Top 12 Things Men Really Hate Most About Women

Women, did you know there are 12 things that you do that man tend to hate most of all? It's true these things that women either know or don't know that they do. What are these 12 things that women should avoid? They are:

1. Not Sticking to Agreements
When agreements are made, women tend to break them or change them to suit their needs, no matter what the situation is.

2. Keeping Their Feelings
It's stereotypical to believe women share automatically how they are feeling. Actually, women will hold in their feelings until they are asked often enough that they spill what is on their minds.

3. Try to Change Their Men
Women often understand men but don't agree with the way they are. Women try to change them to suit their needs or leave them alone completely.

4. Mate Comparison
Women, sometimes unknowingly, compare their current mate to their ex in terms of negative aspects. Comparisons should be made when it's favorable.

5. Belittling His Hobbies
Everyone has a hobby or two that their mate doesn't like. However, you should never keep them from doing it. Also, never demand that they take an interest in your hobby. The message you send is that your hobbies are much more important than is and that's not the message you should be sending.

6. Gossiping
While it would seem to stroke the man's ego, men don't like women gossiping about them, whether it's good or bad. It doesn't matter.

7. Nagging
Men do not like it when a woman constantly nags them about getting things done whether or not it's with good intentions.

8. Interruption
Believe it or not, a man needs to talk to so it's best you listen with an open mind and not try to interrupt. Men do not like it when a woman listens but looks impatient to talk too. If you interrupt him with something else not relevant to the current conversation, you could create tension between the both of you.

9. Solution Oriented vs. Conversation Oriented
Men like to get to the bottom of things so don't get upset if they don't want to talk for hours about a particular subject.

10. Beauty Conscious
Men do not like it when a woman spends a lot of time looking at herself in the mirror but still looks the same as she always does.

11. Paranoia
Men don't like it when a woman gets paranoid about the way she looks. If your man doesn't like the way you look, they wouldn't be with you.

12. Insecure/Jealously
Believe it or not, men do not like jealousy, even a small bit. This is especially true if you are out on a date together and catch their eye wander. You make a wise crack about it. This actually annoys them very much.

If you don't want to drive your man up the wall, then stay away from these 12 blundering mistakes and work on more positive outlet to keep your man.

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When to Call the Man in Your Life

If you're a female chances are that you've heard a bit of talk about the dating phone call rules for women. Unfortunately, there's more to dating than meets the eye. Women are often left wondering how they should handle phone calls with the man they are involved with. Should you call him if he doesn't call you? How many days should you wait to contact him after a date and what if you only ever get his voicemail? Once a woman understands the basics of when to call a man, she'll find this part of the dating maze easy to navigate.

One of the fundamental dating phone call rules that every woman should follow is not to call the man she's dating too often. Some advice even suggests that you should never call him at all, but that's taking it a bit too far. Men make several insightful observations based on how a woman handles phone calls. If a woman calls too often a man may label her as desperate. He's also likely to jump to the conclusion that she's already devoted to him and that leaves him feeling pretty comfortable in the relationship. You may have noticed that the more you call the man you're dating, the less interested he seems. That's because men want to be the ones chasing you.

It's a good idea to wait for the man you are dating to call you unless you two have agreed that you would call. If you do call, at his suggestion, and it goes to voicemail, leave a short message and don't call back. This is another of the dating phone call rules that women constantly break. They try and reach the man they are involved with and when he doesn't respond right away, they leave message after message. Sometimes they even become a bit frantic out of fear that something horrible must have happened to him that's keeping him from calling. Make the first initial phone call and then leave it at that. He'll call back when he's ready to. Just ensure that you don't seem too over eager once you do hear from him.

You need to always remember that men and women view phone calls, emails and text in very different ways. If you make the mistake of calling too frequently, at the wrong time or before he's ready to hear from you, you can actually turn him off. Women unwittingly ruin their chances of a future with a man because they are too over eager to hear from him. Don't let this happen to you.

You may think that there's no consequence when you pick up the phone to call the man you're interested in, but there is. Men pay close attention to when women call them and they'll make assumptions about you based on that. Learn when the perfect time to contact him is so that he'll find you irresistible.

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Traditional and modern color scheme ideas for a winter wedding

Winter weddings have often been themed around the 2 major winter romantic holidays; Christmas and Valentine’s Day. The color schemes often follow the holiday themes.

Traditionally, red and green, burgundy and hunter, and pink and white are the major color choices. Silver and gold are often used as accent colors. Taffetas and velvets are available fabric choices for the season, and plaids are often used for a Christmas wedding.

Brides can take advantage of the beautiful holiday decorations in churches over the holidays. To do so, the wedding party must take the style and color scheme of the church/site into consideration. Bright red poinsettias decorating the church would clash with burgundy velvet bridesmaids dresses. Make sure to check the reception hall for any decorations that might interfere with your plan also.

An easy way to incorporate holiday decorations belonging to your church/hall would be to go with a coordinating color scheme. This would complement what is already available, but not copy the color theme.

If bright red poinsettias are overflowing at the chapel, the wedding colors could be silver, gold and a combination of hunter green. If silver and blue are in abundance in your synagogue you could add deeper shades of blue and/or dove grey as well as white which would add depth and richness in the monochromatic (varying shades of the same color) scheme.

Metallic fabrics are becoming more popular. Black is still a standard color in formal weddings. These colors can be used uniquely, a bronze, silver and gold wedding or a black and white wedding with jewel tone or pastel accents would be a good use of modern colors and fabrics adding freshness to a theme that may seem dated to you.

To make the best choice in a color theme ask yourself the following questions:

What is my favorite color? Will it work with the date that I have chosen?
Pastel pink would work with a Valentine monochromatic (red shades blending into pinks) theme, but would probably not work with Christmas, unless a Victorian theme is chosen. If your location could support a Victorian theme, blues and pinks and mauves would be appropriate and beautiful.

What is my favorite flower? Is it available in winter? Does it matter to me if I can’t use it in my wedding? If you adore lilacs, can not do without, you will have to be creative. Silver, white and lavender would be a lovely combination, and could even work over Christmas if white poinsettias are used in the décor.

What scene do you picture when you think of your wedding? Did you choose winter because you see yourself walking down the aisle in a hood and holding a fur muff? Then you will be most satisfied with traditional. Do you long for velvet or satin? Do you see formal, homey, casual, elegant?

Do you live in a climate where winter is just another sunny day? If so, the heaviness of traditional wedding colors and fabrics might not be a good fit for you. In this situation you might want to consider the monochromatic color blends.

To choose color palettes that blend nicely, once you have decided why you want a winter wedding and what it looks like to you, consult the color wheel. Opposites are classic color choices. Red and green or yellow and violet are considered complementary colors. Most shade (darker) or tint (lighter) combinations should look lovely together. Related color schemes are colors next to each other like green, blue green, blue. Again fiddling with shades and tints can give you a lot of different looks depending on how they are used. Monochromatic is again different tints and shades of the same color, pale blue to navy with any in between on the scale. Paint strips at the paint counter would give you help with this look if you feel insecure about pulling the look off.

If you go with an intense color, dark or primary (red or blue) less is best. Use it as a focal color, and use accent colors to frame your main color. Accents can be the colors as mentioned on the color wheel in the above paragraph or neutrals. Neutrals are white, gray, beige, black and metallics. Consider a favorite color used sparingly, a metallic used lightly to add drama and another neutral or accent color more abundantly. An example of this would be sapphire blue, silver and an abundance of a tint of blue/lavender if you want to play up the winter snow or Hanukah season.

If you want a Kwanza wedding celebration and your meeting place is already going to be decorated in the colors of the season, consider small bouquets of yellow and red and silver bridesmaid dresses to complement rather than clash with the décor.

Is your heart set on classic Christmas? Consider simple dresses in dark or celadon green (medium gray green), simple bouquets of a single poinsettia stem or white roses wrapped in silver ribbon so that you aren’t fighting with the décor. A Victorian Christmas could be easily over decorated also. Consider 3 long stemmed pink roses wrapped in a square of lace or satin for your attendants and simple blue or pink dresses.

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Top 10 hard questions for men to ask before having children

The relationship process often follows a predictable pattern- a couple meets, dates, marries and eventually forms a family. It seems like a natural progression, but with each new step also comes a need to ask some very difficult questions of oneself. The decision to start a family is indeed one of those life-altering experiences which requires some tough self-examination for both husband and wife. Here are 10 of the hardest question a man should ask himself before deciding whether or not to start a family:

1. Am I financially prepared to raise a child? This doesn't mean only the immediate medical or household expenses of actually bringing a baby into the world. You must ask yourself if you're secure enough financially to raise a child from age 0 to age 18 without the risk of collapse. Does your present job present opportunities for a raise in salary or promotion to a better position over time? If your spouse wants to become a stay-at-home parent, can your salary support both her and the child? Many parents discover that their finances, no matter how limited they appear to be, can usually stretch to afford a child. No one can absolutely guarantee job security in an uncertain world, but ask yourself if you feel confident about your employment and income opportunities over the next 10 or 20 years. If you have serious reservations, it may be better to wait until your financial outlook is more stable.

2. Do I agree with my spouse on discipline? The root of many disputes between parents is a fundamental disagreement over discipline issues. One parent may believe strongly in spanking or other corporal punishment, while the other may favor non-physical approaches such as lectures or time-outs. Parents may discover that a mixture of both philosophies work best, but you should ask yourself if you're prepared to compromise on discipline. If you are strongly in favor of spanking but your spouse is not onboard with that idea, the resulting stress can be overwhelming. If your personal views on disciplining a child are based on your own childhood experiences and not on a current parenting philosophy, then you may need to reconcile your feelings with a professional counselor before having children. Some adults who were subjected to harsh physical discipline as children may take a vow to never spank their own children, but this isn't always a realistic decision for parents. Examine your own concerns about discipline and discuss them with your spouse before committing to parenthood.

3. Am I having children to 'keep up with the Joneses'? Some couples feel social pressure to form families at the same time their relatives or friends do. In the same way that single people may feel uncomfortable around married friends, some childless couples feel uncomfortable around friends with children. There is always an emotional pull to have a son who will carry on the family name or a daughter who will be the envy of everyone around her. Society often places a lot of emphasis on the idea of perpetuating ourselves through the next generations. Parents become grandparents, siblings become aunts and uncles and all of their children become cousins. This idea of an instant extended family may be very appealing, but it shouldn't override other considerations such as financial security or the continued strengthening of a romantic relationship with your spouse. Ask yourself if the idea of having a child is truly coming from your heart, or is it a subconscious decision driven by outside influences.

4. Am I committed to this relationship? This may sound like a harsh question to ask, especially when it should be obvious your romantic relationship is strong. But it's one you need to ask before bringing a child into the equation. Some couples going through a rough patch in their relationship may honestly believe a child will magically fix their problems. The difficulty lies in all those unanswered issues which get pushed aside during the pregnancy and early child rearing stages. Having a child may indeed feel like a renewal of a relationship which had been in danger of fading away or ending badly. But if the pre-baby issues have not been fully reconciled, the result could be an even more dysfunctional family dynamic. If you and your spouse are having trouble communicating or you're experiencing the feeling of being trapped or smothered, you need to work through those feelings before bringing a child into the relationship.

5. Am I ready to become Mr. Responsibility? Growing up is hard on everyone, especially those who tend to avoid responsibility. Many of us look back at our teen years and wonder how that person ever survived to adulthood. In our twenties, we're still trying to find ourselves through college educations and entry-level jobs with minimal responsibility. If we decide to quit one profession, we still have time to try something else for a while. A romantic relationship may last a few weeks or a few years. But then we meet our future spouses and that independent lifestyle seems to fade away quickly. Our lives become more settled, and with that stability comes responsibility. Bills must be paid, jobs become careers and our girlfriends become our wives. Deciding to bring a new life into your family often means taking on even more responsibility than ever. You'll be largely responsible for training a child to become a healthy and productive adult someday. He or she will also become reckless or irresponsible for a while, but then come to the same conclusions you did. Ask yourself if you're ready to become a mature role model for a young son or daughter. This doesn't mean you can't have fun ever again or your relationship with your spouse can't be as freeform as it once was, but you will have a small child learning how you handle your life. Make sure you're prepared to become a Dad at home and a Mister to the outside world.

6. Do I have enough friends and relatives to form a supportive network? Some couples may distance themselves from their families as a way of dealing with personality clashes, but eventually both families will want to help with child rearing. This will mean making every effort to be on good terms with in-laws and friends of your spouse. Once a child enters the picture, you'll be seeing quite a lot of them in the first few years. They may provide babysitting services for a couple's night out, but some may also become a bit intrusive. You may find yourself appreciating their help one day and quietly resenting their presence the next day. Raising a child often becomes a community project for extended family members, so it pays to be on good personal terms with them.

7. Can I truly handle the disruptions a baby can bring? Babies can decide to cry at any moment of the day or night. Changing diapers can be a very messy and thankless job. Babies must be secured into car seats and carriers each and every time an outing is planned. A simple trip to the store may involve an hour of extra planning and preparation. Doctor visits may take up your accumulated vacation days at work, or involve all-day trips across town. Neither parent will get much sleep during the first few years of a child's development, and the husband/wife relationship may be put on hold indefinitely. But despite all of these impositions on one's time and dignity, many parents discover that these early days are the best. Having a child can be extremely fulfilling on an emotional and spiritual level, even if it can be rough on the body at times. You must ask yourself if you're ready to give up part of your own comfort in order to raise and protect your baby.

8. Am I going to be a good father? No one can really answer this question for you, but you do have some history to draw upon. Looking back on your own childhood, you may remember both good and bad qualities about your father. There may have been some times when you felt he was unfair or non-responsive, while at other times he was right there when you needed him. You may remember your father as a distant person who rarely showed emotion or as an accessible and generous man. He may have come across as a leader who taught by example, or as someone who allowed others to be better role models. No matter how you were raised, you must decide how you want your own child to see you. Do you want his or her respect or do you want to be their best friend? Are you looking forward to teaching them the essentials of life or are you hoping others will be around to take up the slack? You will make mistakes and face times when your child doesn't particularly like you, but you'll always be the parent, right or wrong.

9. Can I be truly gender-blind? Most men would like to believe they would love a daughter as much as a son or vice-versa, but in reality many would-be dads find they do have a preference. Some look forward to raising a son who will carry on the family traditions and be interested in all the things his father enjoys- sports, cars, gadgets, etc. Others may look forward to raising a 'daddy's girl' who will see him as the ultimate male role model and offer him unconditional love. As strong as these gender preferences may be, there is no way to predict a baby's gender until well into the gestation period. A father cannot be so caught up in his gender preference that he loses all perspective. A child can often sense a parent's disappointment even if it is never mentioned in his or her presence. You must ask yourself if you can set aside your own biases towards gender and raise your child to the best of your ability.

10. Am I comfortable with my child's religious upbringing? Many parents find themselves in a quandary where religious training is involved. They may share a common religion, or come from mixed religious backgrounds. One parent might be very religious while the other is non-religious or non-practicing. The issue of future religious training must be addressed before children are brought into the picture. If the parents are not coming from the same place religiously, the conflict can easily become overwhelming. Jewish traditions such as circumcision or mitzvahs may not mesh with Catholic beliefs such as confirmation or baptism. Some parents find compromise to be simply a question of dividing their time between both religions, but others may decide to convert to their spouse's religion in order to settle the conflicts. You must ask yourself if you would be comfortable making these life-altering decisions if it meant an easier religious upbringing for your child. You cannot make these assumptions for a spouse. You'll need to have a serious conversation about religious practices with your spouse before making any decision about having a child.

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How to get along with your neighbors

How well do you know the folks next door? If your acquaintance is limited to a nod and a wave, you may want to think about building a better relationship for getting on better footing.

Neighbors play an important role in our lives. Their lifestyle, friends, and social habits can have a strong impact on our lives. It is a good idea to get to know the people next door or across the street to develop an interlocking community of support and security. You never know when a neighbor will spot a burglar creeping around your house or alert you to a creeping mildew that is affecting neighborhood roses. Or you may want to leave an extra key at their house in case someone in your family gets locked out.

There are plenty of reasons to work on a positive relationship with your neighbors. Here's how:

1. Go over and introduce yourselves. Proper greetings can put everyone on a first-name basis and pave the way for more meaningful future encounters. Don't stay too long, though, or you'll wear out your welcome!

2. Lend a helping hand. If your neighbor is raking leaves, chopping wood, or building a deck, offer a few hours of assistance. There's no better way to build community. Besides, you never know when the favor might be returned.

3. Offer support. If you hear that someone close by is ill, has had an accident, or is laid off from work, take over a hot meal or a fresh dessert. Your thoughtfulness will add a special touch during a difficult time.

4. Meet a need. When you hear of a special need that you can meet, do it, such as sitting with a sick child while your neighbor goes to work or taking an elderly parent to a doctor's appointment when their car won't start. That's what the story of the Good Samaritan is all about.

5. Share information. Alert your neighbor to news of new developments that may impact everyone in your area, such as new sewer lines, sidewalks, housing developments, or weather threats. Keeping everyone in the loop ensures that you will learn of impending events as well.

6. Exchange holiday cards, gifts, or traditions. Invite your neighbors over for cocoa and carols in December or an Easter egg hunt in spring. A backyard barbecue can be a great way to share food and fun. Don't forget about graduations, weddings, and baby showers. If they've watched your kids grow up or been aware of your family events, they may want to share these special occasions.

7. Plan a block party or yard sale. Invite everyone on the block to participate. Planning and carrying out the activity helps everyone to get acquainted and create a newfound sense of community.

Even if your neighbors (or their dog) annoy you at times, grin and bear it. They are like family in many ways since you'll have to live with them, or near them, for a long time. Appreciate their strengths and overlook weaknesses, and everyone will get along just fine.

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why some people avoid touch and affection

Most of us love to have someone reach out and pat our shoulder or give us a hug when we are feeling down. Touch is one way we tend to show affection for each other. There are some people, however, who stiffen their bodies or actually move away when we reach out and touch them.

The very thought of being touched can upset some people greatly. Hopefully, I can explain some of the more frequent reasons for this aversion in a way that creates understanding in those who do not feel this way.

People are born with a basic need to be loved and touched. Some babies, however, do not have regular physical contact with a caretaker. Maybe the child is an orphan who has gone from one foster home to another, never having a chance to bond with any particular person. It is possible the child’s parents were emotionally distant and never taught the child the thrill of being touched. Another possibility is the child was born in a home where alcohol or drug addiction kept his parents away from him, either physically or emotionally.

In these cases, a child can learn to enjoy being held if he is given the chance early enough. The longer he is in such a situation, however, the harder it is to let go of the feeling that a touch is somehow wrong. Adults who never had an opportunity to enjoy a normally affectionate relationship simply won’t know how to respond to touch or affection, and will naturally step back from what he doesn’t know.

Another group of people who find touch and affection almost painful are those who have been physically or sexually abused. In their experience, people they trusted to love them and keep them safe actually hurt them, or allowed them to be hurt. They mistrust anyone who shows any sign of getting close to them.

Physical abuse causes scars that are far deeper than those others can see. When a person knows nothing but pain from those who claim to love him, he learns to mistrust any signs of affection. These people have been on guard most of their lives, ready to defend themselves from attack. Any physical touch can cause an automatic defensive reaction in their bodies, often without the person even realizing what is actually happening.

Sexual abuse does much the same thing. Those who have been abused sexually can often have flashbacks, when touched in an intimate way, to the event or events that caused the initial pain. They view touch as a prelude to pain and try to stay away from it. These people may want touch and affection, but their bodies have learned to respond in a way that prevents this. Many of these people my never be able to get completely through the pain their pasts have created.

There is a small group of people who suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). In one of its many forms, this disorder makes the person fear germs that they feel are everywhere. These people truly fear, that if they are touched, some germ may cause them to become ill or die. This group is the hardest to convince that touch can be a wonderful thing. In most of these cases, only a professional can help rid the person of their fear.

Before making any assumptions about a person’s unwillingness to be touched, it is always best to talk with the person about what you see. It may be a simple case of the person feeling ill or tired and just wanting to be left alone for the time being. Allow the person a chance to talk about what the touching makes them feel and let them know you are there for them. If the reason does go back to abuse or some other deeply embedded problem, discuss the possibility of the person seeing a professional to help them work through the causes. In any case, do not force touch upon someone who does not want it. This not only is a violation of their wishes, but it may only further deepen the problem. This is definitely the last thing you would want for someone you care about.

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How to deal with an angry ex boyfriend

Many of us would like to think that when a relationship goes sour, both parties can simply pick up the pieces and move on in an adult and civil manner with a simple adieu and good luck. In reality, it never works that way. Usually there is resentment and anger from one or both sides of the party that needs to be dealt with as soon as possible. If you are dealing with an angry ex, specifically an angry ex-boyfriend, here are some tips that should help you.

Offer Friendship

Unless the relationship was ended in an emotionally or physically violent manner, assure your ex that he or she is still important to you and that you want to remain friends, if possible. Of course, only offer friendship if you are willing to give it. Do not feel compelled to do so just for the sake of doing so. Understand if he is unwilling to have you as a friend and do not push it on him. He may still be reeling from the breakup and the idea of having you only as a friend may be too much for him to handle at the moment. Give him time to let it all sink in and extend your hand in friendship when he is ready to receive it and when you are ready to offer it. On the same note, be mindful when around mutual friends. Do not offer your hand in friendship while you are talking negatively about him to all of his friends.

Do Not Ignore Him

Ignoring a problem never makes it go away. In a situation like this, ignoring an angry ex-boyfriend may serve only to make him angrier and more resentful. If you have broken up with your boyfriend, do not suddenly act like you’ve never met him before and pass him by without saying a word. You have shared a history with him which you must recognize and respect.

Do Not Flaunt a New Relationship

There is nothing worse than seeing your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend with their new boyfriend or girlfriend if you were the one that was dumped. If you are already dealing with an angry ex-boyfriend, nothing will get him angrier than your new boyfriend being flaunted all over town on your arm. Imagine how it would feel to see an ex that you still loved with another woman. Trust me, it is not the best feeling in the world. Be sensitive to how your ex may feel.

Stay Honest With Yourself

Although you want to be compassionate with your ex, you must remain true to yourself. Do not let yourself be guilt-tripped into getting back together with your ex. Remember the reason/s why the relationship ended. It is a woman’s intuition to want to try and nurture others to make things better, but if he is pressing you to get back together and you feel you have valid reasons why you should not be with him, do not give in just to make him feel better.

Take Threats Seriously

If your angry ex-boyfriend starts making threats against you, do not take them lightly. Even if you tell yourself, “Oh, he would never hurt me,” if he is threatening you, others or himself, alert the proper authorities immediately. There are too many stories in the news today of angry men and women hurting their unexpecting ex.

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25 things to do on a first date

Creating a great first date experience is vital in making the right first impression on your date. A poorly planned date might leave the other party thinking you are unorganized, careless, and unthoughtful. The more effort you put into making it a memory, and not just a meeting, might be the difference between a second date or a mid-date ditch. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Did you meet due to shared interests? If you met in a class or club, expand on that interest on your first date!
1. Take a pottery painting class.
2. Try a dance demonstration class.
3. Interested in fitness? How about a trial yoga or tai chi class?
4. Enjoy nature and the outdoors? Take a nature walk at the local park or beach.
5. Go to the local botanical gardens or a specialty plant store.
6. Go to a Bonsai specialty store and learn how to trim a Bonsai. Buy your date a plant as a gift and remembrance of your date!
7. Like sports? How about a trip to the bowling alley?
8. Spend the evening at an amusement park.
9. Try out a sports park and test your skills at the go-carts or batting cages!
10. Like to cook? Try a new recipe together and set up your dinner table for a romantic meal.
If shared hobbies or interests haven't really brought you together, you might need some help to keep a conversation going. Choose a date that will allow for less talking and more opportunities for casual conversation.
11. The old standby… dinner and a movie. This is a classic date, because it provides you with the relaxation of a movie, and a conversation starter (movie critique) during dinner. Try a movie and the relaxed environment of your local coffeehouse!
12. Try tennis or racquetball that requires some interaction over the net!
13. Go to a psychic or psychic faire! This can be a fun way to break the ice, and open up conversations regarding hopes and dreams of the future, and beliefs of the supernatural! (Everyone seems to have at least one ghost story!)
14. Visit a nearby shopping district or downtown area and window-shop! Stroll down the street and talk casually while sipping on coffees. Stop and eat at local venders and sit and relax in green spaces.
15. Walk the dog. If you have a love for pets in common, take your dogs to a dog park!
16. Visit the Zoo. Also a classic first date because it is a little out of the ordinary, has built in conversation starters (how do you feel about "Bats?") and usually has food venders. If you are lucky, plan your date around a Zoo event like a music feature or art show!
17. Local festivals or specialty shows. If you enjoy walking and watching people, head out to a local art or ethnic festival. Check out a car or outdoors sports show, anything that might be of interest to your date, and provide a built in conversational opportunity will be great.
18. The Imax. Not just your usual movie experience, make it a theme date. If the Imax movie revolves around an ocean theme, follow it up with a seafood dinner or stroll by the beach!
19. Check out the local museum! Chances are your date may have some special interests that will be presented at the museum of your choice. Maybe Egyptian art is an interest, or Chinese textiles. Find out what his/her tastes and interests are, and build from there.
Perhaps you have known your date for a while as friends and are ready to pour on the romance. If you are comfortable and conversation flows freely, try a little romance.
20. Theme Night: If you know a specific interest of your date, turn it into an evening of fun! If their favorite color is red, make a spaghetti dinner with red place settings and glasses. Buy him/her some red roses, and watch "The Hunt for Red October" or “The Red Violin."
21. Tell your date to reserve a certain day and time and to meet you somewhere special. Leave a trail of notes and clues to get your date from point A. (the meeting place) to point B. (Perhaps you, on a blanket, with a picnic lunch.) Make it easy, and fun.
22. Ask his/her friends: Find out if your date has expressed any specific wishes for great dates. Chances are their friends will be able to clue you in on just the right first move to make.
23. Contact a hot air balloon company or cruising yacht and rent it for an afternoon. Have champagne and of course a camera to capture your memories.
24. Take a Ride: Whether it is on a bike, a motorcycle or car, plan an afternoon in the country and drive. Make sure you know the route and plan to stop for meals and treats along the way.
25. Be active! Go apple picking, roller-skating or even kite flying. Spend the day outdoors, and rent a movie and get a pizza for a relaxing evening back at home when you return. Nothing is better than relaxing with a friend after a day of exercise and fresh air.

No matter what level your friendship is on before your first date, remember that this is your first chance to make an impression as a potential love interest. Think it through, put in some effort, and do your best to think of what you date might really enjoy before you ask him/her out. There is no bigger turn off then starting a relationship with a conversation of “I don't know, what do you want to do?" Make your plans and make your move.

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Dating an ex-girlfriend

Sometimes an ex-girlfriend will saunter back into your life and you may be tempted to rekindle the relationship. Here are some points to ponder that may help you avoid additional heartache with your ex.

Regardless of who broke up with whom, there are many reasons an ex may suddenly reappear on your radar screen. Jealousy, depression and pregnancy lead the list of reasons reconciliation may be considered. These aren’t exactly the healthiest scenarios to resume your relationship. There must be a more compelling reason than these to pursue a relationship with your ex.

Before you wave the white flag, examine why you want to get back together. Think about the reasons your relationship faltered. Was she dishonest or cheating on you? If the answer is yes, ask yourself why you would want to settle for someone who had an affair. Aside from always having to keep your guard up, you are putting yourself at risk for contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Many people who have affairs don’t stop having them – they are simply better at concealing them over time. If you are ready to forgive and forget her behavior, wait at least six months before jumping back into the relationship. It will give her an opportunity to think about the consequences for cheating and may help you see the relationship more objectively. It may reduce the likelihood she repeats this behavior on your watch. Of course, you first may need to pry her from the arms of her current boyfriend to get her attention.

On the other hand, maybe you were the transgressor in your relationship and have seen the errors of your ways. If you cheated on your ex and would like to reconcile, think about the reasons you strayed. You are going to need to prove to her you have addressed whatever problem you had that made you seek comfort outside of your relationship. Be honest. It is unfair to both of you if you are disingenuous about your intention to be faithful in the future. Time is the only way to regain trust. Rather than asking her to resume your relationship, start rebuilding your credibility with her. If you make a lunch date, show up on time. When she is sick, send her a get-well card. These small steps prove you are a man she can count on. Once she seems to have warmed up to you, ask her what doubts she has about you. Ask her what you can do to help eradicate any leftover malevolent feelings. Take your direction from her.

Sometimes there aren’t any hard feelings at all – you simply grew apart. These relationships tend to not be as emotionally charged as those where someone has had an affair. Ask yourself why the relationship fizzled out. Maybe you were pursuing separate interests or your schedules didn’t afford you much time together. Perhaps there wasn’t much chemistry. The former problems are much easier to fix than the latter. If you find yourself missing your ex-girlfriend’s companionship and you had reasonable chemistry, start making time for her. Adjust your schedule. Suggest events that cater to her interests or a favorite hobby. Even if you don’t enjoy the activity, remember it is your ticket to reconnecting with her and you won’t have to do this regularly.

Steer clear of your ex-girlfriend if she is expressing an interest in you after learning you are seeing someone new. These histrionics will not allow you to settle in and have a healthy, comfortable relationship. Conversely don’t pursue your ex-girlfriend solely because you can’t stand to see her with someone else. Resist the urge to ask her out again if your true motivation is to keep her from another man.

Pregnancy is a sticky situation. Unfortunately some women invent a pregnancy to weasel their way back into a relationship that would otherwise be over. There are two separate issues here you need to address: is she truly pregnant and is the baby yours? A home pregnancy test is not always reliable. If she is professing her pregnancy and naming you as the father, don’t voice any doubts. Make an appointment and meet her at her doctor’s office for a blood serum test. If you suspect she would make up a phantom pregnancy in an effort to win you back, don’t risk your personal safety by driving her to the appointment alone. Meet her there or bring another (preferably male) friend along.

If she isn’t pregnant avoid any contact with her. Consider a restraining order if she persists after you have cut off all contact with her. A positive pregnancy test is another matter. Honestly assess the likelihood of another man fathering her baby. Even if you doubt she was with anyone else, insist on a paternity test. You can do this without making any waves if you are on the baby’s birth certificate. The sooner you challenge the baby’s paternity, the less likely you are to be stuck paying for the child’s needs for the next 20 years.

You will evaluate your personal values for guiding your decision to resume a relationship with your ex-girlfriend on account of her pregnancy. Do you feel morally obligated to marry her for the sake of the baby? Will you be comfortable with the possibility another man may be raising your child? The answers to these questions lie within you and no one else can answer them for you.

Don’t ever resume a relationship – for any reason – if she is physically or verbally abusive. These traits tend to worsen over time and seldom improve. Oftentimes there is an underlying problem of alcohol or drug addiction or mental illness. Wait until she has undergone treatment for her problems before considering inviting her back into your life. Keep in mind it takes at least two years without incident before you can consider her tendencies managed.

Dating an ex-girlfriend can be an affirmation of the wonderful things that made your relationship work the first time around. Maybe some time apart can enable you to appreciate even her quirks. Good luck!

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What's flirting and what's cheating?

I can't count the amount of times I've been approached by a friend who struggles with these definitions. Usually an episode within their love-life brings some serious questions into their minds. Where does the line of flirting begin and end? Can flirting be considered cheating? Can flirting lead to cheating? In marriage, what are the rules?

First of all, I looked up the word, flirting, and two definitions came up. In the first instance, flirting is defined as, "playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest". In the second occurrence, the definition of the word is, "to behave amorously without serious intent, to show superficial or casual interest". The text definitions are as contrary as the opinions of married and dating people around the world. Some people might ask themselves why a married person would want to flirt with another person other than their spouse. It's a question that fuels a fire in the mind.

The truth of the matter is that flirting seems to be a harmless interaction between friends or acquaintances.

With that being said, there should be a line that isn't ignored or crossed. When you're dating someone casually, there are no rules in the game. Being married is a whole different world...a world of commitment and promises. And with those promises come a responsibility to your partner to be faithful.

No one is expected to live in an impenetrable bubble within marriage but there is an invisible boundary when it comes to flirting. When the line is crossed, it will be obvious. Flirting can lead to cheating (so can an otherwise platonic friendship that does not normally include flirtation but I digress). It can be dangerous. It isn't a black and white issue. It is filled with grey. Flirting can even, at times, be perceived and considered as cheating.

Flirting ends...
When either person within the equation begins to touch and speak in a more palpable manner, and it isn't stopped.(This example alone would be considered outright cheating)
You would rather be out there flirting and looking for someone new. (cheating or intending to do so)

You flirt, but your spouse doesn't see it. You do it when they aren't around. This type of behavior means you have something to hide from your partner.

When you start talking in detail about sex tips and intimate desires. This can always lead to more of the same thing or more of a physical thing.

When you're online chatting becomes more like a virtual love-making session. There has been some controversy on this topic. Some have argued that this as a harmless way to express their sexual desires. Truth is, it’s healthy to express those desires to your spouse, not a stranger.

You take off your wedding ring because you don't want your cute coworker to know you're unavailable. Again, you would be making yourself seem free to be with anyone you want. This welcomes flirtation and possibly more.

Cheating, otherwise known as adultery, is defined formally as, voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse. There is only one definition and it is clearly worded.

When you're married, there are no rules but the ones you decide to implement. A couple, together must define the limitations within their union. When you both have different definitions of these words, it tends to make problems.

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Feng Shui Colors For Rooms

Feng shui embodies the artistic creation of staging our surroundings in order to correspond to the current of naturally occurring energy coming from the universe. Clutter, darkness, unconventional use of colours, and other emotional factors that direct a negative subject matter and a lot pf additional elements contribute to breaking this energetic balance or the chi. This is among the reasons for which feng shui enthusiasts will emphasise so a great deal of the importance of feng shui colors for rooms whether at home or at the office. Even when feng shui principles are soundly abided by the one and only matter that remains to be acted upon is to implement these principles in accordance with the disposition of the household dwellers.

Therefore, the correct feng shui colours for rooms depend upon the purpose of that specific division of the home. Bedrooms for example function better in pale, more relaxing colours like blues, greens, lavender, pink and any shades more or less the colour of the skin from white to cocoa brown. Brilliant colours will never work in a resting place. One inevitably needs to go for the vibrant touch in the feng shui colours for rooms while decorating the work niche which could be the study, the sitting room and even the kitchen. Deciding on combinations of energizing colours wherever you find the need for inspiration will give you the energy you need and still have a calming effect.

Therefore, orangish and yellowish colours are the feng shui colours for rooms wherever concentration and activity call for an encouraging boost. For the extremely personal room, pink found in the class of deep fuchsia is fantastic since it indicates attachment and heightens romantic intuitive feelings and passions. Keeping in mind the reality that every colour creates a statement and although some give the impulse to boldness and love, others lead to serenity and peace of mind. The chi flowing in one's home is the final result not entirely of the deliberate choice of feng shui colours for rooms but also the combined essence of furnishings, pieces of furniture, designing lines and particularly the personality of the household dwellers ultimately.

The feng shui colours for rooms could be combined according to the Ba-Gua, the eight-grid chart that takes into consideration the central points, the five components and their corresponding colors. For each division of a room, a certain colour establishes dominance and intensifies a positive chi flow. Be sure to take a look at such a feng shui colour graph in order to better ascertain the interior design. Acknowledgment must be made that it is a lot easier to establish the combinations when decorating or re-decorating than afterwards. The contours and shapes of the objects and the manner in which the light falls on certain corners likewise affects the positive or negative chi flow; so be sure to touch on these aspects as well for the most beneficial of outcomes.

Feng Shui Colors For Rooms will help give you an understanding of how better to use colors and design to help achieve an emotional balance in your everyday decor. This will lead to enhanced creativity and productivity in all areas of your life.

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Family Communication Help: Talking to dying family members

Many find it difficult communicating with a loved one who is dying. Some fear that if the inevitable is mentioned that somehow what would be said could encourage the loved one to give up hope. Others believe that the depth of such conversations is uncomfortable for both the one who is to remain as well as for the one who is to leave.

However, many who have surmounted such obstacles report much relief that such conversations were made prior to the person's death. They report that the conversations were a great comfort after the loved one passed on. The purpose of this article is to provide tips for how to initiate such dialogue.

Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley are two hospice nurses who carefully recorded and organized their experiences with the dying. Their book, "Final Gifts" provides much insight into the needs of both loved ones and those who are facing death. Their book identifies several recurring themes in the language of those who are terminally ill.

Specifically, the messages of the dying fall into two basic categories, according to Calanan and Kelley: attempts by the ill one to describe what it is the dying one is experiencing, and requests for something that a person needs for a peaceful death. Typically, the one in transition attempts to include their loved ones in visions. Some visions are of other loved ones who have moved beyond. Others are descriptions of spiritual beings whom they attest are there to help them with the transition. Interestingly, Calanan and Kelley's experiences report that these encounters leave the ill one with an absence of fear; instead, the dying express concern for those who will be left behind.

Sometimes, the visions include distant, even unknown places. However, attempts to describe these places tend to be impossible for the ill one to describe adequately, unless what they describe is of a place to which they have traveled in the past. What is common in both experiences is a sense of awe and wonderment in the detail and beauty of the places, despite not always being able to describe what it is that was seen.

Calanan and Kelley label these messages as 'Nearing Death Awareness' and report that the definition is different from a 'Near Death Experience.' Although similar, there are important distinctions. In their viewpoint, a near-death experience happens suddenly-as a result of a drowning, heart attack, or traffic accident, for example-while Near Death Awareness develops in people dying slowly of progressive illnesses, such as cancer, AIDS, and lung disease. In Near Death Awareness, the process is gradual, allowing the person to remain inside the body, but at the same time affording him/her with the opportunity to become aware of a dimension that lies beyond.

Ironically, the language of the dying is easily missed by loved ones, as the dying one will use familiar expressions, gestures or even objects as potent metaphors for what it is they are seeing and experiencing. Advanced listening skills are needed. For instance, the authors reported that patients often complained of wanting to go 'home.' However, in pursuing the question further, the authors discovered 'home' was not a current abode but the next transition into death.

Unfortunately, denial runs strong in families who prefer to provide false hope for the loved one. However, it takes too much energy to sustain this fiction-energy that is limited for the one who is ill. Listening with intent can be the gateway to unveil what is actually happening. The loved one and the ill one have a need to ask and to explain what it is each is experiencing. In this manner, both can serve as allies in the process.

Some messages even relate that the ill one is aware of when death will occur. Although not true in every case, some ill persons can be very specific as to the day and time of death. Again, many of these references are veiled and not understood until after the death of the person. Loved ones report a sense of comfort in knowing that the ill one had a sense of when and was not panicked by the death itself.

Some ill persons request for specific things that they need for a peaceful death to occur. For instance, some wish to return to a place in the past or desire to go to a place of which they have dreamed. These places represent symbols of happiness for the ill one of which they want one more, or one last, look.

Other ill persons desire to reconcile a relationship that has been difficult up until now. They might request a meeting with the person, even if the other has not been in contact for many years. For many, this reconciliation will occur in close proximity of the death, leaving loved ones with the sense that this resolution was what was needed in order for death to happen.

Calanan and Kelley suggest that loved ones pursue with interested questions when the ill one speak. Instead of assuming understanding, they recommend that loved ones ask, "what are you seeing? Tell me more about what you mean." These suggestions can allow the ill one to expound upon the experience. Also, nonverbal pointing or restlessness can also pinpoint a possible 'vision' or experience. If the ill one can no longer talk, ask him/her to blink once for 'yes' and twice for 'no.'

In conclusion, the process of dying can be either a traumatic time or a time of love for both the loved one and the dying one. The determining factor tends to be how open either is to sharing what it is that is felt or experienced. For more information on the subject, read "Final Gifts" and visit a hospice organization in your area. Hospice will be happy to provide much information on what both can expect and what should be shared.

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Improve your relationship with your father

It is impossible to move forward in a relationship with your father if you have not come to terms with the past.

DON’T IGNORE THE PAST
Many father and daughter relationships are fraught with problems and unresolved resentment and anger. It is impossible to move forward in a relationship with your father if you have not come to terms with the past. You have to address your issues with your dad if you want to get past them.

If you are the product of a divorced household, then you might have a lot of past issues to deal with as a result. Maybe you lived with your mother, and you grew up hearing about how horrible of a husband and a person your father was. It can be hard to overcome the resentment that has been growing in you if you feel that your father wronged your mother in some way. Perhaps after your parents got a divorce, you hardly ever saw your dad. Maybe he remarried a woman that you hated. Maybe you felt like after he remarried, he forgot about you and started a new family. Maybe you remember your father yelling at your mother before they got a divorce. Maybe your mother lost all of her money and her home as the result of a bitter divorce. Maybe your parents divorced as a result of your father’s infidelity, and you haven’t trusted him since.

If you felt that your father never respected your mother, then you may not respect him. Even if you are not the product of divorce, there are still plenty of father issues that you may be contending with. Maybe your father was a total workaholic, and he spent very little time with you when you were growing up. Maybe he was a severe disciplinarian who you feel stifled your happiness as a child and impeded your development into a healthy adult. Maybe you felt that he was never supportive of you, or you felt that he didn’t show you the affection and love that you deserved. Maybe your father was an alcoholic who flew into violent drunken rages when you were young. Maybe he was a slacker who constantly lost jobs and was unable to support the family. Whatever your past with your father is, you have to come to terms with it if you want to make progress with your relationship with your father.

FORGIVE

Sometimes when you grow up, you realize that the reasons that you resented your father were not warranted. However, other times, you realize that your father was wrong to act the way he did and to do the things he did when you were growing up. You have to make a choice: to forgive or not to forgive; to have a relationship with your father or not to; to hang onto the past or to embrace the future. Your father is human, and humans are imperfect.

While it is common for a child to think of her father as impervious and larger than life, as an adult you have to accept the reality that your father has tragic flaws just like anyone else. You do not need to pretend that the mistakes that your father made in the past did not exist, but if you want to move forward and improve your relationship, then you do have to forgive him. You should love your father unconditionally, as he should love you. Even if you feel that he doesn’t deserve it, you still deserve to give your relationship with your father a chance to thrive. It should never be too late to open your heart to a family member, especially someone as close as your father.

Give your father a chance to explain to you why he made the mistakes he made – you may not think the reasons are good enough, but like it or not, they are the reasons. Just because something is not an excuse does not mean it is not the reason. If you let go of your anger and resentment, you will feel renewed. It is amazing how much forgiveness can help your personal growth.

LET HIM INTO YOUR LIFE
Relationships require maintenance. If you are trying to improve your relationship with your father, then you have to make keeping in touch with him a priority. Weekly phone calls are a great way to stay up to date on each other’s lives. You should also try to visit each other as often as possible, especially if you have children. Even if your father wasn’t the best dad in the world, he should still have a chance to be the best grandpa he can be. If you have any love in your heart for your father, then you should pursue a relationship. If you don’t give it a try, you will regret it.

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How to Accept a Spouse’s Annoying Habits

All married couples went through this. We married the person whom we thought is perfect, only to find out when we are living together with them that we can’t stand their stinky feet, their thunderous snores, the careless eating, the way they squeeze the toothpaste tube, the clutter they make around the house, etc. There are certain habits our spouse does that drive us crazy. Here are few suggestions what to do to accept them and still show 24/7 that we honor our vows to love them for better or for worse:

Step1--- Communicate with your spouse about his/her personal mannerisms and habits that annoy you. Letting the other person know that those actions bother you will call his/her attention. Habits are done unconsciously most of the time and your spouse may not know that you are affected by them. Talk kindly and with an open mind. Be willing to listen, too. By sharing with your spouse those habits and their effect on you, you are opening the door of communication and understanding both ways. It is much easier to accept the habit if you feel you are heard and acknowledged than being ignored.

Step2 ---Be considerate. If you don’t like your spouse not cutting his nails on time or stacking dirty dishes on the sink without washing them, maybe he didn’t have time to do it right away. Instead of constantly fussing about it, try to put yourself in his shoes and imagine what he has to go thru his normal day. Maybe is too busy and can’t find the time to do what you wish him to do. If that’s the case, help him out by keeping your mouth shut and doing those tasks yourself. Practicing empathy when you are dealing with your spouse’s annoying habits will soften you and make you more accepting towards them.

Step3 ---Have a sense of humor. It’s hard to laugh about something annoying that your spouse does but practicing yourself in seeing the funny side of it makes you feel better. In my experience I used to get so annoyed when my husband asked me to scratch his back every time I was about to sleep. I complained about it and told him to reserve his scratchy feeling some other time when I wasn’t very sleepy. But I scratched him anyway and while I did that one time I came up with an idea. While scratching him with my fingers, I wrote random messages on his back to keep me awake. I did not know he was reading them and gave me back his replies in his sleepy voice. It made us laugh. Now it gets better for us and though I’m still annoyed sometimes, I learn to accept that part of him.

Step4 ---Change your focus. Instead of continuously aiming your attention at your spouse’s annoying habits, learn to change your perspective on your spouse’s wonderful side. You will be surprised to find out that he/she has more qualities worthy of praise which you have overlooked.

Step5 ---Use criticism sparingly. If you can’t hold your tongue, try your best to make it constructive. If you constantly put down or criticize your spouse about something that he does or doesn’t do that annoys you, he/she may get defensive and instead of trying to change those habits to make both of you happy, he/she will do the opposite. This is not healthy in your relationship.

Step6 ---Love without regrets and reaffirm it everyday. You married your spouse because you love him/her. If there are other reasons other than that, you will have a hard time adjusting and accepting your spouse as he/she is. Remind yourself everyday how much you value your spouse’s presence in your life, dwell in that feeling, and you will notice that your spouse’s annoying habits are insignificant in the overall picture of your marriage life.

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Appreciate Your Wife to Boost Your Relationship

In this day in time appreciation is something that all wives need. Wives will be in a much better mode with their spouses if they felt true appreciation. This article will teach you the basics on some things you can do to show your appreciation and love for her.

• Tell her frequently how much she means to you and leave all negativity and criticism at the door. The reason for this is because women get aroused by the way they are treated and talked to. Don't just treat her like a queen before you marry her and when you get married leave all the compliments to the trash men or postal workers. Tell her yourself, it does not have to be every day but it does need to be often.
• Take on responsibility, we know that at times men tend to work hard. But remember that you have a role to fulfill in the home. If you act invisible, she will treat you invisible. Get off your but and help around the house. I never understand why some men are quick to help others and don't do a thing at home. Help your wife, take some of the pressure off of her. If you don't somebody else will.
• Take her out on dates, at least once a month. Get her nails, toes or hair done. Show her that you care about her and her appearance. If a woman is feeling good and looks good. She will treat you good, especially in the bedroom. Just truly make an effort to help, help the kids when homework. Volunteer to be the one to have a conference with the teacher when the time rolls around. These are just some simple tips to get things moving in the right direction.
  

Tips & Warnings

When trying to appreciate your wife, mean it from your heart.

Do not complain or talk negative about anything, find ways to express your self positively and when the time is right.

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Conflict With Friends?--How to Agrue Respectfully

There is a right way and a wrong way to argue. The word argue does not have to mean something ugly and disturbing. The key thing is that both people have an opinion and both people want to be heard.

• It is important to learn how to argue respectfully. When two people have a difference of opinion, it is important to remember that everyone does not think like we do.
• When you have a difference of opinion, earn the right to be heard. This is done by politely listening the the other person's opinion. Don't pretend to listen but listen to hear, so that you can gain some understanding.
• After the person has stated their point, tell them that you understand how the could feel that way. It is important to empathize with others, which also helps them to lower their guard.
• Now, calmly repeat what the other person has stated to you back to them. This will make sure there is no miss-communication between you.
• Now, calmly state your opinion to the person. Hopefully they will be able to understand your point of view as well. It is more important to be heard that to be right. When you argue respectfully, you are sure to be better results.

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How to Know if You're a Sex Addict

While most people believe a "sex addiction" isn't a real condition, it is! More and more Americans are literally dealing with sex addictions as of today. While sex addictions were untreatable in earlier years, there are now numerous ways to cure this addiction including medication. Follow these easy steps to determine if you're a sex addict!

Your Mindstate: Ask yourself do you think about sex all the time? This can be any and everywhere you're at such as work, school or home. Do you sit and think on places to have sex? Keeping sex on the brain all the time is a giveaway sign for a sex addiction.

The Opposite Sex: Do you look at people of the opposite sex in their face when you first meet them or do you look at their body? Alot of times sex addicts look at the "goods" first, as oppose to the face.

Your Relationship: If you are in a relationship, do you constantly wish to have sex all the time? Do you wish to have sex with your girlfriend/boyfriend 24 hours a day? Are there problems in your relationship to your high demand for sex all the time?

Adult Content: When you're watching TV or online, do you view lots of adult content such as nude pics, movies etc.? If you do view nude picture and adult content, do you masturbate while viewing? If so, this is another sure sign of a sexual addiction.

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Tips on How To Buy a Sex Toy

Maybe your boyfriend is busy with school and work. Many are tempted to cheat, but don't just get a sex toy. It can be just as fun, your can satisfy yourself (maybe better than he at times), and you might find a cute outfit to wear next time you see him.

• Online- First look online.

Check out the stores before you go out to shop. Look online to see what types of sex toys are out there. Find out what you like and write down the product name and manufacturer. Google these online to see what people have to say about them.

• Go to the store by yourself.

It may be tempting to bring a girlfriend for laughs or guidance, but it may cause you to get embarrassed, buy something you don't like because of his/her influence, or not get anything. Remember there is nothing wrong with sex toys, they just help meet a need when your man can't. Think which is preferable a sex toy (innocent piece of plastic or rubber) or being tempted to cheat. Even if you never would, you still want to avoid temptation.

• Smile when you are shopping, it will help make you more comfortable.

If someone says "Hi" reciprocate. You don't want to act like this is a covert operation, because then it will start to feel that way. Sex is natural, and sex toys are too.

• Last but not least, go early in the morning.

The shop will likely be relatively empty. This will give you more opportunity to talk to the salesperson, since I'm pretty sure there is a no return policy, you don't want to be well informed. The people who work at the shops are typically familiar with all of the product and give guide you.

Tips & Warnings

--Shop until you flop (down in ecstasy ). Realize your first toy may not be the only one you ever need.

--Have fun and enjoy yourself- this is a treat for you.

--Get something for your guy too. Get a toy for you and a sexy outfit to wear for him. This way it is a win win situation (and you likely won't have to worry if he sees a sex shop receipt).

--Follow the toy directions (including cleaning) carefully.

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Seduce a Girl on the Phone

So you have got her phone number and are contemplating of calling her up - but stuck at the thought of not knowing what to talk about. When it comes to 'phone game', it is really different from, say, approaching a girl at the club - irrespective of whether you are calling her up for the first or the eleventh time. There is a bigger risk attached to seduction on the phone because you will need to be quick on your feet all the time - once the conversation become stale she will hang up the phone. There are some quick tips which you can use to make your chances better - master these techniques and girls will absolutely love talking to you. Read on to discover these tactics and be unstoppable over the phone...

How To Seduce A Girl On The Phone - Three Essential Tactics

Tactic Number One - "The First Hurdle - Humor". Aim to get her to laugh in the first 3 minutes. That is your one and only goal for the start of the conversation. Once you get her to laugh, you will be able to 'hook' her for the next couple of minutes.

Tactic Number Two - "The Second Hurdle - Cliffhanger". Once you have reached the 'hook' point - tell her an interesting story, but reserve the ending for the next call. This will pique her curiosity and make her want to talk to you more.

Tactic Number Three - "Fractionation". When talking to her, bring her through an emotional rollercoaster - make her feel both happiness AND sadness, pleasure AND pain. This will give her the 'drama' that she secretly wants in her life. This technique, called fractionation, is lifted from the field of hypnosis, and is reputed to be able to make women fall in love in as little as 14 minutes.
You must heed this warning...
Fractionation is considered as a 'dark art' tactic, and while controversial, it is known to be one of the most effective tactics ever invented by underground seductionists.

These psychology tactics are highly unconventional techniques that are used by the secret elite in the seduction community. Use at your own risk. I personally vouch for the effectiveness of these tactics, but care must be taken as they could be outright dangerous in the hands of the unscrupulous.

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Listening Skill - Knowing How to Listen Effectively

Communication plays a major role in any kind of relationship. However, it is one of the most misunderstood words in the English dictionary. Most people would automatically think of "communication" as talking, when actually it is not just that. It is a two-way street, where talking and listening are of equal importance. Some experts even say that a good listening skill may hold the key to a successful relationship, because it could make or break one. There are three essential ways of careful listening, which we will discuss one by one. The first type of listening is paraphrasing, or repeating something that someone has just told you, in your own words.

is actually helpful in understanding what the other person has just stated on a deeper level. Especially during an argument, paraphrasing may help calm the other person and prevent the conversation from turning into a spiteful disagreement. A pause in a conversation can give one a chance to re-phrase what the other person has just said-this can make one's partner feel that they have not just wasted their breath, and their words have fallen on kind, considerate and caring ears. By doing so, one's partner becomes more confident to be completely honest in expressing their thoughts and feelings. Another type of listening skill is by asking an open question.

There are actually two types of question: the open and the closed one. A closed question is answerable by a simple "yes" or "no", while an open question requires further explanation, and does not necessarily require a yes or no answer. In short, an open question requires a person to answer in depth, and allows further thought and conversation. Then there is feeling of reflection, which is a process of active listening wherein a person expresses an emotion that he/she has experienced in response to what another person has just said. For instance, if a colleague casually mentions that she needs a much-needed vacation to keep her sanity, you might respond by saying "You can say that again!" This is a keen manner of conveying your own feeling based on what she has just said.

Feeling reflections can be very tricky, because it requires one to listen intently not only to what is being said but also to be sensitive as to what specific emotion the other person is trying to express. This means that one has to pay close attention both to the speaker's voice (and how it is being used) and to their body language as well. So how can a one develop a better listening skill? Listening actually involves 3 processes: hearing, understanding and analysis. It requires conscious effort, contrary to what a lot of people seem to believe. A person who has mastered the listening skill is very well aware of both the verbal and emotional information that is being communicated during the conversation.

It may even require one to know how to 'read between the lines", especially if the conversation is between a man and a woman. Take advantage of pauses between conversations-it is a moment when one can reflect on what the speaker has just said. Use it as an opportunity to ask any questions that might come up in your mind to make things crystal clear.

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50th Anniversary Music Ideas

The 50th anniversary music that you choose for your party is important - there is nothing worse than a deadly silent room, music helps conversation flow and will provide the entertainment as well. A few dances, the humming a favorite song and "do you remember what we were doing when this was playing?" all help the party along.

You can find compilation albums specific to 1950s and 1960s which would make providing the music easier and then you could add in your anniversary couples favorite music from the last 50 years. Are they big into country, folk, blues, jazz or even big bands?

If you have a mixture of ages coming to the party then it would be a good idea to have a few classic party songs that guarantee everyone will get up and dance.

Have a look at what the popular songs are at weddings at the moment, you may be surprised at the number of classic and older songs that are played. Especially for that all important first dance!
-Angels by Robbie Williams
-Everything I do, I do for You by Bryan Adams
-You're Beautiful by James Blunt
-When I Fall in Love by Nat King Cole.

You will also need background music to play during the party , you could have a CD of love songs or ask all the musically talented members of the family and friends to provide some of the entertainment. They may only need to do one song or play for a short period if you have lots of volunteers - this could be their 50th wedding anniversary gift to the anniversary couple!

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5 Natural Ways to Combat Divorce Depression

Depression strikes many people at one point or another in their lives. Divorce is a difficult life transition, and it is common to experience depression during the process and afterward. Symptoms may include persistent sadness, hopelessness, anxiety about the future, loss of enjoyment in activities, and changes in sleep patterns and appetite. While severe cases of depression may require a pharmaceutical approach, many milder cases of depression may be treated using natural methods.

Here are 5 natural ways to combat the depression involved in divorce:

1. Eat right. Addressing your physical health is important during this time, since the mind and body are intricately connected. The health of one impacts the health of the other. Try eating fresh vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, and whole grains. Avoid foods that are highly processed or that contain a lot of sugar. If you struggle with appetite, carry around a variety of high protein snacks that you can eat throughout the day in small amounts. If you tend to comfort eat or overeat, make sure you do not eat while distracted, such as when watching television. Try setting a time in the evening past which you will not eat.

2. Try supplementation. Start with a good, food based multivitamin. Add in a calcium supplement, especially if you do not eat a lot of calcium rich foods. Fish oil is an excellent supplement to combat depression. Among its many benefits is improvement in brain health. You can take 5 HTP (hydroxytryptophan), a natural antidepressant that is a precursor to serotonin, a natural brain neurotransmitter involved in mood regulation. L-Theanine is frequently taken in conjunction with 5 HTP, and is a good anti-anxiety supplement.

3. Set up a doctor approved exercise program. Cardiovascular is the ideal form of exercise to do, as it encourages the release of endorphins, compounds that elevate mood. Choose an activity or activities that elevate your heart rate over a sustained period of time. An added bonus to exercise is that it will improve physical health and body image as well as lift your spirits.

4. Talk things out. Divorce is a hard transition, and a good counselor can help you process the whys and what nows. Having a professional, trained perspective is very helpful. Enlist the support of friends and family as well, for emotional support as well as companionship to help fill the void of your missing partner.

5. Do one kind thing for yourself each day. Make a list of little things that you enjoy doing, and choose one to do each day. Cross it off your list, and when that list is exhausted, make a new one.

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Teach You to Read Female Body Language

Women are mysterious and complicated beings. Therefore, if you are like any guy on the face of planet earth, chances are pretty good that have some trouble understanding what a woman is trying to tell you. Fortunately, there are a few telltale signs that nearly all females display, and this tutorial will get you on your way to reading female body language in a social setting.

step1
Look at her stance. If she is standing with her arms crossed, that is a sure sign that she doesn’t want to be approached. In any instance where she is physically closed off, or turned away from you, it is not a good time to try and initiate conversation. Contrarily, if she is in a neutral stance with her arms relaxed and at her side, it is an invitation to initiate a conversation. If she happens to be sitting, any major body part such as a leg or knee that is pointed in your direction is another surefire sign that she wants to interact with you.

Step2
Look at her face. There are so many nuances that can read simply by looking at a persons expressions. Any lingering eye contact, or even when you look to her and catch her staring are great signs. Similarly, a lick of the lips or a flutter of the eyelashes are subconscious tics that many women use to show that they are interested in you. Zero eye contact, or a lingering look to the left while in the midst of conversation is a sign that things aren’t going so well, and you might want to back off or try another tactic to get her attention.

Step3
Look for certain mannerisms or tics that she keeps repeating.
A nearly universal tic for women to show interest in a man is to constantly fix and play with her hair. This demonstrates that she is making herself pretty for him. Be observant, any repetition is generally a good thing, as it shows that you are doing something that would merit a positive response more than once. Don't get discouraged though, as reading body language is a skill that takes time and effort. However, if you stick with it, you should see positive results begin to crop up in all of your future interactions.

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Things not to tell a guy you want to marry

In beginning a dating relationship, it may take some time to get comfortable with the other person. But as you get acquainted, it is tempting to share deeply held secrets or private longings that you hope will bond the two of you.

Be careful! Confessing secrets or expressing desires too early in a relationship can frighten the most grounded guy. Here are some of the scariest topics to avoid until the two of you have had time to get to know one another:

1. "I'm looking for a marriage partner." Any version of this statement can be a real turn-off for many men. They often feel like a commodity in the marketplace that you're checking out with a view to buying. Even if you do hope to marry in the next year or two, keep quiet about your plans until you find out whether this guy is the one. Even then, let him take the initiative in the commitment department. Many guys do not respect girls who take the lead, fearing her aggressiveness bodes ill for a long-term relationship.

2. "I don't know where my money goes." If you mean this seriously, and a great deal of the time, your newfound dating partner may take this as a hint to duck out the back door. No one wants to feel like he will have to support someone who isn't responsible enough to care for herself. While all of us run short occasionally, those who make a habit of it can cause real snarls in a romance that could otherwise be headed for Honeymoon Haven. Learn to manage your income and bills, and don't mention financial problems to someone you're dating unless they're severe and you want him to know up front before getting serious.

3. "I can't stand your mother." Back off from this one. No guy likes to hear that you don't like his family. If you want to give this romance a fighting chance, keep quiet about your potential future in-laws. Better yet, cultivate a positive relationship by sending encouraging notes or funny e-mails, and always demonstrate respect for any member of your guy friend's family.

4. "I can't wait to have kids." This is another sizzler that tells the man you are looking for an assembly line marriage. Each relationship is unique, and it is best to discuss the prospect of having children with a man who may be seriously thinking about getting engaged. If your male friend is still in college or unhappily employed, the last thing he wants is the image of a dependent family whose needs ensure that he get and keep any possible job for their support. Give the relationship time to blossom before discussing projected dreams.

5. "I think you should change your work schedule so we can go out more." This sounds like a demanding wife already, someone who plans to force her desires above her husband's needs. A job schedule has to take priority over a social calendar whether one party likes it or not. Girls who come across as demanding, controlling, or self-centered are likely to be passed over as marriage material. Work on developing compassion for the man in your life in terms of his job and his personal interests. Put your agenda on hold--indefinitely--except for things that truly matter.

Watch your words, ladies, if you want a guy to fall for you and stick around. Otherwise, he may get the hint early on and will be gone without a trace before you know it.

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Common marriage problems after children

Some married couples experience problems once they have a baby. There are often changes in a couple’s sex life, and many women have insecurities about their bodies after having a baby. Married couples have to accept the reality that life is going to change – forever – once they start a family. Sometimes men feel rejected and unloved by their wives because of the amount of time she is devoting to caring for their baby or children. Some women feel resentment towards their husbands because they don’t feel like their husband is involved enough in taking care of the children and household. Husbands and wives need to understand that they have to work together as a parenting team and they also cannot forget to foster and nourish their relationship as a couple.

Many married couples experience a major slow-down in their sex lives once they begin having children. Women often feel differently about their bodies after childbirth, and they become insecure and less comfortable being intimate. Often, women gain a substantial amount of weight during pregnancy, and they have a hard time dropping the excess pounds after they give birth because they are so overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a new mommy.

It can be very hard for women to regain their self-esteem and reclaim a positive body image. A woman who used to feel great ripping her clothes off and getting naked before making love with the lights on may feel like hiding herself and keeping the lights off -- if she even wants to be intimate at all -- after she has a baby. Many husbands have a hard time understanding why their wives cannot just relax about their post-childbirth looks.

A good husband loves his wife and sees her as the most beautiful woman in the world; he thinks that his wife looks wonderful, even with a few extra pounds on after having a baby. The last thing that a man should do is comment on his wife’s changed appearance in a negative way. Doing so will seal his fate on the couch and out of the bed. The bottom line is that sex and physical intimacy are important aspects of a marriage, and they shouldn’t be neglected. It is certainly understandable that your sex life will not be as spicy as it has been in the past for several months after a child is born. Both spouses will be very busy and sleep-deprived, and women will still be physically recovering from the delivery itself.

Husbands should reassure their wives that they are sexy and attractive. Do not let the romance and chivalry die in your relationship just because you are now parents. Make sure that you keep the love alive – write your wife a poem, bring home flowers, cover the bed in rose petals. You have to put in an effort – more of an effort that you had to put in before you had a kid or kids – but it will be worth it in a major way.

Wives have to remember that although they are mothers now, they still have to be attentive and loving to their husbands. You may feel all “nurtured out” by the time your husband gets home from work, but your husband needs your love, just as you need his. If you are a stay-at-home mom, you should try not to forget about the hard work that your husband does outside the home. This is not to say that your work at home isn’t just as hard; in fact, it’s harder.

However, your husband has to know that you are proud of him and you are happy that he is financially providing for your family. Ask him how his day was – don’t just dive into a laundry list of all the chaos that you experienced in your own day. Send him off with a kiss every morning, and an “I love you.” Don’t be resentful of the fact that your husband gets to go into work for eight hours a day while you have a round-the-clock job. If you don’t want to be a stay-at-home mom, then don’t be one. If you do want to be a stay-at-home mom, then embrace your life and don’t punish your husband for what he is doing to support your family monetarily.

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Reminding your husband of your anniversary

A wedding anniversary is a couple’s opportunity to renew their love and commitment. Many husbands, however, tend to forget anniversaries. This is not because they’ve forgotten their vows or that they love their wives any less, but the date simply slips their minds. Wives, on the other hand, rarely forget anniversaries. Because most wedding planning is the bride’s responsibility, the wedding and subsequent anniversary date is foremost in her mind long before the couple is married. Gown fittings must be scheduled, invitations printed and mailed, sites reserved, RSVPs counted, and vendors confirmed all with that single date looming in the not-too-distant future. It is natural, then, that women remember anniversaries more easily.

Furthermore, most women readily plan all special occasions, including birthdays, holidays, and family gatherings, and anniversaries naturally fall under that planning umbrella.

There are many unobtrusive ways to remind your husband about your anniversary. However you choose to drop hints, be sensitive to his schedule by providing him plenty of planning time. For example, if your anniversary happens to fall during a week when he has an important meeting, project deadline, or other pressing business, you may need to begin reminders earlier so he has ample time to act. Reminding him too early, however, may not be effective unless you use multiple techniques. For instance, if you drop the first hint about an early June anniversary in late April, he may not recognize that it is six weeks away, but rather that it’s two months away, and your reminders will go unheeded. By using different techniques during the several weeks leading up to your anniversary, you insure that at least a few reminders are noticed.

A popular way to remind your husband of your anniversary is to highlight the date on a prominent calendar. Draw a large heart around the day, paste a small wedding photo on the calendar, or otherwise use a visual clue to draw attention to the date. Each calendar should be similarly highlighted – his personal planner, daily calendars, wall calendars, and electronic notebooks. This way, no matter which calendar he prefers, the reminder is there. This may not be effective, however, if your anniversary is early in the month and he will not notice the reminder until the new month begins.

A countdown is a useful reminder method no matter when your anniversary falls. You could send e-cards or other small, romantic notes saying that even though your anniversary isn’t for several days, weeks, or even a month, you can’t wait to celebrate with him. These reminders could be daily or weekly notes counting down to the event, and even though they are effective tools to remind your husband, they also demonstrate your love by showing that you want to celebrate with him for longer than that single day.

Your behavior can include many subtle hints about an approaching anniversary. Cleaning your wedding or engagement ring and showing him how gorgeous it is, with appropriate comments about its age and significance, is a powerful reminder, especially if the ring was his family heirloom or if he chose it himself. Suggesting that the two of you look through your wedding photographs is another tactic that opens up many opportunities to mention the upcoming anniversary.

If any friends or relatives have anniversaries around yours, you can mention those dates as a subtle hint about your own anniversary. This is also a good way to drop potential gift hints as you comment on your friends’ celebrations and how romantic or special their gifts were. You can even ask your husband outright what he may want to do for your anniversary, or how much he thinks would be appropriate for a gift. While this may seem like a direct reminder, its subtlety comes from the fact that you’re actually asking what he’d like to do, rather than coaching him about what you would like.

If you’re concerned that subtle hints won’t be effective, consider enlisting accomplices. If you hint too frequently he may consider it nagging, but if other people remind him, he is more likely to take the advice to heart. A secretary or coworker could easily remind him about upcoming events, and his mother or other close relative or friend could remind him directly without appearing pushy. What may seem like nagging from you is more likely to be viewed as a friendly tip from someone else. When enlisting help, however, be certain that your accomplice does not reveal your part in the reminder.

For some husbands, the most effective reminder is just to be direct. Let him know that you really want to celebrate this special day with him, but you’re afraid of disappointment because he is busy at work or otherwise preoccupied. Letting him know how meaningful your anniversary is to you is a powerful reminder by itself, and can easily prompt him to take extraordinary measures to demonstrate his love.

As the years pass and your anniversary number grows higher, elaborate hints and frequent reminders are not likely to be necessary. Even if you do need to coax your husband’s memory each year, however, there is one crucial point you must never forget: he may not remember your anniversary date, but he never needs to be reminded of how much he loves you.

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