Single Dad Summer Activities

For dads, summer is the one opportunity in the year to find a way to be a tad hedonistic. Of course, being hedonistic is relative. As a young man, indulging in drugs, sex and rock and roll in the summer is not only natural -- it’s expected.
Let’s see if I remember how it went. First, I would go visit my best friend, the Big B, with my other best friends, Rick Rock and H (I was the Big P). Then we would roll up a big joint and listen to Zeppelin, the Stones or the Velvet Underground while trying not to scratch the records, which, for all intents and purposes, was impossible -- especially for the Big B.
Then we would all pile into H’s 1971 Valiant and head downtown to try to pick up chicks and get laid. Ah yes, those wonderful pre-HIV days, when all the girls were on the Pill. Yep, it’s all coming back to me -- those long, golden, hedonistic days when it was all about pleasuring oneself.

Live in the now
Cut to: It's summer 2007 and I’m a single dad to a great 16-year-old boy. I absolutely love being a single dad, except for the lonely nights.
My philosophy is: When the kids are away, the single dads can play. And we have the right to find time to practice single-dad hedonism without any guilt whatsoever. We suffer enough guilt from September to June a la: "Why couldn’t I keep the family together"; or "I regret that my child has to go back and forth"; or "the drop in my household income makes me feel like a loser."
We can put all that crap away in the summer and practice the George Costanza approach to single parenting: just do the opposite. We have nothing to feel guilty about.

The importance of "me time"
Before I started this article, I Googled "importance of me time" and got 76,900,000 hits. Then I Googled "importance of me time, single parents" and got zilch. So I know I’m onto something new. And I suppose if I Googled "single parents, hedonism" I would get the first negative number in the history of internet searches. If Google had a voice, it would say to me, “Man, not only does it not exist, like, you’re on another planet.”
Rediscover your hedonistic selfShout it loud, shout it proud: "I love being a single dad, but I hereby proclaim at least one week this summer to be my single dad hedonist week."
Run to the nearest mirror and say, “I’m a much better looking guy than I ever thought.” Acknowledge that your dog or cat likes you only because you feed them and that it’s time to relate to a woman who may want to lick you because of who you are as a dad, man or lover.

Get out there
Ignore all child-related messes and head out the door to visit places you would go if you weren't a family man. Go to where the beautiful people hang out downtown, where the uber-superwomen who know they look good stroll down the boardwalk with pleated miniskirts on.
Dine at restaurants that serve sex-inducing foods like oyster, octopus, fine wine, and cheese. Then look around and observe which women are willing to eat with their hands or dunk their bread in the virgin olive oil. You'll want to catch their eye…
Climb a mountain, take a hike, bicycle a hundred miles, but do something that your child could never do with you and be proud of the big manly sweat you work up -- the one that brings you closer to the beast you truly are.

Visit the museum.
Mill around the exhibits that serve the Indiana Jones in you or tap into something you feel more passionate about. And you can completely ignore the dinosaur bones and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
Head to a bookstore and split your time between looking at the book covers and flirting with the women looking at the book covers. For God’s sake, man, hang out in the self-help or cooking section if you have to!

Just be natural
You know, when you think of it, being a single dad offers us the best natural opening/pickup line when it comes to meeting women. You can cozy up to the nearest hot, smart-looking woman and say, “Boy, it’s nice to be out of the kids’ section.”
With that, not only do you pull on their heartstrings because you’re announcing you’re a great single dad who cares about children’s literacy, but in the same breath, you’re also able to say you’re single and be noble about it.
Use the “single dad line” in grocery stores, "Boy, it’s good to be able to buy grown-up food," or any other high-traffic locale. Just change the premise from child product to adult product. And there’s nothing to feel guilty about, because it’s utterly honest each and every time. That’s a win-win-win situation!

learn from the kids
It’s summer and your child is thrilled because they once again have the opportunity to do anything they want. What a concept. And once again, our children have something to teach us. I’m suggesting that we single dads also have the right to practice what our children already know: It’s OK to spend some time this summer only thinking of what’s in it for us -- at least for a few days.