May 4, 2009

First-date fibs that should be red flags

Most single men will stop at nothing to wow the pants off you during your first date, which includes lying through their teeth. At other times, fibs are used to sidestep less-than-desirable situations. And though it would be impossible to convey all the untruths uttered by guys, what follows are a few of the more common ones.

Dating Lie #1: "I'm between jobs."Don't let a line like this get lost in translation. When a dude feeds you this one, what he's really trying to say is "I have no friggin' clue what I want to do with my life." Nicholas, 29,* comes clean: "A few years ago, I was collecting unemployment and crashing on friends' couches," he says. "I had zero direction, but it wasn't like I could confess that to a girl without her thinking I was a total loser. Saying I was between jobs was the best way to sugarcoat my situation." Warning: This guy's mom still does his laundry, and there's a good chance you're springing for dinner.Don't assume he'll work things out, because when he does, you may realize his ambitions don't mesh with yours. "This mistake has contributed to the starter-marriage phenomenon, in which couples in their 20s and 30s suddenly realize they're going in different directions and divorce at an early age," says Dobransky. "It's preventable as long as you're both clear about your plans."

Dating Lie #2: "I never move this fast on the first date." Yeah, right! Truth be told: He can't believe you're letting him move that fast. "It's the woman who dictates how far things go," says Anthony, 23. "I'm always up for action, but I'll play the prude card just so my date doesn't think I'm a player." Bottom line: If you give a guy the opportunity, he's going to take it.

Dating Lie #3: "I've never had a serious girlfriend."Sure, it's possible that he's never had a bona fide better half, but chances are, there's an ulterior motive here. It could be a sly way of admitting he can't commit. "When I was in my early 20s, I was only interested in hooking up," says Matt, 31. "Even though I had a long-term girlfriend in high school, I always downplayed my commitment capacity so girls wouldn't get attached." On the brighter side, he might be trying to pique your interest with a covert challenge. Don't you want to be the one girl a guy can't resist falling for?

Dating Lie #4: "I'll call you."This one might sting a little, but Barry, 25, is willing to take the fall. "The last time I said 'I'll call you' to a girl was after I'd had the worst date of my life," he admits. "I felt obligated to say something just to be polite, but I 'lost' her number the second I walked out the door." Ouch! But there is some good news. There's a sneaky way to tell if he's a dubious dialer: A specific "I'll call you Friday" or "I'll call you tomorrow after work" almost guarantees he'll make good on the promise.
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