Mar 31, 2009

The Ability to Be Alone is Key to Having a Good Relationship

Are you staying in a bad relationship because you're afraid of being alone? If the prospect of being alone scares you more than the unhealthy relationship you're in, learn why the ability to be alone is actually the key ingredient to having a good relationship and a good life.

1. Nothing is lonelier than being in an unloving relationship.
It is one thing to get lonely when you are by yourself. You look around and no one is there. It is another thing to lie next to your partner in bed and feel all alone. Nothing is lonelier than that.
2. To know what makes you feel good, you must spend time alone.
There is only one way to know who you are really are - you must spend time alone. Alone time allows us to quiet all those other voices in our head other than our own. For the first time we are then able to hear our own voice. So much of the time we are busy trying to figure out how to make the other person like us; we need time alone to figure out how we can like ourselves.
3. Things come out when you are alone - that is good.
Being alone, eventually the mind begins to quiet down and things that were in darkness begin to come to the light. Our frame of reference narrows; we become Self-referring, i.e., we look inside for the answers, rather than outside, to others.
4. Everyone feels lonely sometimes - this is natural and normal.
Loneliness is part of the human condition. It is the existential slice of life that can never be changed; you will always feel lonely at times. Being lonely is different than being alone. Being alone is a choice that we make because we enjoy our own company.
5. If you can be alone, you have inner strength.
You also have self-esteem and self respect.
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