How To Be More Attractive To The Opposite Sex

Let me tell you a little story.
Over 18 years ago there was this really great guy. We were good friends and spent most of our free time together. He was a super handsome guy - I mean not only handsome, he was some sort of a model.
He had this gift when it came to meeting girls. There really weren’t any who could resist him. I mean, they would keep approaching him and they all behaved like they were hypnotized.
No matter what place we went to, be it a club, a bar, a library, even at a gas-station, he always somehow managed to find the most stunning girl I had ever seen, and he always got their number. Every single time.
Amazing. Shocking.
Needless to say that it was fun sticking around with him, as I’d always profit from his pickups, (the girls had “friends”of course).
The question was: How did he do that?
I remember that I always thought, “No problem. If I had his Brat-Pitt-meets-George-Clooney-face, I would be a lady-killer too”.
So I thought.
Unfortunately we then lost sight of each other for some time.
Almost 12 years later I was in a bar when suddenly a hand grabbed my shoulder. It was my lost friend. But what had happened to him? I nearly didn’t recognize him. He was a shadow of his former self.
He had lost most of his hair, gained at least 60 pounds weight and one of his front teeth was missing. It was a shock!
But he was still this great and fun guy to be with, and we really had fun that day!
Just as I thought that his great time with the ladies was likely over, (I admit, I’ve always been a little jealous), three gorgeous looking girls entered the place and went straight for the bar.
He immediately stood up and headed straight in their direction.
I was dead certain that he had gone completely loco. Most certainly they would rip his head off.
He disappeared out of my site, so after 15 minutes I went looking for him and expected to find him destroyed in some corner.
He was far from that. I never would have expected what I was about to see.
He stood there leaning at the bar while surrounded by these beauties. The hottest one was literally hanging at his lips, consuming greedily every word he was saying, laughing, everyone enjoying themselves.
Unbelievable.
(Tony, if you are reading this, you are my all time hero!)
Then it suddenly hit me. I simply got it. It was like a revelation.
Being successful with girls has nothing to do with being physically attractive.
Period.
This also works for women: you don’t have to be a model to attract guys.
Yes, I hear your question: what is it that makes someone attractive to somebody?
Ok, without further ado, here are 5 short tips for being more attractive than you may really be (this works for both, men and women):
1. Be different
Have you ever met someone and you instantly thought that this person was something else? He or she stood up against the crowd by behaving, talking and dressing different?
Be that person.
2. Be a stand-up comedian
Humor is a huge attraction booster. We feel comfortable around those who make us laugh.
There is actually a good book that teaches the principles of being funny, (yes, you can learn it). You might want to check it out: “Comedy Writing Secrets” by Melvin Helitzer.
3. Be cocky
Don’t say amen to everything - tease her/him, poke fun at her/him in a respectful way.
This is a core element of David DeAngelo’s philosophy.
4. Do not show (sexual) interest right away
Behave like this is your best friend. This goes especially for men, because men tend to be hypnotized by extremely beautiful women and behave unnaturally. This is usually a turn-off for the other person.
Just imagine that it’s your best buddy and behave accordingly.
5. Be an experienced conversationalist
This is something which really CAN be learned and practiced. Learn some main principles and practice, practice, practice.
Find some great tips to start with here.
There, you now have some short tips which I think will help improve your effect on women/men. I suggest that you work on them.
It certainly wouldn’t hurt if you had some knowledge about “The Game” (for some tips start here: for guys and girls).
Physical attraction helps. There’s no way around this.
But it’s not the ultimate goal getter.
There are some special traits you CAN develop which will boost your attractiveness with the other sex.
Learn it.
Practice it.
Apply it.
Then you can be like my friend, who will never be alone, as long there is one attractive female left on this earth.

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Does sexy clothing justify domestic violence?

The majority of us are thankful to think that the time when a girl could be said to be "asking for it" - "it" being a slap, a beating or rape - because she was wearing a short skirt or talked back, is behind us.
But a new survey conducted for the Home Office shows that one in seven people believe it is acceptable in some circumstances for a man to hit his wife or girlfriend if she is dressed in "sexy or revealing clothes in public".
A similar number believed that it was all right for a man to slap his wife or girlfriend if she is "nagging or constantly moaning at him".
Sadly, it mightn't surprise you to learn that the male and female survey participants over age 65 who, somewhat in their defence, grew up in a different era, believed that a woman should be partly held responsible for being raped or sexually assaulted.
The lower social classes tended to agree and in effect unwittingly encouraged stereotypes and strengthened the class divide just when we thought the walls might be tumbling.
There's so much of this story that needs examination: What are we doing about domestic violence? How reliable are these results? How does the way we deal with rape and domestic assault feed into these values? The list goes on...
However, as this is a Home Office survey, the most pressing question must be: What exactly are the government proposing to do in order to change these archaic attitudes? As surely, without intervention and clear lines drawn, women will continue to be attacked and worse still, feel guilty for 'provoking' the violence towards them.
Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, commented in a recent police review:
"Violence against women and girls is unacceptable in any form no matter what the circumstances are. More needs to be done to challenge attitudes that condoned violence against women and girls."
Outlining an idea being considered by the government she explained that, in the not too distant future, women may be able to ask police if a new partner has a record of domestic violence. A similar scheme which allows women to request information on whether a new partner has a history of child sex abuse is currently underway in four police force areas of England and Wales.
But Ms Smith was shortly accused by veteran domestic violence campaigner Sandra Horley, chief executive of Refuge, of using "gimmicks" and "spin" arguing that government action so far had been "piecemeal" and condemned plans for a database of serial domestic abusers.
"We have had enough talking – we need action. As for the perpetrators' register, it is a gimmick and doesn't address the root problem," she said. "The majority of violent men don't come to the attention of police and it won't keep women safe. Police can't be expected to monitor relationships and love lives of offenders - the government is hoping to get away with useless initiatives like this register and it is hypocritical to sound tough and do little."
One thing is clear. With or without an offenders list some women fall into a pattern of relationships with violent men. Their self-esteem disintegrates with each attack and as this survey shows, in the end they think they deserve everything they get and now know that as a nation, to a large extent, we agree.
Women need to be empowered if they are going to avoid or escape violent relationships and report sex attacks without feeling as if their sexuality or personality is to blame. Still today the majority of rape cases are not reported to police and, even if a woman finds the courage to tell the authorities of her ordeal, only 6% of all reported sex attacks are convicted, a statistic which only goes towards promoting such offences as unpunishable and as such acceptable.
But it's not just women who are painted in a weak and pitiful light by this survey. One issue that is continuously ignored by campaigners, government bodies and Joe public alike is that these opinions regarding domestic violence and rape affords so little power to men.
It assumes they are incapable of controlling themselves around a V-neck jumper; that they can't hold their own in an argument with their partner so they have to roll up their sleeves. This of course is a grossly incorrect image of men in general as spineless, pitiable creatures who are powerless in a world of women but it is very obviously opinion of the participants in the survey who agreed that sexually potent women provoke apparently pathetic men to make these attacks – one can only wonder if they would have changed their answers if they had considered this.
So, the question is this – as women should we be more wary of the clothes we choose and the way we behave in front of men so as not to fuel their anger or violence towards us? Are we partly to blame for attacks if we have been 'asking for it' and where is the line of provocation drawn? Surely men are intelligent beings who know how to behave and can control their feelings and if not for the women who feel they deserve beatings or sexual assaults, then shouldn't the government be looking to change the opinion of the next generation, the children in these homes who grow up believing that a recalcitrant woman just needs a good seeing to, in one way or another? You decide.

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A lifetime of romance

It has long been a common belief that, once the first flush of excitement is over and you're in for the long haul, the romance goes out of the relationship.
However, according to a new study it's not necessarily the case.
Using the data from 25 studies of 6,070 people, both in long and short term relationships, researchers Bianca Acevedo and Arthur Aron of the University of California attempted to find out who were the most satisfied with their relationships.
Distinguishing between romantic, passionate and companionate love, the study found that those whose long-term relationships still involved romance were the happiest couples. No surprises there!
Those experiencing companionate love were 'moderately satisfied' whether in the short term or long term, whilst the passionate ones were very satisfied but only for a limited period of time.
Writing in the Review of General Psychology, the researchers said: "Contrary to what has been widely believed, long-term romantic love... appears to be a real phenomenon that may be enhancing to individuals' lives.
"This could also be distressing for long-term couples who have achieved a kind of contented, even happy – but not intensely romantic – status quo, assuming it is the best anyone can expect."
So it seems romance really can last a lifetime... but for the 'moderately satisfied' among us it may just be a distant memory!

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7 Rules Of Negotiating With Your Ex After A Divorce

It’s happened. Game over.
The relationship is ending (supposedly) in divorce. But, it is necessary to tie up the loose ends during the divorce process and, if there are children involved, certain parts of the relationship are never really over.
The following guidelines assume that you and your partner are moving forward with the divorce process, or that you must remain in contact with your ex afterwards for reasons pertaining to the children.
According to attorney Erik Carter of Cordell & Cordell, PC, a firm dealing exclusively with divorce, there are a set of points you should consider when you must negotiate with your ex or soon-to-be-ex.
Of course there is much to be said for basing a relationship upon trust, but let’s face it, if the relationship is in the throws of a divorce or post divorce, trust is probably a factor that is on some level questionable. During the divorce process the stakes are high regarding what each party will walk away with and care must be taken not to cross into territory that could put either party in a position to lose what is most important to them. If this advice suggests materialism, consider the “non-material” elements that are potentially up for grabs such as access to your children, your finances, and your freedom to make unhindered decisions for the rest of your life.
The rules that follow are a method for navigating the perilous waters of the divorce process, a process governed by the letter of the law and attention to detail.
1. Get it in writingCarter stresses that any verbal agreements regarding anything from child-care arrangements to whether or not a piece of real-estate can be sold should be put down on paper.
2. Assume that each agreement is a possible violation waiting to happenCarter advises that one way to keep yourself clear of violating a court order is to imagine how your proposed action could be viewed in a negative light. “One way to look at this is to question whether you are being set up, but another way is that you are simply analyzing your actions to see if there is any way that it could go against the spirit of your court orders. If you see a glimmer of how it might, don’t do it.”
3. Pay attention to detailsDoes the “daycare” that you are expected to pay for refer to a licensed daycare provider or her boyfriend?
4. Get something for everything you giveThis holds true especially during the divorce process. “Rarely,” says Carter. “Will you get something for free.” Look for the strings now rather than later.
5. Consider the consequences for each of you if the agreement is violatedWhen agreements are crafted consequences should be listed if the agreement is not followed. If your ex won’t agree to a consequence her sincerity about keeping her part of the agreement should be questioned.
6. Anticipate changeIf your agreement states that you will pick up the children after school on Friday, what happens in the summer? It may seem ridiculous to nitpick these agreements when you are making them, but from the perspective of a family-law attorney, these can become hotly-contested issues down the road.
7. Pay attention to outside interpretations of your requestsIt is a stereotype, but one that is widely held that while one parent is concerned for the children, the other is concerned for the finances. Be sure that you spell out why you are requesting marital property, or more parenting time, not just what you want. Leave no doubt as to your motives.

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10 Things I Would Do Different If I Were 18 Again

There is a movie called Peggy Sue Got Married where a grown woman miraculously travels back in time to her high school years. She then tries to avoid all the mistakes she made, especially not hooking up with her eventual husband.
Guess what? She did it all again. Exactly the same way she did before.
While of course this is just a movie, it is true that when you reach a certain age, you tend to look back on your life and think about what you could have done better.
I turned 41 last year, would you believe it? I do not.
But I am happy with it.
It wasn’t always that way. There was a time when I was afraid of getting older. I had the feeling that time was my enemy, and that every day that passes I was losing something really important - an opportunity.
I was afraid of change.
As if getting older means losing your youth and vitality. It does not. Not if you don’t want it to. You can still start a new business, snowboard, jet ski, jump out of planes, date young women, climb the K2.
You can still do everything you want to - it only depends upon your will and determination.
It is my belief that with age, you win so much more.
Among other things, you gain wisdom and experience (note: this might not be applicable to everyone).
Along with this, sooner or later one important question arises:
If you look back at your time as a young adult, (for some of my readers this is not long ago), would you have done things differently with the experience you have now?
You certainly would.
One good friend of mine once said that when he looks back on his life, he only regrets things he has not done - he never regrets the things he did.
This is so true for me.
Having that in mind, I asked myself what I would have done differently back then, (and I’m going to come completely clean here).

Here they are - the 10 things I would do different if I were 18 again:
1. Fear would never stop me
Fear was a big problem for me back then. Additionally, I was extremely shy too and had low self-esteem, (believe it or not).
I was afraid of so many ridiculous things.
All of them irrational fears, which only accomplish one thing: they prevented me from growing and emerging.
All the things I would do better, (and am doing better now), were grounded in fear.
2. I would always march to a different drummer
Don’t be ordinary. Be different.
Don’t do the things that everybody is doing - think and act different. The world is full of ordinary people.
Only when you are different can you accomplish special achievements.
In order to be different, you have to be independent. More independence means mainly: do more things alone, depend less on others.
Independence is the key to many things in life. If I had been more independent, these irrational fears would have vanished with time.
3. I would learn to handle women, even then
If I had been a master in the dating game already, that would have spared me from a lot of trouble and frustration. Getting the relationship you want early will save you from regrets later.
There are simply some things and rules you have to learn in order to get the girl you like. Learning them the hard way, by trial and error can be arduous and frustrating. Especially when you are a shy person like I was.
You can never learn the rules of dating and seduction early enough, (kindergarten may be too early though).
4. Find out what kind of person I am
Know thyself.
This is a tough one of course. People try doing this their whole lives and still do not succeed.
If I had known the techniques for self-discovery and self-improvement back then, I would have taken the right path of knowing who I really am much earlier. This is a vital step in improving your self-esteem.
5. Get an education that corresponds to the person I am
I went to university and studied the subject my parents wanted me to. While this made my parents happy, it made me unhappy.
This is a big mistake. Everybody should choose the perfect field of study corresponding naturally to their skills and interests. This will set the ground for a fulfilled business life, (which is one part of being a happy person).
Remember the three pillars of happiness.
6. I would do crazy things more often
While this is definitely not for everybody, it would have been important for me.
I was a very serious person and didn’t know really how to have fun.
Doing enough crazy (legal) things and having fun when you are young will ensure that you are not doing them when it’s inappropriate.
“But we’re never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy”—Seal
7. I would not have a long term relationship before 25
This is a big one for me personally.
I rushed into long term relationships when I was too young and too immature for it. This led into discontent on both sides, and prevented me from getting experience.
8. Find my dream and never let it go
What is your life-dream? What is your life-goal?
These are vital questions. Had I known how vital they are, I would have spent more time on finding and pursuing my dreams back then.
The problem is - you don’t really care when you are young. You have other problems. Investing time and energy in finding out what you REALLY want, and finding ways to get it is not normally on the priority list. There are too many distractions.
How important this really is, comes back to you when you find yourself alone after a break up or divorce.
9. I would have gone backpacking around the globe
Getting away from everything you know, leaving your comfort-zone, will help you to get more independent and will force you to enjoy many new experiences. Many unexpected opportunities will present themselves outside your comfort zone. I could give you a hundred examples.
Meeting unknown cultures and people is very important to broaden one’s horizon.
10. I would get a mentor
Having a person in your life, older and wiser than you, who will guide you with your life-goals is something very valuable.
There you have them, 10 things I would do different if I were 18 again.
Please keep in mind that those are my personal things I would do differently - most likely they are not for everyone.
Who knows how my life would be now if I had done all those things back then. I certainly am not complaining about where my life is now - it is great how it is. (I did eventually do all these things much later, so it’s never too late).
But I believe that I would have spared myself a lot of suffering if I had done these things right from the beginning.
Then again, we are who we are, and the experiences we had throughout our lives have made us - the good and the bad.
Would I go back again and do things different if I could?
Maybe. It’s a hypothetical question.
What’s not hypothetical is the fact that you can change your life anytime you want if you are not happy with it.
You do not even need a time machine for that. The power is in your own hands.

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