Feb 10, 2009

Flirting 101 for men

Flirting is a fine art that single men should learn to master. Good hygiene helps, and so does buying women drinks, being yourself, and avoiding cheesy lines.

--THE IMPORTANCE OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
There is nothing worse than trying to hit on someone with bad breath. Make sure that when you are out on the prowl, you are prepared with some mints. In fact, if you are out at the bar for happy hour with the guys, and you think there is a chance that you will be eating wings or pizza or nachos or something, you might even be doubly prepared by bringing some floss as well. Picture yourself trying to flirt with a beautiful woman with some celery stuck in your teeth – not good. You should do your best to avoid embarrassing breath and food-clad teeth. You should also smell your best. Get some cologne – one that costs more than thirty dollars – and spray it on before you hit the town. Don’t overdo it, though – you don’t want to be the infamous guy-with-too-much-cologne-on at the club. Of course, you should also be clean and freshly showered. You want to look fresh and smell even fresher. Comb your hair. Clip your nails. Shave the stubble off of your face. Your clothes should also be freshly laundered (if you have to do the smell test, then you shouldn’t be wearing it). Never wear wrinkled clothes out – it just looks sloppy, and women are far less likely to flirt with a sloppy guy than a guy who puts a little effort into looking good.

--BUY A DRINK, NO STRINGS ATTACHED
Buying a woman a drink is a classic move. It can yield great results, but you have to keep in mind that it isn’t a guarantee that the woman is going to want a date just because she takes the drink. There are two ways to go about buying a drink for a woman. The first is that you see a woman that you are interested in across the bar. You catch her eye, smile, and then look away, start talking to your pals again or something. Ask the bartender to send a drink over to her. If she is already drinking something, ask the bartender to bring her another, on you. When the bartender brings the drink over to the woman, he will point over to you and tell her that the drink is from you. She will probably look over, smile, and mouth the words “thank you.” A few minutes later, look back again and try to catch her eye. If she is avoiding eye contact with you, then you should not approach her – she is not interested. If she looks back at you and smiles again, then you should get up from your seat, walk over to the woman, introduce yourself, and try to start a flirtatious conversation. The second way to by a drink for a woman is to simply walk up to her (make sure she is not there with a date) and ask her if you can buy her a drink. If she says yes, then ask her what she would like, and order two of that drink: one for her and one for yourself. If she says no, then she either isn’t interested or she just doesn’t feel like drinking. Ask her if she would like a soda or something (giving her the impression that you are sure she just didn’t want an alcoholic drink, and that is fine with you). If she says no to that offer as well, then you should bow out gracefully – she is not interested. If she says yes, then buy her the drink, and start some conversation. She will be impressed that you weren’t just some guy trying to get her intoxicated and into your bedroom.

--NO LINES, PLEASE
Corny lines are a ticket to the land of rejection. In fact, women are truly mystified as to why men persist on using them in an attempt to flirt. If you see a beautiful woman who you would like to approach, resist the urge to ask her if she is tired from running through your mind all day. Trust me, she isn’t. Stick to compliments that are real and genuine. Walk over to the woman, introduce yourself, and tell her that she has a gorgeous smile – compliment her on one of her features that you are so attracted to (avoiding any features that are obviously inappropriate to mention). Cheesy lines will make a woman feel like she is just another potential conquest to you – you will seem like a player, a dangerous prowling bachelor on the hunt for a one-night stand. Flirting should be natural, not rehearsed.

--DON’T FORCE IT
You should never look at women the way a car salesman looks at cars. You are not trying to sell something; you are trying to meet someone. Flirting shouldn’t be forceful or overbearing – it should be light and fun, even humorous. Try being friendly and being yourself when you meet women. You shouldn’t be focused on trying to “land the deal.” If this woman turns out not to be a potential girlfriend/lover/wife, she still might turn out to be a great friend.
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