Step1--Think back to your earliest memories. If you feel as though you've always been different, you might be gay - but not all gay people felt that way.
Step2--Ignore the stereotypes. If you have some mannerisms that aren't usually associated with your gender, you aren't necessarily gay. The opposite is also true: not fitting the stereotypes doesn't mean you aren't gay.
Step3--Understand that "gay" and "straight" is not all there is. Research done by Kinsey decades ago showed that some people have desires exclusively for members of the same sex and others have feelings exclusively for the opposite sex, but many people are somewhere in between.
Step4--Consider whether you really feel as though you are or should be a member of the opposite sex. If so, you may be transgendered, which is not the same as being gay.
Step5--Examine your deepest feelings closely. It's perfectly normal for people - especially teenagers - to have a crush on someone of the same sex or to notice the attractiveness of someone of the same sex, but that doesn't mean you're gay unless your desires for the same sex are stronger than your desires for the opposite sex.
Step6--Try not to let society cloud your judgment about whether you're gay. Remember that both the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association said in the 1970s that nothing is wrong with being gay or lesbian.
Tips & Warnings
Labeling yourself isn't really necessary at all. It's important to be happy and perhaps to find someone to be happy with, but you don't have to accept any one label - and all the baggage that goes along with it. Take your time in deciding where you fall on the sexual orientation continuum. What's the rush? And remember, if you aren't happy in the kinds of relationships you've tried, you may - or may not - be happier if you try other kinds of relationships. Happiness is not always associated only with the sex of the person you're with.
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