Men--You Can cry like a real man

Crying allows the human body to deal with stress in an effective way. However it isn't acceptable for real men to show weakness or fear and definatly it is not acceptable to cry in public. Here will give you the opportunity to relieve your stress and at the same time let you save face amoungst other males in society.

Step1
Meet and fall in love with a stripper. Or some other alcoholic female dependant that will burn through most of your money and emotions in a reckless manner. It is important that the relationship is short lived - this provides "longing for what could have been."

Step2
Kick her out of your life and forget to change the locks on the door. Come home to find most of your prized possessions destroyed in your living room.

Step3
Take her back when she promises not to do it again.

Step4
Repeat Steps 2 and 3 about a half dozen times. Wait until she starts having sex with your downstairs neighbor before realizing you need to end it for real. Warning: make up sex with a crazy stripper will make it easy to repeat steps 2 and 3 several times as it will be astronomical.

Step5
Clean up what remains of your possessions and stand over the destroyed collection of Star Wars collectible glasses you got from Burger King when you were 10, which should now be in fragments all over your living room.

Step6
Feel that anger rising up in your throat. Take that anger and tuck it down under your lower left rib for a few days. It is good to let it ripen and then release it at an appropriate time.

Step7
When you are home alone (alone is imperative) listen to Country and Western music or the Blues. Then let that shell around your ripened anger soften and break apart and let the tears come. Note: sometimes it is necessary to have a few beers beforehand to soften up the shell. Once they start, there will be sobbing and heaving, don't fight it just let it come and soon it will all be over with. It is important that you do this in a private place so that you never show how weak and sensitive you truly are, especially around other males. Male hierarchy is very rigid and knowing you have friends that are only a phone call away who would taunt you and beat you up if they caught you crying like a baby will ensure that you don't lose focus on this step.

Step8
Once finished, enjoy some more beers or ice cream (we can thank chicks for the invention of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream!) Again - in private. Then go to work the next day and never speak of it. Crying, like having sex with your buddy's wife, is never spoken of in public but quietly understood as necessary at times.