Dec 29, 2008

Three reasons to break up with your boyfriend

The three reasons to break up with your boyfriend include: the two of you having different goals for the future, physical or emotional abuse, and a lack of trust.

  • YOU ARE AFTER TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS
A relationship cannot survive if the two parties involved are not after the same things. If you want to be in a serious committed relationship, but your boyfriend is thinking of it as a more casual type of situation, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
Don’t put yourself in the perfect position to get hurt. If you are looking for a potential husband, then you should be dating a man who is looking to settle down. If you are focused on your career right now and not on fostering a long-term romance, then you shouldn’t be with a man who is focused on taking your relationship to the next level of commitment. It doesn’t make any sense to pair yourself up with a guy who has different intentions than you do.
After you have been dating someone exclusively for a while, you should have a talk about where your relationship is headed and where both of you want to see it going. The reason that you should wait a little while, like a couple of months, before you have the “where is this relationship headed” talk is because you need to give yourself time to figure out your feelings, and so does your boyfriend.
Until the two of you have established yourselves as a couple, it is too soon to make a judgment about your desires for the future. Remember, just because you decide that you think that this relationship is worth taking to the next level, that doesn’t mean that the relationship is certainly going to last – it just means that you are both willing to find out. If you have the talk and you find out that he is not interested in making things more serious and you are, then you will be able to spare yourself of further hurt feelings by ending the relationship. If you don’t talk about what the two of you want, then you are going to wind up putting your heart on your sleeve for nothing.
Even if the talk doesn’t go the way you wished it would have, it is still better to find out what your boyfriend’s intentions are so that you don’t waste your time in a relationship with someone who is not on the same page as you.

  • ABUSE

You should never stay in a relationship with a man who is physically or emotionally abusive towards you. Physical abuse is not something that you should forgive under any circumstances – you are worth far more than a relationship that involves domestic violence.

Your boyfriend may apologize until he is red in the face, but you have to stay strong and put yourself first. If he hit you once, then you have absolutely no reason to believe him when he tells you that it will never happen again, and you should not stick around to find out. Second chances are not something that should be afforded to everyone, and violent situations are a prime example of the unforgivable when it comes to a romantic relationship.

You deserve better – you deserve someone who will respect you and your safety – not someone who endangers you. If you are worried that your boyfriend will become physically abusive when you break it off, then do it in a well lit public place, and be prepared to call the police. If he threatens you, you should immediately call the authorities and get a restraining order of protection against him so that your safety is not compromised. Emotional abuse can hurt just as bad as the physical kind.

If your boyfriend is constantly berating you and putting you down, you should break up with him right away. If he tries to control your life by keeping tabs on your every move and monitoring your interactions with family and friends, then you need to get out of the relationship. You are in the boss of you, no matter what. Your boyfriend has no right whatsoever to dictate your existence and you need to respect yourself enough to leave a man who tries to control and hurt you.

  • LACK OF TRUST

If your relationship lacks trust, then you are better off without the relationship. Honesty is the most important policy for a happy couple. It is very hard to get over deception. If you are suspicious that your boyfriend has not been faithful to you, then how are you going to enjoy your time together?

First off, figure out why you don’t trust your boyfriend. If it is because you have had boyfriends cheat on you in the past, then you might be behaving unfairly. You can not transfer your mistrust of one man to another. You have to work on your ability to trust. If, on the other hand, you have caught your boyfriend in lies or he has been exhibiting signs of infidelity, or if he has cheated in the past and you forgave him but suspect he is up to his old tricks again, then you should break up with him.

Trying to love someone that you do not trust will make you become a jealous and insecure person, and that is not who you want to be.


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Dec 28, 2008

Be Patient For Your Friends

Shakespeare had said, "if you find a friend, tie him with chains of steel". This metaphorical statement goes a long way in explaining that to find a friend is very difficult and to keep him even more. So if you find a good friend do all you can to keep him or her. Because good friends are rare indeed.

But with having a friend one has to develop a lot of patience. As it is not easy to adhere to a friend and with your worldly needs. In school friends come and go but a few stay back, most of the friends we make here are superficial. In college our friendship grows a few roots while later in life some friends grow thick with our lives.

Sometimes we get so immersed in our lives - work routine, home chores and other stuff we forget about our friends. Or sometimes they keep calling us for a talk or just to hang out and we are just not in the mood to entertain them. But we must understand that the same will happen to us someday and it is our friends who raise our moods and give us that listening ear which does the trick.

So you need to have a lot of patience with your friends. Sometimes you just have to listen to them, sometimes take a walk or get a meal outside catching up on old times because not all of us are successful and have a great life. While we move up and out of college some of our friends do not do so well in life. They lack confidence or monetarily slacken. It is here to play the trick a friend indeed always does i.e. by being there for your friend.

Sometimes it's just the fact that you are there for him or her. All they want to know is that they are not alone in their struggle. A struggling phase in life seems never ending although the end is near and all you have to do is to say, 'hang in there, this will be over soon.' And sure it will be.
For married individuals it is difficult to balance marriage and friends as they are caught in the crossfire. Friends want to go out while the husband or wife wants to go out on the same day.

Meeting after work or going for a drink gets into unwanted trouble as the spouse at home thinks you are giving more importance to your friends. Hence doing the balancing act and explaining your spouse that it is just a matter of a day with friends while you are with your spouse always is what matters. So reserve all the patience you have cause-keeping friends for life is no piece of cake.
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25 Sweet Things to Say to Your Girlfriend

Don't run out of things to say to your girlfriend. She loves compliments. She loves that you're think of sweet things to say to her. As they say, compliments can go a long way. Remember that in anything that you say to your girlfriend, sincerity is key. You really have to feel what you're saying. Here are 25 sweet things to say to your girlfriend.

1. I love you.
2. You're beautiful.
3. I only want to be with you.
4. I love that shirt on you.
5. When I'm with you, I want to be a better person.
6. I miss you when you're away.
7. Your hair looks gorgeous tonight.
8. Is that a new necklace?
9. Wanna cuddle?
10. I feel tingles when we kiss.
11. I love listening to you speak.
12. I love the way I feel when I'm with you.
13. When we hold hands, I feel secure. And I feel like nothing can go wrong.
14. I am most happy when I can make you smile.
15. When you walk into the room, you make my day.
16. I missed you.
17. Thank you.
18. Thank you for being my best friend.
19. Of all the wonderful things in my life, you are number one.
20. Spending time with you is my number one priority.
21. What do you want to do?
22. I enjoy hanging out with you.
23. What's on your mind?
24. You shine in my life like no one has before.
25. Please stay.

This list of 25 sweet things to say to your girlfriend will help you to reach into her heart. Remember to be sincere. Let the sweet things you say roll naturally off your tongue.
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Top 10 Secrets on How to Turn a Man On

Don't worry ladies these ten secrets will not embarrass you or make you uncomfortable if you're shy. Once you realize that men, no matter how "manly" they may seem, enjoy being pampered and have a soft side you will be well on your way to discovering the simple secrets that can really turn a man on.

1. The first secret is all about you and how you present yourself. Men like women who have self respect. If you show up for a date with all your goodies on display that will certainly turn on a man however, your date may not last as long as you'd like.
Dress sexy but leave something to the imagination. Give him something to think about and look forward to during the date. Showing a little cleavage or a little leg will allow for the tension to build throughout the date.
2. The casual playful touch, the gentle stroke of your hand across his cheek, touch his arm when you laugh at his jokes, lean in close so he can feel your breath on his neck and face and eye contact can be very powerful often times the eyes speak a lot more words.
3. A confident woman who is independent and enjoys taking care of herself is a huge turn on for most men. Gone were those days women need a man for every little thing. A confident, self supporting woman who marches to her own beat is what men are looking for, not a weak little insecure porcelain doll that needs to be lead around by the hand.
4. Attractive women come in all sizes and shapes not every woman looks like she just stepped off the cover a magazine. However, if a woman makes the effort to look her best and feels good about her it shows and that is indeed a turn on to a man.
5. An adventurous and spontaneous woman who is not afraid to try new things or tread where few women dare to go is a woman worth pursuing. Adventure and spontaneity keep a relationship alive and going strong.
6. Talk dirty to me baby! Is a wish every man wants fulfilled? Men do it all the time, take a lesson, lean in close and whisper those "naughty" words in his ear and watch his expression. This works best in a public place it not only turns a man on it creates a sense of excitement and danger of getting caught.
7. A woman who can express her sexual desires through spoken words alone has the ability to turn on any man. The more descriptive you can be with what you want from him the better.
8. The scent of a woman is also a very powerful tool. So ladies choose your perfume wisely you don't want to smell like a cheap hooker nor do you want to smell like your laundry detergent, choose a few nice light but memorable scents.
9. A sense of humor is a must. A man loves a woman who has a little wit and doesn't turn three shades of red when she hears a dirty joke. If you can tell a dirty joke all the better!
10. Cliché or not a man is always turned on by a woman who can be herself. You're one in a million; don't try to be someone else!

These ten secrets will definitely work to turn a man on every time.
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Naughty Talk With Your Partner

What happens if you're talking naughty to your partner, and you suddenly run out of things to say? Even the most creative person can wind up tongue-tied, and even the wildest vixen in bed can suddenly find herself completely out of naughty words to use. Sometimes it can seem like you've used them all before! You need new and fresh examples for how to talk naughty to your partner.

This is when you go back to the beginning. In the first days of learning to talk naughty, you experimented with everything. You read books, you watched movies, and you might have even asked your friends for some good naughty talk examples. You probably went so far as to scour the internet and find naughty talk phrases. Maybe you looked into role playing games and found that even everyday words can be naughty, if they are delivered under the right circumstances and with just enough innuendo to make things interesting!

Start that search again, only this time, go more hard core. When you first started talking naughty you probably didn't know exactly what worked, but now you have a much better idea. So choose what does work and run with it! If your lover likes more hard-core comments from you in bed, look into the more explicit porn films or erotic novels to find something that trips his trigger.

If he's into role playing, look for something that makes him even hotter than anything you've done before. Here's an example: Let's say your man is into the fantasy of having more than one woman in bed with him. By now you might have played out that fantasy with toys and words, even blindfolding him or tying him down to make the effect of being "taken" all that more realistic.

Now, up the ante by making it even more intense. When you are both firmly into the "another woman in bed with us" fantasy, throw him a curve ball by changing it up. Tell him you want a whole group of women to watch you. Describe each one, catering to what you know he likes, and enhance the effect by wearing letting different fabrics brush against his body, as if they lingerie on each woman is different. Kiss him, then pop a flavored sucker into your mouth for a moment, remove it, and kiss him again - suddenly your kiss is different, and in his mind, the fantasy is enhanced even more.

The same old thing doesn't have to be the same old thing! When you are looking for ways on how to talk naughty that will make your partner just as hot as he was in the very beginning, all you have to do is enhance what you already have. Your lover will be more than satisfied, and so will you!
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