Step1--Take a close look at your "dating skills" and see how you stack up, the quiz at bottom can help you do this.
Step2--*Get prepared* One thing that is crucial for your understanding, is the fact that everyday situations are one of the hardest places to talk to girls... period! [take the quiz in resources, to find out if you're ready]. It's incredibly easy to creep women out in these situations... That is unless you have some very very refined "approaching skills" and a very good social presence and charisma. The reason that this is crucial is because it can be the difference between a woman ignoring and brushing you off... or... her telling everyone of her friends about this AMAZING "it just happened" situation, and how she met you in this completely spontaneous and romantic event.
So how do you prepare and get these basic approaching, social and charismatic skills? Become a master at approaching and charming women in less-threatening situations. First and foremost go with: social organizations, social circles, clubs, yoga classes, dance clubs, friends of friends and talk to girls there. Then, go on to master how to talk to girls in clubs and bars. Do all of this until you are at the point where you can approach any woman in these situations, no matter how attractive and be able to have a charming, effortless conversation with her. [if you're not at that point yet, check out some of the resources at the bottom]
Are you at this point and you can talk to girls in average social situations with ease... and you're now ready to move on to the streets? Let's go with step number 2!
***Note, you can take the quiz mentioned at the resources section at the bottom if you want to see how you stack up***
Step3--The very first thing you will need to venture over into these areas is to first test them out by learning how to talk to *everyone*. That means, I want you to start talking to the old lady waiting in line, the guy who's crossing the pedestrian walk along side you, the cashier checking out your order, the security guard at the entrance, to foreign girls in the tourist agency... You get the point.
What do you talk to them about? Simple, innocuous comments and small-talk about whatever the situation happens to be around you will do just fine. For example: you pass by two women in the fruit isle, and start asking them if they can recommend how to choose the best apples... or maybe seeing a guy carrying your favorite sport team's dress and chatting him up about it by throwing some comment at him that only "fans" can know.
If you truly are at the level described in the preparation process (step 1)... you shouldn't have too much problem coming up with what to say or how to small-talk, so I think the examples above are sufficient.
When you get to the point where you naturally find yourself in 3-5 conversations with strangers throughout the day in the streets (everyday situations: stores, pedestrian walk, in line at the bank, the people sitting at the next table over from you in the fast food joint)... you are ready to move onto the next step.
*By "naturally find yourself"* we mean that you do not go out of your way to find strangers to initiate chit-chat with. You do *start* step 2 of the process by going out of your way to chat to strangers, i.e. you actually purposefully look for opportunities to talk to strangers and think about what to say to them. However, what will happen is that over time you will start getting in the habit and momentum of doing such, that you will "find yourself" just throwing out the perfect comment or chit-chatting to people without ever thinking about it. You have completed this step when it starts happening on average about 3-5 times a day.
*By chit-chat we mean that when you talk to people it at least involves you commenting or asking something, and the person responding with 2-3 lines exchanged between the two of you...
Step4--Once you are a "natural" at being the cool guy who always seems to *naturally* find himself in charming conversations with the strangers throughout his life... you are ready to move on to the next step... learn how to talk to the girls in these situations.
Start out by doing the same as you did in step 2, only start doing it with more and more attractive women. Continue doing this until you find yourself being able to see any woman in any everyday situation, and purposefully go up to her and have a "chit-chat"... No matter how much she gives you "the butterflies"!
Step5--Once you have reached this level, it's time to expand your comfort zone a little. You are now ready to be able to be "direct" when you talk to girls. Simply start approaching the stunning women that you see in these daily situations.
If the girl is moving towards somewhere fast (as are some of the hot women that you see throughout the day) simply stand in front of her, say with a big smile and in very clear tone "Hey... Excuse me..." [holding out your hand for her to stop]... And tell her genuinely and honestly *exactly* what you were thinking (in polite terms of course) "hey, I saw you from over there, and I just HAD to come over here and meet you... I know this isn't the perfect place and you're obviously in a hurry, but I just couldn't let an opportunity like this slip... Hi, my name is..."
If it's a stationary girl that you're trying to talk to (you both happen to be standing in the same line, or she is looking at something in a store) and you're wondering how to talk to her, just go straight for the direct introduction: "Hey, I like you, what's your name", or "Hi, I saw you and thought... man I'm gonna kick myself all night if I didn't at least come over and say hi... so hi, what's your name".
Do this until you are able to approach any talk to any woman, anywhere, and be able to proceed (after a small pleasant chat) to a very direct request for a further encounter (i.e. asking them out).
Make the entire experience like a small game to yourself. Challenge yourself and find out how much you can push yourself. "Ok, now I can approach women directly when they are alone... but I'm having problems talking to girls when they are with 2-3 friends... Ok, let's think about how to tackle that"... or "Wow, I'm doing so great at approaching women directly on the streets and even malls, but I'm not that good in talking to girls in small closed spaces like stores and banks etc... I should tackle that challenge now"
Step6--Once you have expanded most of your comfort zones... STOP DOING IT... Yes, that's right, stop looking at women, running up to them and asking them out on purpose.
By the time you have handled most of the challenges in this area, a nice bonus should be that you have a pretty decent love-life and there are plenty of quality women in your life... and, most of your days (simply by virtue of the lifestyle you've built), you do end up talking to girls through out the natural course of the day, without having to specifically go up and talk to them at parties and clubs.
Why should you stop doing it? Because the ideal is to not have to do "anything" to talk to girls. Once you have expanded all your comfort zones through step 4, you will find that you will have things "just happen to you"...
You will simply find yourself in conversations with hot women all the time without thinking about how to talk to them it or needing to go out of your way to start these conversations. For example: a woman will be standing next in line to you and you will find yourself cracking a witty comment about the service (without even thinking about it!) and before you know it, you two are in a fun conversation.
The romantic ideal of women is to have things "just happen", and that's what we want to build here for you. A life where you're meeting the most attractive of attractive women in everyday situations... without even trying.
Tips & Warnings
Remember, this guide presumes you're already talking to girls on a regular basis through clubs, bars and parties and that you have a pretty decent love(sex)-life, you can take the quiz to find out How do you know you're ready for this area besides having mastered step 1? A rule of thumb is that you feel somewhat at ease and can imagine being able to do this stuff eventually. If it's so far out of your reality that you can't imagine that a girl might ever talk to a stranger on the street or date him... then ignore this EHow completely.
Look at step 4 only as intermediary step to step 5. It's not the ideal (how to talk to girls everywhere without even trying), but a great way of getting there. Don't memorize the "lines" presented. They are only examples, not a "how-to". Memorize the concept behind them. For example in the lines in step 4, the concept is that you go talk to the girls showing respect, but at the same time being blunt and direct... saying EXACTLY what's on your mind and why you approached her. In other words, the formula is "go up to the woman, and say exactly what you're thinking" (translated into polite wording) Many men have been burned by trying to skip steps.
The steps presented are there for a reason. A lot of men have become social oddities by trying to skip over to step 4 without first learning how to have basic and advanced social and approaching know-how (knowing how to talk to girls in general). The streets are "expert" territory and this article is rated advanced. Unless you have basic charisma and charm under your belt, the odds are that if you go to step 4, you will simply creep out a ton of women, not get to talk to them... so don't do it... it's not respectful... It will waste you a lot of time going the wrong route. In much the same way if you have never exercised before and you go into a gym and try to lift the 100 pound dumbbell straight away.. you... will... hurt yourself (and potentially others). So don't do it.
Step 4 only works if you have basic charisma and charm skills... that is, you can chit-chat with any stranger, anywhere and have at least 90% of them smiling a big smile and be genuinely happy to be talking to you. Every woman who has read this article understands what step 5 means, but most men think it's some non-nonsensical new-agey thing. The only way you can understand step 5 is if you have mastered steps 3 and 4.
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