Tips on Balance Your Friends & Girlfriend

One of the most challenging aspects of being in a relationship is figuring out how to balance your friends and girlfriend. It's a delicate balance, and mishandling the situation could have serious consequences. If you blow off your girlfriend one too many times, you'll be single before you know it, but your friends won't remain friends with you for very long if you consistently flake out on them.

Ultimately, learning how to balance your friends and girlfriend is about time management and respect. The people who care about you deserve your time; the key is sorting out how to divide that time fairly between the important people in your life. Lucky for you, we're here to help. Take a look at these tips for balancing your friends and girlfriend.

Plan time with each
Your friends have always just called you up when they're in the mood to go out. Meanwhile, your girlfriend has started assuming that you'll be spending every weekend together. The problem is that both parties assume that you can just drop everything and hang out with them. In an effort to balance your friends and girlfriend, a little planning goes a long way. It may seem officious or uptight, but scheduling will you help you make the most of your time.

Respect sacred occasions
As you try to balance your friends and girlfriend, it's essential to acknowledge that some events are sacred -- some things you absolutely cannot ditch out on. For example, you pretty well have to spend New Year's with your girlfriend, even if your buddies are planning a kick-ass road trip to New York City while all she wants to do is attend a party at her BFF's. Similarly, you can't -- under any circumstances --- let your girlfriend talk you into blowing off sacred guy time, like your fantasy football draft or your annual camping trip. Recognize that some things are sacred and you'll be more likely to balance your friends and girlfriend.

Turn her into a wingwoman
One way to balance your friends and your girlfriend is to plan outings with both parties. For example, try taking your girlfriend with you when you go out to the club with the guys. Turning her into a wingwoman can be a great opportunity for friend-girlfriend bonding. Your girlfriend can actually be an asset for your friends in the pickup game. Single girls will feel more comfortable talking to your male friends if there's a woman in your group. Also, the sight of your friends talking comfortably with your cute girlfriend is sure to trigger a single girl's competitive nature.
Your girlfriend will enjoy these outings too because women can't resist playing matchmaker. She'll also be happy to lend a hand to your boys because, generally, girlfriends want your male friends to find girlfriends. When your friends start pairing up with girls, they're less threatening to her as you can start doing things like double-dates (instead of having them steal you away to prowl for women). Turning her into a wingwoman is a win-win situation.

Host parties
Hosting parties is another way for you to bring your friends and your girlfriend together. Your friends will be especially keen to attend a party hosted by you and your girlfriend because (besides the promise of drunken debauchery), they'll be keen to meet some of your girlfriend's single friends. If your girlfriend is reluctant, suggest cohosting a slightly more "adult" dinner party, with fewer togas and more civilized conversations.

Focus on the one you're with
Here's a simple rule to help you balance your friends and girlfriend: make sure the time you spend together with either party is quality time. In other words, when you're with your friends, don't spend the whole time on the phone with your girlfriend, and when you're with your partner, don't spend the whole time texting your buds. Friends and girlfriends can get jealous and resentful if they feel they're being neglected. It's no use spending time with someone if your attention is somewhere else.

Don't try to make her one of the guys
We've suggested ways to balance your friends and girlfriend by incorporating her into your regular guy routine, but there's an important distinction to be made here: No matter how much you may want it, your girlfriend is never going to be one of the guys. If she hates sports, you're not going to convince her to spend every Sunday watching football with your college roommates. Just as important, your friends will end up resenting it if you bring your girlfriend to every poker night. Know when to include your girlfriend in friend-related activities and know when to show up alone.

one happy family
Balancing your friends and girlfriend is not going to be simple, but achieving that balance is necessary if you want to keep your girl and be there for your buds. Sometimes you might need to be a bit creative with your time, but so long as you plan ahead and maintain reasonable expectations, you should be able to keep everyone happy, including yourself.