchair itself. You will want to make sure that the trunk of your car is empty and of sufficient size to fit the chair, unless your date is driving their own vehicle, in which case, the point is moot.

Sidewalks are often cracked and rutted, making wheelchair travel difficult. In addition, sidewalk ramps are frequently badly placed or the grade on them is very steep. Your date may need assistance just pushing the chair down the sidewalk. If this is the case, try to keep up a friendly conversation as you roll along, and occasionally stop and make eye contact with your date.

Try to communicate with your date from their level. A person in a wheelchair often feels very tiny in a very tall world. Sit on a bench, bend over, even kneel if you feel so inclined. Eye contact is very important.

Don't make a big deal out of your date's disability, but also don't try to pretend that it doesn't exist. Treat the disability in a matter-of-fact way, and treat your date with all the dignity and respect that you would treat any other person with.

If you follow these tips and keep your mind open, your date should be a good one!