Common marriage problems after children

Some married couples experience problems once they have a baby. There are often changes in a couple’s sex life, and many women have insecurities about their bodies after having a baby. Married couples have to accept the reality that life is going to change – forever – once they start a family. Sometimes men feel rejected and unloved by their wives because of the amount of time she is devoting to caring for their baby or children. Some women feel resentment towards their husbands because they don’t feel like their husband is involved enough in taking care of the children and household. Husbands and wives need to understand that they have to work together as a parenting team and they also cannot forget to foster and nourish their relationship as a couple.

Many married couples experience a major slow-down in their sex lives once they begin having children. Women often feel differently about their bodies after childbirth, and they become insecure and less comfortable being intimate. Often, women gain a substantial amount of weight during pregnancy, and they have a hard time dropping the excess pounds after they give birth because they are so overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a new mommy.

It can be very hard for women to regain their self-esteem and reclaim a positive body image. A woman who used to feel great ripping her clothes off and getting naked before making love with the lights on may feel like hiding herself and keeping the lights off -- if she even wants to be intimate at all -- after she has a baby. Many husbands have a hard time understanding why their wives cannot just relax about their post-childbirth looks.

A good husband loves his wife and sees her as the most beautiful woman in the world; he thinks that his wife looks wonderful, even with a few extra pounds on after having a baby. The last thing that a man should do is comment on his wife’s changed appearance in a negative way. Doing so will seal his fate on the couch and out of the bed. The bottom line is that sex and physical intimacy are important aspects of a marriage, and they shouldn’t be neglected. It is certainly understandable that your sex life will not be as spicy as it has been in the past for several months after a child is born. Both spouses will be very busy and sleep-deprived, and women will still be physically recovering from the delivery itself.

Husbands should reassure their wives that they are sexy and attractive. Do not let the romance and chivalry die in your relationship just because you are now parents. Make sure that you keep the love alive – write your wife a poem, bring home flowers, cover the bed in rose petals. You have to put in an effort – more of an effort that you had to put in before you had a kid or kids – but it will be worth it in a major way.

Wives have to remember that although they are mothers now, they still have to be attentive and loving to their husbands. You may feel all “nurtured out” by the time your husband gets home from work, but your husband needs your love, just as you need his. If you are a stay-at-home mom, you should try not to forget about the hard work that your husband does outside the home. This is not to say that your work at home isn’t just as hard; in fact, it’s harder.

However, your husband has to know that you are proud of him and you are happy that he is financially providing for your family. Ask him how his day was – don’t just dive into a laundry list of all the chaos that you experienced in your own day. Send him off with a kiss every morning, and an “I love you.” Don’t be resentful of the fact that your husband gets to go into work for eight hours a day while you have a round-the-clock job. If you don’t want to be a stay-at-home mom, then don’t be one. If you do want to be a stay-at-home mom, then embrace your life and don’t punish your husband for what he is doing to support your family monetarily.